crib to cot, when is the right time?

[Jaysfirst]

My DD is just 7 weeks ( weighs a hefty 13 lbs 2 ozs) i have been having problems with her sleeping, in that she would wake up every 1 1/2 -2 hours demanding a feed ... then not taking anything but falling asleep on my breast. After reading a few books and talking it through, DH and i came to the conclusion that we were keeping her awake and disturbing her through the night, and vice versa..... soooo we took steps and on Monday night put her in her cot. She went down at 8, dream fed at 11, woke at 4 30 then again at 6. a much better timescale ( for me anyway!) so then last night very similar pattern, bathed and fed and in cot by 7, dream fed at 10 30 then woke at 3 then 5.30 for feeds. Its not perfect but its better than before. When i mentioned that i had put her in her own room to my doctor today ( DD had her 6 week check) he was very negative in his answer and told me in no uncertain terms that i should have her in my room with me til she was 6 months old. That i should wake when she did and that i should sleep when she did......I felt like i was 10 and being told off by a teacher....whilst i understand the reasoning behind it, i wanted others thoughts, opinions and experiences in this matter...I do have the baby monitor next to me and can hear her well enough. Am taking the Docs words to heart? am i doing it too soon? or am i doing the right thing for both of us????

Ds has never slept in dh's and my bedroom . At the time he was born we knew too many people with 2/3 year olds who still slept in their parents bedrooms and we never wanted to get into that situation.

I have to say after 2 nights sharing with him in the hospital I knew I wasn't going to sleep well listening to him breathe, snuffle and what-have-you all night , never mind him waking for feeds anyway.

We also returned the baby monitor to the shop within days of getting ds home because it just wasn't necessary.

I find I have super-sensitive hearing where ds is concerned and always wake if he needs me.

Most people are shocked by our approach though.

You are the mum! I think what you've done is right.

Both of mine got kicked out of our room at 2 weeks. They both hated the Moses Basket and none of us liked being in the same room.

I put ds in his own room at about 4 weeks - He definitely slept better there (and I know I did). We also hated the monitor and put it off some nights - I always heard him anyway.

His sleeping did get worse again though at about 4 months and I started co-sleeping then in an attempt to improve this - Big mistake - the wakings got worse and I got more tired so was unable to do anything other than try co-sleeping (I just wanted to lie down). After about 3 months of this I realised that he seemed to settle better on the night wakings when I put him in his cot rather than in bed with me. So at 7 months he was back in his room.

This is all bit long winded but it is just meant to say - do what works for you now but be aware it may all change. As for the doctor he's not the mother - you know what will work best for your family. Lots of people who co-sleep happily in the same baed with their babies get told they are doing the wrong thing too.

Also my best friedn put her ds in his own room at 1 week old. She said she just couldn't get any sleep at all otherwise. All his noises kept her awake and he woke more often.

More people do this than you realise.

I know parents who put their babies in own rooms from the first few weeks, quite a few of them! I would have had DS in our room but no exaggeration here, our room was so tiny that we couldn't even have fitted a moses basket on a stand next to or at the end of our bed! (we have moved, thank god!)

So our DS went into the cot in his room, in his moses basket, as soon as we came home. No problems whatever. i did use a monitor though and had it turned right up so that I could hear his every breath, but this was not a necessity just me being paranoid mum...

My son went into his own room at 1 week old (with massively sensitive baby monitor). Even now I slep with earplugs so that I can only hear when he is crying (vitrually never thank the lord) not every snuffle. HE is 8 months now...

my ds slept in a moses basket on a stand in our room from day 1 but never seemed particularly happy (although he happily slept in the moses basket in his cot at naptime). All the advice you read seems to say that the baby should sleep in your room but after 3/4 weeks it was apparent that none of us was getting any quality sleep - night feeding aside, even when ds was asleep he seemed to move around and snuffle constantly. In the end we put him in a grobag in the cot in his room with a baby monitor and he slept soundly from the first night. I have to say that I got some shocked reactions from other mums but it worked for us - ds is now 5 months old and we also don't have to worry about the transition from sleeping in our room to his own cot like some of my friends are going through.

jaysfirst, just to be clear the advice about having the baby in the same as you for six months is to reduce the risk of cot death. I'm sure you knew that though.

Ds went into his own room in a crib at the age of 4 weeks, Dd is now 5 weeks & still in our room & probably will be for a couple more weeks, i think its up to you every family is different & so is every baby what works for one may not work for another, don't be told by anyone go with your own heart

harpsichordcarrier - how is having ds in same room reduce risk of cot death?

After one night with dd in our room, she went into her cot (in moses basket) from then on. Lots of my friends were the same, though I have some friends who are avid co-sleepers. Each to their own definitely. I knew about the cot death advice.

I don't think they really know why do they? just that cot death is less likely if your baby sleeps in the same room. I read somewhere that one theory about cot death is that the baby "forgets" to breath while sleeping, and if it can hear your breathing this is less likely to happen. They also give the advice that you shouldn't co-sleep with your baby, but every parent I know has done that at some time or other. I think you just need to remember that cot death is extremely rare, and weigh up the risk versus your need for a good night's sleep!

yes, that's it lahdeedah. it is a "risk factor" - it is not clear exactly why.

sorry, posted too soon. there is a lot of research about what makes babies more/less likely to die of cot death. But as no one really knows what cot death is and why it happens, then it is difficult to make any concrete conclusions about why some things are more or less risky.

thanks for the posts ladies. I did realise the reasons behind having them sleep in with you Harps, thing is, DD always 'forgets' to breath, whether shes with us in our room, lying on my lap in the day, or lounging in her bouncer, i dont think having her in her cot in the room right next to ours is going to add or detract from that!! Well she has been in her room for three nights now and last night was great down at 7, dream feed at 10 30, feed at 3 then again at 6. Amazing huh! well it is for me, as like i said before she was waking and feeding every hour or so before. I think you are all right though, it does depend on the situtaion, how the parents feel, and when the times righ i guess you know! Thanks again its good to know that i am not on my own here!