My baby is broken and so am I :(

[brokenmummy]

Hello mumsnet.

I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions. My poor little DS (11 mo) has his leg in plaster and now I am mother to a bad sleeper turned worse.

We were all psyched up to tackle his sleep this bank holiday weekend with either CC or Nectarina's technique. After 11 months of sleep deprivation I decided I couldn't face him turning 1 without turning a corner.

Then he broke his leg. It's awful seeing him in pain. I feel so bad even being on here complaining about his sleep while he's up there with a broken leg. But I just can't give him the attention he deserves while I feel like this.

He now wakes every hour, crying. He's on calpol and supposedly the cast stops him hurting but it's heavy and hot, and he wasn't the best self settler anyway. Co sleeping is difficult for a number of reasons but we did end up doing that last night but it did mean someone sleeping on the floor.

Now I feel that I can't do any kind of sleep training until this cast is off - probably over a month. I just can't function with so little sleep, he needs to be fed or rocked back to sleep and more often than not he wakes as soon as he is lowered into his cot. DH is not able to help as he works insane hours and is more sleep deprived than I am, but for work reasons rather than DS.

Even if he didn't have a cast and I wanted to do CC, i don't see how it would be possible - he's learned to sit up from lying down but doesn't know how to lie down from sitting. And although he is perfectly capable of rolling around, for some reason (maybe sleeping bag?) he can't roll from tummy to back in his cot. So he just pushes up and arches his back and screams. Even though he likes sleeping on his tummy. Obviously now the cast is hindering his movement.

Over the months we have experienced every kind of sleep problem, but now we have them all - short naps, only fed or rocked to sleep, multiple night wakings, early evening wakings, early wake ups, overtiredness....

I guess I just wanted to offload. I not only feel terrible for him breaking his leg in the first place, but terrible for being frustrated with his sleep. I just want to cry thinking of him in pain and struggling with his leg. And I want to cry at the thought of another night with no sleep.

Have namechanged for this btw.

So where do I start?!

You poor thing and poor baby. I have no advice really as have no experience, my DD is only 5 months old. Does he sleep better when you co-sleep? I'm sure others will disagree (and I'm not a co-sleeper myself) but if co-sleeping gets you both more sleep at the moment, I'd shove a mattress on the floor in his room and do that till the cast comes off. And I'd worry about sleep training once it's off. Do whatever allows you and him to get more sleep and worry about the consequences later.

Sorry no advice but it sounds like a nightmare situation, I would just do what you can for the timebeing and worry about a sleep routine later. Sounds obvious but is there anyone who can help out even for you to get a few hours sleep in the middle of the day?

I know how guilty you feel about the broken leg, after weeks of falling of couches/rolling around with her sisters/ trying to climb out her cot and never getting the slightest bump my dd lost her footing walking over the carpet and fractured her leg!

That sounds like a total nightmare. I feel really bad for you all. No words of wisdom I'm afraid, but a big hug and virtual coffee!

God you poor thing I too had a bloody awful sleeper 2yrs of not much more than 2hrs sleep a night.

All I can suggest is and earplugs. I agree doing sleep traing when he's in a cast won't work but the good news is they heal super fast so he should be out if the cast quickly.

Good luck! Just think when he's 15 and wants to sleep 22hrs a day you can Hoover outside his bedroom at 6am.

Poor you there is nothing worse than sleep deprivation. My first was a difficult baby and didn't sleep through until he was 3. He had lots of ear infections which I think caused it plus we were first time parents and not very strict on the sleep training. When he was 18 months he had chicken pox and after 4 sleepless nights and holding down a city job, I came home from work and my in-laws (who had kindly looked after him for the day so I could go to work) said he had been great and slept all day. At the thought of another sleepless might I promptly burst into tears ! So I know how you feel.

Stay postive, you will get through it. In the short term, can you call on some friends or family to take him out in the pushchair for an hour or so during the day so you can have a cat nap. Could a family member or friend come and stay over to cover the night shift for you. Don't try to be a hero - pull in all the favours you can. People are usually happy to help if you ask them.

Pooryou! Poor poor baby.

I know you feel desperate. But you just need to get through this and then I am sure you can make it better.

I would definitely definitely co sleep for the time being. Get the maximum rest.

Do you have a sofa for your Dh?

Feed lying down and every hour. And get what rest you can.

My son was a terrible sleeper til one and very unwell a lot and I think when they are ill you just need to do what you need to do to make the baby as comforted as possible and don't worry about the future

Good luck

Thanks everyone. I know you are all right, and my instincts say the same thing. He will be in my bed whenever he needs me and I will enjoy all the cuddles I get :)

Don't have any local family but I'm sure I can get an hour or so here and there, I'll ask some friends if they can take him for the odd walk. He definitely needs some fresh air! I'm hoping some family wil come to the rescue asap!

He's such an angel. I feel so sorry for him. I just wish I'd banked up enough sleep to be able to deal with this better.

DH is in the spare room but if we have family to stay and help then someone needs to sleep on the floor/sofa. Our bed is too small to co-sleep the 3 of us. The main problem with nights is that only I seem to be able to cut it. He has become dependent on boob to sleep (never before!) and quite frankly, who blames him for wanting the person he knows best of all when he's feeling so crap. DH can rock him to sleep, but like I said that's not always an option. He doesn't know any GPs well enough to let them comfort him at night.

I will survive! Thanks for all your support! I needed to be told to just do what it takes because I spent half my life before this obsessing about getting a decent routine and good sleep habits! (not that it worked...)

Do what it takes :)

All bets are completely off when they're ill or hurting.

Do you have a blow-up mattress that DP can sleep on? they are fab and have got us through many a year month of sleep issues.

Oh god - do whatever it takes. I'd just latch him on while you doze.

So been there. My son was unwell a lot and at one point I was 6 months preg with current non aleeping baby and my son had scarlet fever and woke hourly for a week. I slept on his floor. That was a low point! Just trying to say this is normal and won't be the last time you do night nursing. I actually think it's v bonding! But I have done loads!

Sleep is around the corner!

Good good luck. Enjoy soothing yr baby who needs you.

I'm not sure Calpol is adequate pain relief for a fracture. I found junior nurofen better when my son broke his collar bone and you can use both together to help avoid break through pain (ie when pain relief doesn't work for as long as the time between doses). I would talk to your GP- possibly he could have something slightly sedating if you explain how often he is waking and how you feel.

His pain should settle down soon as the fracture starts to unite- he won't be like this all the time he's in plaster hopefully.

he may need strongermeds - see dr