Routine ideas for 11 week old please

[whoopwhoopbib]

My DD is 11 weeks old and ebf on demand. She doesn't have a routine as such during the day because for the first 4 weeks I had to have my cs wound dressed everyday at the GP's which was at a different time each day. She was then diagnosed with tongue-tie at 4.5 weeks and had it snipped but our days were then spent trying to teach her how to suck.

Now that she is feeding fine I would like to try and give her more structure to her day as she doesn't nap very well, she tends to go from being ok to instantly overtired and won't be put down if she has fallen asleep on me without waking up again.

She sleeps brilliantly at night though, I feed her and cuddle her from about 7pm and she goes to sleep between 8.30pm and 9.30pm and usually only wakes around 4am for a feed, goes back down until 5.30ish but then refuses to go back into her moses basket and will only sleep again if being cuddled.

I made the mistake today of reading a couple of baby books which have made me worry that I have left a routine too late and I will struggle now to get her to sleep during the day and get her to self-settle at night.

Any routine ideas/tips would be greatly appreciated thank you

Wow, sounds like you have a lovely baby and a great sleeper. My DD is about the same age at 12 weeks and a good bit more challenging. Personally I prefer to follow her cues rather than impose routines from popular baby training books, parenting gurus etc. There are things we do everyday but as no two days are exactly the same for anyone things vary. Basically we are on a little cycle of bf, nappy change, playtime, nap when she starts looking tired. If nap doesn't happen then I bf again and pop her in her sling...which is a sure fire way to get het sleeping. I also try to fit in a daily walk and a bath every other day. Doing baby massage too during alert times, and may start taking her to a weekly baby group at sure start now that her reflux and colic are improving somewhat. Night time sleep can be challenging...she usually goes down between 8&9, sleeps til 12, wakes at 3 and again at 6...then may be up for the morning or back to sleep until 8...depending how unsettled her night was. This probably sounds terrible to mums with easier babes but for us its a great improvement as she could only sleep being held upright or in her sling for her first 8-9 weeks.

If you like more structured routines and schedules and think your baby would respond well to something then do give it a try...maybe develop something that takes your favourite and most workable bits from the books and see how it goes?

Sorry, no better advice for you! I find it easiest just to go with the flow and follow DD's cues while giving appropriate response...feed when hungry, stimulate when alert, encourage sleep when tired.

Good luck!

Thank you Mitsouko thats just what I wanted to hear really - that I'm not doing it all wrong by just going with the flow as you are and following DD!

We have been for a walk today using the sling for the first time and she did fall asleep on the way home and stayed asleep for an hour which is great as she had been awake for 6 hours by then.

I keep reading that babies should not be awake for any longer than 2 hours before a nap but I can't get DD to sleep after this amount of time so she always goes longer - sometimes if it's a bad day she will go 10 hours without any naps.

I would just like to say that I do appreciate that she is a good sleeper at night and I'm in no way complaining about this or being smug, it is just down to sheer luck I believe. It worries me that she doesn't sleep much during the day because I think it must be damaging to her but then again I seem to spend alot of my time worrying about her :).

Glad to help...was worried I wouldn't be of much! Often the sling is the only way I can get my DD to sleep. She's not really one of those babies you can pop in the cot and leave to self settle. Tried it but it just makes for fussing and stress and I'm not prepared to let her cry herself to sleep when there are so many gentler ways to encourage rest. I usually leave her in the sling for about half an hour and then carefully transfer to basket once she's deeply sleeping. If it works then I can often get another hour out of her, if not then at least she has had a 30 minute nap. 10 hours does sound like a crazy long time for a young baby to be awake but my DD would probably fight it that long too if not for my arsenal of settling techniques...

Bloody baby books! DP forced me to throw The Baby Whisperer out coz he kept coming home to find me in tears coz I thought I was doing everything wrong!

Personally I think babies' napping routine is really changeable until they're at least 5 months old. Whoop rather than trying to get DD to nap at particular times maybe you should concentrate on recognising when she's sleepy and finding a way to settle her that suits you both? Have you tried BFing her til she's really sleepy then putting her in a Moses basket, ssshing her and keepng your hand on her tummy. You might find she cries for a minute or two or fusses a little but she might just drift off. Or if that doesn't work for you, then use the sling. The important thing is that DD gets some sleep when she needs it. 10 hours sounds a long time to be awake for an 11 week old but then, every baby is different! :)

I only had a quick glance at The Baby Whisperer but remember it seeming pretty bonkers. Seemed geared to a very detached style of parenting... I recall thinking it would probably work for a ff baby going directly into their own room on arriving home. Provided said baby was relatively easy going and didn't fight sleep, have feeding or digestive issues, and was ok with caregivers being restrained with their physical contact.

The only baby books I've really enjoyed are a few of the ones by Dr Sears...mostly because he encourages parents to be responsive and caring, trust their instincts and beware of baby trainers!

DD is currently asleep on DP as wouldn't allow him to put her down without waking up but at least she is asleep!!

She was getting overtired yesterday afternoon just as we were about to go out but closed her eyes as soon as she was in her car seat before it even made it to the car and then slept for about 5 hours but was still ok during the night. I spent most of that time being helpfully told that she should have been put down awake in her basket from birth and left to cry. I politely explained why this wouldn't have worked for us and that when she is left to cry she just gets really worked up and there is no way she would drop off.

I do agree about your ff theory mitsouko regarding baby books, DD couldn't have waited 3-4 hours for her next feed in the early days as she wasn't getting alot due to her tt so it would have been cruel of me to have followed a strict routine even though I wasn't aware of the tt.

fuzzy I have started to put her in her moses basket slightly awake and patting her tummy but she just stares at me as if to say 'what do you think you are doing? It won't work mummy!'

I will keep trying though as she has been known to go off to sleep on her own but it has only been about twice so just luck again.

The sleep book that is more ebf geared is Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution.

To be honest there are many of us who have never done anything other than cuddle and feed to sleep...they out grow it:) Can't promise when though!

I am pleased to hear that havingabath because I am quite happy to cuddle/rock/feed to sleep it's when other people find out and tell me it's the wrong thing to do.

We had what I now realise is classed as a traumatic birth and awful bf feeding problems (part of nipple is now missing) so I think after reading these posts I will carry on with what suits us as I think DD deserves a nice cuddle before bed. Although I do expect you all to come back and help me when she is 14 and still rocked to sleep :)

Feel better still and read summat like a margot Sutherland book, think it is called the science of parenting or was rebranded as what every mother should know... Then you will feel really reassured.

Sounds great that your tough start hasn't got in the way of you enjoying your baby:)

Hi my dd2 is also 11 wks. I think the most important thing is that they do sleep and not how they go to sleep.. My dd1 fed,to sleep until she was 9 mos! At that point she stopped falling asleep during bf so we had to help her learn to self settle.

With dd2 I dont have as much time to help her sleep and I am lucky that she can self settle sometimes. If you do want to try sometimes seeing,if she will settle try the first nap of the day, before she gets overtired and put her down early. I put dd2 down for her first nap approx 1 hr after wak

Sorry phone is trigger happy!

After waking. I don't let her cry but I do let her fuss and yelp. Usually, if I have put her down before she is overtired she will settle. Towards the end of the day she might be too overtired to settle so I pop her in the sling, or if we go out she' sleep in the sling... She has also just started settling in the pram.

My dd2 sleeps about 4 ish hours,n the day spread over about 3-4 naps and 12 hrs at night with a couple of feeds, she is ebf. You should find ins general the more daytime sleep, the better they sleep at night!

I like the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It is a bit of an essay (not very well edited!) But it is very useful on sleep rhythms by age. He says sleep is most important and you can achieve it how is best for you. He does talj about CIO and CC, but also talks about bf to sleep, rocking to sleep and cosleeping.