Will it really pass?

[adewonder]

I'm stuck, and need to be told what to do. I've read too much and now I'm confused. Ds is nearly 6 months, and has never slept more than 2 hrs at night. For the first 2 months he would only sleep on me, but we've got to a point where he can sleep on his side of the bed away from me. I keep being told by family, friends, even dh, that I'm making 'a rod for my own back' by feeding to sleep, and having him sleeping with me. Cosleeping wasn't on purpose, its the only way I can get him to sleep at all.
I've been trying pantley pull off and no cry sleep method for the last month and a half, which hasn't changed anything so far. I keep thinking that I'd like to put a single mattress in his room, take out the cot, even though it was quite pricey, along with the stupid organic cot mattress that he won't sleep on. He seems to be far more comfortable if I'm in the room, which is fair enough.
If I feed to sleep through the night, will he stop eventually?
And will he sleep by himself someday?
If you did this how long did it take?
And how will I know that he doesn't need me in the room? (really don't want to be feeding to sleep when he's old enough to say thanks mum, but I'd rather play xbox by myself)
I'd so appreciate some direction, my brain is mush.

Oh, and apologies for length. It could have been longer - way too many doubts crowding my tiny befuddled brain.

Thought id say hi!

Fraid I have no answers, as but know exactly how you feel and can really relate to the 'too much information brain meltdown'!

They say everything's a phase and will pass. I do cling onto that - although I can't imagine my little boy ever getting to the stage where he will fall asleep and stay asleep until morning. It's so exhausting. This too shall pass...

Yes it will. I promise.

My DS was like this. Dd is too. When ds was 6.5 months he randomly started sleeping longer stretches, self settled and seemed easier. So I'm holding out that DD, who's 25 weeks, will do the same. She sleeps in with me but I put her in the cot at the start of the night.

My experience of the same is that it only changed because we intervened.
DS slept 20mins-90mins maximum intervals at 6months. We had also turned to co-sleeping and I fed/offered food at every waking because that's what he needed to get back to sleep but sadly it reinforced the whole thing and got worse.
We had to do controlled crying. Not something I was in favour of but desperately needed sleep. I decided that he could only feed every 2 1/2-3hrs (that felt safe as I know newborns could do gaps of that size) and eventually he learnt not to wake before that type of interval. Obviously not all the time, but by 8months that was the norm. He then stuck at 2-3hr intervals until we did CC again at 14 months to get him sleeping through.
It's different for everyone obviously. I wish DS would have responded to a gentler sleep method but he didn't and still doesn't (we had to do the whole thing again when he moved to a bed after a failed attempt at no-cry method). I did carry on feeding him to sleep/drowsiness when putting him down first time until 22months though which isn't recommended but was what I was comfortable with.
Getting a nights sleep at 14 months was literally the biggest change in my life since becoming a mum. I would definitely recommend sleep training of some sort. I got help from HV to give me courage/support - might be worth a go. I'd never let sleep problems go on so long with another DC.

Yes, it will. But if you want that to be soon you might need to intervene. My dd didn't sleep til she was 12 months and even then we gently intervened.

My D's is 7.5 months and was waking every 90 mins and feeding back to sleep. I went with the 'what worked for us'- Nectarina's thread when he was 6 months.

Within 5 days DS was sleeping 7pm til 1am ish uninterrupted.. From there he feeds every 2 hours and cosleeps from about 3, but I've rolled with that for now. Before long I'll apply the technique to 1am onwards..

I think you have to reach snap point to sleep train and be very determined and consistent. I think you have to do what fits and feels right for you, be that rolling with it or tackling it head on... With whatever method instinct tells you will work for you.

Hi OP, I tried all kinds of intervention. I can't say I'm through the other side yet but I ended up just going with the flow. One of the best things I did was to put a mattress on the floor in DD's (14mo) room and sleep in there with her during the working week. Meant DH got sleep during the week, making a calmer environment all round, and then I got sleep ins and afternoon naps on weekends (only possible since we only have 1 DC!) We happened to move DD's cot into our room because of visitors, and after a week of sleeping in the same room with us she has now slept through the night twice (miracle!) and we haven't had to bring her in our bed, if she wakes she just has a drink of water or a few calm words and she falls asleep again. It seems the proximity is enough to keep her calm. So just trying to say even if you do pretty much nothing in the end, I do think it gets better!

If you want to break the feeding to sleep perhaps your dp can take some time of work and he can focus on cuddling your ds to sleep rather than feeding to sleep? Co-sleeping is great, good for baby - nowt wrong with you having mattresses in the nursery instead etc.

Mattress in nursery from today. Thank you all for responses and hope.
I'm going to wait a month then try nectarina's method.
He got up at 4.30 this morning, so it can't get much worse, which I see as a good thing.
X

Hi Ade,

I put DD in her own room , but still no change . Last n

Night was rubbish . I'm very irritable and grumpy today . Hope you have a better night tonight .