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First time mum confused about bedtime - any help much appreciated!

8 replies

littlemissoops · 01/06/2012 15:50

Hi

My DS is 9 weeks old and is generally a pretty happy little guy. I'm trying to follow the EASY routine (eat, activity, sleep, you) as he seems to have accidentally fallen into it anyway, and it gives me some idea of what to expect next! However, I think I'm doing bedtime wrong. Currently, he has a bath with DH (which he absolutely loves - loads of kicking and giggling) then a long BF with me in a darkened room, then I put him down in his cot, after which (touching every available piece of wood!) he sleeps for 7-8 hours. He started sleeping through about 2 weeks ago completely by accident - I got mastitis and went to stay with my parents for a bit of support, so I put him in his travel cot which is an enclosed tent, and he just seems more settled in there, so have currently continued to use it and just bought a 'cot canopy' to recreate the cosiness. Anyway, my worry is that he feeds and then falls asleep in my arms, and I know that I'm meant to put him down awake. He's not falling asleep on the breast, but very soon after. During the daytime he goes down awake - I put him in his cot for naps, and he grizzles for a couple of minutes (during which I stroke his tummy and use one of those stuffed toys that makes a soothing noise) and then he usually goes to sleep. But when I have tried putting him down awake at bedtime he screams the place down. I'm just not sure what to do - part of me thinks that I should keep trying, as I know that feeding to sleep can be a bad habit that will have to be broken at some stage, but another part of me feels like he's only 9 weeks and as long as he is sleeping well perhaps I can be a bit lenient about this. In general, I'm keen on routines and structure, but I don't want to be excessively strict, and I know he's too young for anything like controlled crying. I just want to get the balance right - any thoughts? Thank you!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
loveisagirlnameddaisy · 01/06/2012 18:08

I think you're doing brilliantly for his age. You seem to understand the pitfalls of feeding to sleep and you can try gently to encourage this each time you put him down. That's all I'd do for now.

colditz · 01/06/2012 18:14

Oh leave it, this really really really doesn't matter. In no time at all hell be informing you that you are the worst mummy in the world and, in fact, he hates you, so take the cuddles while he's happy to give them.

omama · 01/06/2012 20:51

Agree. While he is tiny, enjoy the snuggles. As he gets older he will become more alert & less likely to fall asleep during a feed. Then you can work on having him fall asleep by himself. And you already know the drill for how to settle him at naps. If the feeding becomes a bit of a problem then you use sssh/pat to help him settle on his own.

Enjoy your cuddle time!xx

clarejane · 02/06/2012 01:03

Yup - what everyone else says! 9 wks is far too little to worry about not feeding to sleep. Especially as he goes down awake for naps which is, frankly, amazing. At some point you can create a bit of a gap between boob and sleep by switching your bedtime routine but for us that happened when DS was much older. Also bear in mind that eventually BF'ing will stop being the magic 'off' button and enjoy it while it lasts! I'm a first time mum too and totally understand what its like to feel as if you 'should' be doing something differently. DS is 18 mos now and a good sleeper despite? because? we let him find his own way and didn't do anything too rigid until he was about a year - and even then it was just sending someone else in to settle him and nightwean. Obviously every babe is different but if you're getting 7-8hrs sleep at 9wks relax and enjoy :)

rollercoastercat · 02/06/2012 01:11

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rollercoastercat · 02/06/2012 01:12

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nannyl · 02/06/2012 09:23

well done

i have a 9m DD who is happy to self settle at anytime of the day except bed time... at bed time she falls asleep on my boob.... but she sleeps 12 hours and on the rare occasion she wakes she self settles after a cuddle so for now i am going with it....

my dd is more of a gina baby, not that it matters.

i figure i cant stop her falling asleep on my boob, and it creates stress for us both if i try, so not gonna try yet!

littlemissoops · 03/06/2012 19:04

Thank you all very much for the reassurance. It sounds like a gentle approach is the way to go- fingers crossed... And don't worry Colditz, I do enjoy the cuddles!

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