Help pls- is my 13mo over or under tired?

[daisylulu]

Please help- I'd really appreciate your opinions as I can't see the wood for the trees at the moment.

My 13mo is becoming increasingly difficult to settle at bedtime- can take up to 90 mins. She's also starting to wake earlier again (we had 4am starts back in dec which lasted for 4 months and I'm desperate to avoid falling into that cycle again). I know that early morning waking can be a sign of overtiredness but bedtime resistant can be a sign of undertiredness so I have no idea which camp we fall into...

Generally her routine is:
6am wake (though can be as early as 5, never later than 6.30)
9.15 ish nap - I wake her after 45-60mins as otherwise she would probably sleep for 2 hours!
1.30-3 nap - normally has 90mins though can be up to 2 hours
6.30-7 bath and then bed

It's taking up to 8pm to get her to settle- sometimes later. I like to try and do her bath about 6.30 but on my working days it is often more like 7pm.

We are slowly drifting into early morning starts- even though she might not be going to sleep until 8pm she can still wake at 5- I don't think that 9 hours sleep can be enough?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts and advice.

My (11.5mo) DS's bedtime has slowly stretched from 6.30pm to 8pm, now you mention it.... 8pm is the final cut-off for us though. That's when we put him down regardless and 9/10 times he nods off very quickly.

He also wakes up around 6am usually but it can be as early as 5 or as late as 7. If 9 hours isn't enough then he tends to top-up with a morning nap - maybe your DD does that? Having said that, some babies survive on really low levels of sleep so maybe she's fine as she is!

Not very helpful I'm afraid, but your situation is similar to ours so you might find that reassuring :)

Thanks. It is reassuring to know its relatively normal.

I'm wondering if I need to start cutting out the morning nap so that she can't use it to catch up on nighttime sleep...? the theory being she then goes to bed earlier and doesn't wake early. Thing is don't think I'm brave enough to cut out the morning nap...

My boy would raise hell if I made him stay awake through his morning nap!! He does have an afternoon nap too, and if that goes on too late then he goes to bed proportionally later. I do try to put him down at around 3pm and have him awake by 4.30/5pm if possible, but often it's over earlier than that.

I try not to adjust his sleep too much TBH - I assume that I should just let him follow his own rhythm (within reason, which is why I wake him up by 5pm at the absolute latest).)

If I were going to choose a naptime to alter then I'd prefer to target the late one. I think that if he gets a good start to the day then he's less likely to be a PITA later on!!

daisy - I think you've hit the nail on the head wrt the morning nap. I think she is in the middle of the 2-1 nap transition. However, don't panic as this can take quite a while to get through! And you don't have to jump straight to 1 nap, you can cut back one of her naps gradually until she is really ready to drop it.

You are right that early morning waking can be a sign of overtiredness, but it is usually linked to too long/too early a morning nap. She's still having 45mins-1hr here so IIWM I would start to gradually cut this nap down by 5mins every 3 days. You do this by putting her down later but wake her at the same time. So:

days 1-3 9.20-10am
days 4-6 9.25-10am
days 7-9 9.30-10am and so on

I would aim to have her napping from 9.30-10am (capped at 30mins max). You may find she needs to take her lunchtime nap slightly earlier, perhaps around 1pm. This will mean she is awake for longer before bedtime, which will hopefully help her settle better. The combination of shorter morning nap and longer afternoon should improve her early waking situation.

If the improvement is only very slight, and she continues to be difficult to settle at bedtime & continues waking earlier, I would suggest keeping the 30minute morning nap but pushing it later still, until its 9.45-10.15. Lunchtime nap 3hrs later. If the early waking still persists, or she isn't ready for her lunchtime nap, then you can cut the morning nap even shorter, using the same method as above until its 10-10.15am for 15mins max. Lunchtime nap somewhere around 12.30-1pm (follow her tired signs for this).

A lot of people can't be bothered to cap the naps like this & so jump straight to 1 nap. However, its a big jump for your LO to make from being awake 3hrs inbetween naps to being awake for 5hrs on both sides of 1 nap & so they can get overtired very easily. So if you get to a point where you decide to go for it, offer an early lunch & the nap at 11/11.30am (don't push til after lunch or she will overtired) And then don't be afraid to offer a really early bedtime of 6/6.30pm, especially if she doesn't nap well. We started trimming my DS's naps at 9/10 months old & he started doing 1 nap days at 12 months but didn't do them every single day until 15 months - so just to show you it can take quite some time to get there!x

Thanks omama. Really helpful. I'm going to give it a go (though may wait a few days as think DD might be coming down with yet another ear infection hence time of this post!).