How long does it take your lo to go to sleep?

[Smee]

DS is 21mths. We do a nice gentle bedtime routine - tea, gentle play, bath, stories, etc. Put him in his cot by 7.30pm and he's happy to be there and very obviously tired, but then it can take up to two hours for him to drop off - never less than forty minutes. (Think bouncing, talking to bears, rolling around, nattering to himself..)

Once asleep, he then wakes on average once a night, but sometimes (rarely!) sleeps through. He sleeps for 11/12 hours though, which is good. Still sleeps during the day, but only for 40 minutes and never later than 2pm. Am baffled - he's so obviously tired, but just won't seem to settle. Has anyone else had this?

Is he tired the next day? Do you have to stay there with him? I suppose what I mean is- is its a problem?

My DS is 16 mo, we take about an hour to get him to bed including milk, bath, crazy running around for 20 minutes (seems to have a need to unwind), story or two then into cot and conks out, waving night-night, in minutes.

The up to two hours is from when he's in his cot! He's always had sleep problems - believe me, the once nightly wakings actually feel like a treat .

We used to stay with him, but now are mid-slowly backing out. Trouble is it totally disrupts our evenings because after you've been gone for a bit he calls until we go back. If we don't go back he gets hysterical and it takes even longer. Maybe we're part of the problem, but we don't talk or play with him. Just pat him on the back and lay him back down, then slip out again.

And next day, nope, not tired - about once a week he seems to be and then might have a longer daytime nap. But then again past few weeks he's skipped his daytime nap, so who knows..

DD is 2 and takes up to a hour to go to sleep and has to have dh or me with her until she is asleep.

Doesn't it drive you mad, Marne? I love DS to bits, but just so want him to be asleep by that time.

well, mine wakes up at least once every night too, and usually ends up in our bed

he used to muck about for ages and need constant patting, but we just got tough and decided to let him cry. after about three or four days, he got used to it and settled himself. i think letting him run around naked and go a bit bonkers for a while helps too.

we're planning on trying letting him cry in the night, but haven't got quite desperate enough yet.

I'm too soft to let him cry, though the backing out the door involved me standing outside and just saying "You're fine" over and over until he got the message. We got there in the end.
He does settle himself during hte night - I can hear him awake and muttering and sorting himself. Just that about once a night he's too hot (still in sleeping bag) or too cold or some other viable reason that we need to help him with. still - GRRRR. A whole night's sleep sometimes feels like an improbably dream..

Yes it drives me mad, she wakes in the night as well and trys to get in bed with me, i'm 36 weeks pg so its hard to drag myself out of bed to take her back to her room.

Oh my - big respect to you. At 36 weeks, I don't know how you cope. I seem to remember finding it hard to get up once I'd got down..

Goes to sleep straight off now since dropping her daytime nap over Christmas (2.5 yrs) was a nightmare the first time in her bed - rearranged the stikarounds on the wall for 2 hours but now has settled - only wakes in night when loses her dolly!

Mind you have worked for this - when 4 months old had a month of waking every 45 mins throughout the night!

It takes ds up to an hour or more to drop off and I also stay with him until he does. He is nearly 3. Some nights I find it hard, especially when I know he is tired and feel that he "should" be dropping off quickly. Who knows what the problem is, or if there is a problem in fact? I am sticking it out for the moment. You might find the No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers useful if you feel like making changes.

If I were you Smee and he was sleeping 11 or 12 hours I would change his schedule so he was going to bed a lot earlier, by getting him up a bit earlier each morning until he was going to bed at 6.30 pm instead. Then hopefully your evening could begin at say 7.30 or 8.30 pm and he still wouldn't be up before 7 am or so. At the moment I presume he is sleeping in till about 8 am, am I right?

Hope this helps, but you are certainly not alone and as long as you are happy with your routine then try not to worry about what anyone else does or how much sleep he "should" be getting.

Yes, he does usually sleep until 8-ish but I do quite like that - you're right though, I have thought about putting him to bed earlier, but on the odd occasion that we've tried it it just takes him even longer to get to sleep..!

• then just to keep me on my toes there's his delightful unpredictable side, which means that this morning he woke at 5.30am. I told him that was against the law and tantamount to cruelty, but he just laughed (sob). I suppose he is only one..

• RedRidingHood - well yes, nap dropping should work. Glad it does for you. I think DS is just plain strange. He's in the process of dropping his nap - didn't at all yesterday for eg and still took over an hour to get to sleep

Ah Smee we were also up at the delightful hour of 5.30 this morning. What a joy it is to hear their little dulcet tones at that time

I know, it's so uplifting being up when it's dark and cold and they're filling their nappy and it starts leaking out the sides..

We also like to let our neighbours share in our joy, so we let him sing and play the drum very loudly as well.