How should DH and I balance sleeping next week?

[HappyAsEyeAm]

We have 2 DCs, a 4 yo DS1 and a 5 week old DS2. DH took 2 weeks paternity leave when DS2 was born.

DS1 goes to bed really well at 7:15, and gets up between 6 and 7 am. He comes straight into our bedroom and gets into our bed and talks constantly!

DS2 is too little to have any routine, but he's formula fed, and feeds every 2-3 hours, day and night.

I am on maternity leave, and DH is off next week on holiday. Since he's been back at work, he has been sleeping in the spare room on weeknights, as he has been working exceptionally long hours (home most nights at around 11 pm, leaving the house at around 8 am). So I have been doing all the night feeds/winding/changing/settling. I have been able to go back to bed for a couple of hours in the afternoon though, which has helped me get through. Last weekend though, he did the night feeds on Friday and Saturday night whilst I slept in the spare room, and I took over from him at about 7 am. He then slept until about 11 am.

How should we balance it next week, to maximise our time doing things with both DSs in the day, and having some time to ourselves in the evening, all whilst being as rested as possible in the circumstances? Neither of us feels resentful - we're just trying to get through as well as possible, but I am trying to think what the best balance will be for us next week.

I would alternate days - so one of you is "on" 7pm-6am (or whenever ds1 gets up) and then goes back to bed til 10am or whenever. Then next night swap.

I've only one DD, so this might not apply. Can't imagine what it's like with 2!

What we did was, I went to bed really early (about 7.30pm) and my DH was "on duty" till about midnight when he came to bed. He did the 10pm feed. Then I was "on duty" but didn't really need to get up until about 3am if it was a quiet night. That meant that on a good night, I was asleep from about 8pm till 3am and he got to sleep from midnight till 7am. Any sleep I got after 3am was a bonus. My DD was a pretty good sleeper in the early days, but I found it hard to get back to sleep after 3am,but at least I was just lying resting.

I realise this doesn't leave you much time to yourself in the evening and you won't really see much of each other, but I preferred to sleep than do anything else. You might be a bit more capable than me!

Sorry! Just re read what you have written and your DH doesn't get home till late.
Ignore what I just said. That won't work.

Sorry!

Personally I wouldnt swap so that one goes back to bed as when we have holidays we usually want to go out and do things zoo park beach etc. I would just take it in turns every other night so each of us gets one really good sleep getting up at a normal ish time of 8-9 or whnever they wake so they can help the other out with whats left of the morning routine.

Only reason i say this is me and df used to split the night in half kind of i was bf so was up a bit more but we never managed to do anything when one of us was up at 10 as half the day would be over by the time we would be ready to go anywhere it was the winter so maybe slightly different.

Oh and in the early days afternoon naps saved both of us on the days we were too tired maybe you can alternate those too. Whoever has been up in the night get a nap.

Thanks for the responses. I think what we will do is to alternate, so we each take a turn doing the night shift until DS1 gets up. and then, as you say, Death, whoever has been up during the night gets a nap in the afternoon. As DH is on holiday next week, it makes it easier for me, and he wants to be able to spend quality time with both DSs, so its looking good.

Hope everyone is sleeping as best they can!

I think I'd be more tempted to do a shift system during the night itself as one of you having an afternoon nap is going to scupper the day up. How about if one of you is on duty until 5.00am and one of you after that? The one on the first shift stays up for the 11pm feed & goes to bed once that is done & then does the 2am feed and any other wakings until 5am but then gets to sleep in until 9am. The one of you on the second shift goes to bed early & sleeps until the 5am feed which you then do & any other wakings after that. You get up & go downstairs as soon as DC1 wakes up so that DC1 doesn't disturb the parent who was on the first shift. Of course these timings won't work perfectly but - hopefully - you get the idea.
If you're planning a day out, then whoever gets up with DC1 is responsible for getting everything ready so that you can get out - if you need to - as soon as the person who has slept until 9am has showered, had breakfast etc. Of course, if you don't trust DH to get things ready (I don't!), then you may need to do it the evening before.
Have a good week