My toddler seems to need less sleep than me....

[Puffykins]

Up until a month ago, my 21 month old DS slept 7.30 to 7, with a two hour nap in the middle of the day. We're now struggling to get him to sleep by 8.30, and he's up at about 5.30 - the nap still stands. What's more, whereas we used to be able to put him in a cot and he'd look at a book until he went to sleep, he now wants me sitting next to him again until he falls asleep. I'm 35 weeks pregnant, and this is killing me.... His room is dark (though chinks of light get through), he has plenty of exercise during the day (which seems to exhaust me more than him) we have a proper bed time routine (bath, milk, songs, bed) and yet, and yet.... Please help! Any ideas welcome! (I think he's too young for a grow clock, incidentally).

The nap is probably too long, I 'don't reduce to an hour and see if that helps.

I'd not I'don't !

We dropped all napping at 24 mths (coinciding with the arrival of sibling), its worth seeing what happens if there is less daytime sleep.

Also, and a short term measure, can you go to bed earlier - he is doing 9 hrs overnight, can you make the most of it, and do jobs while he is awake? Yes, is scuppers grownup time, but its the only way I've found to make 5.30 do-able.

I went to bed literally straight after him last night. I was so hoping that there would be an answer other than dropping the day time nap. I'm freelance, and work from home, and that is when I do it... As for doing jobs while he's awake - I try: some housework is okay, but I certainly can't work, and I've got one more project to complete before the new baby arrives. All this has (typically) coincided with DH having to work very long hours, and weekends. The one day we had all together yesterday ended up with me in hospital being monitored because i started bleeding. I've been told to rest as much as possible, but am just not sure how that is going to happen.... How, and why, did I think combing pregnancy and a toddler was a good idea?!

You can put him to bed later and reduce his nap. He's nearly two.

Because, and we're about a year ahead of you, with a slightly bigger gap (24 mths) they will soon be the best of friends. The adoration between my to is lovely to see, even if toddler is a chronically bad sleeper, and now we've managed to get him ti sleep til 6, his little brother sleeps through, and gets up about 5....

Just think, we're compressing the pain, rather than getting used to no nappies, and full nights, and then starting again with night feeds.

Does your toddler go to any daycare - nursery or childminder? Could you up your hours for a few weeks? Or have you any family/friends that you could ask for a couple of hours of babysitting while you sleep / work?

I feel your pain! My 23 month old has just about dropped the daytime nap and does last til around 6/ 6.30 now, which is a bit better. If anything needs to be done urgently in the day, I now resort to cbeebies. There's no other way to get things done!

Sounds like you might need to rest up and start your maternity leave a few weeks early though? Good luck with it all.

Thank you for all your suggestions. Looks like the day time nap is going to have to go. Sadly starting maternity leave early isn't a possibility as I'm self-employed and HAVE to complete this final project, and no I have no childcare.... I guess it's time to find some. We're in central London though, so it is extortionately expensive.....

I wouldn't drop the nap all together, just reduce it to an hour. Otherwise you are going to have a very cranky toddler by 4pm, who you then have to spend the next 3 hours gently eeeking them out till bed time, or you will end up having to put him to bed at 6pm.

Plus once you have the new baby you will NEED that hour for YOUR nap in the day!

I have 23 months between my 2, and my DS1 was still having naps until he was about 4!

Def agree on reducing the nap. My DD was on 1 hr by 20 months (reduced slowly from 2 hrs before that) and it was all but gone by her 2nd birthday. You do get used to it incredibly quickly. I wouldn't cut it out immediately, too much too soon can cause overtiredness which can be more disruptive to nighttime sleep. Try reducing to 1.30 first, then 1 hr over a week or so. He may actually only need a cut in the nap, rather than losing it altogether.

Agree re the nap capping. However you should also consider the timing of the nap. What time does he usually take his nap?

My DS recently went from waking at 7am, napping 12.30-2.30 & bed 7.30pm to taking until 8pm to fall asleep & waking at 6am. What I found that helped was to push his nap later to 1/1.15pm, give him a slightly later bedtime of 8pm & I only had to cap the nap 15mins shorter. So for the last month he has been doing wake 7.15am, nap 1.15-3.00, bed 8pm STTN.

What I am trying to say is that by extending his morning a little, we have been able to keep the nap for longer. So something definitely worth considering.

Now at 21.5months, he has started taking a wee while to settle again & has been waking earlier so I'm cutting the nap back to 1.5hrs & will reduce it to 1hr if necessary. I expect it to be no more than 1hr by the time he reaches age 2.

HTH.x

Just be wary of keeping the nap for too long. My DD is 2.7, had 20 mins yesterday (hardly ever takes a nap now) and it took us till 9pm to get her to bed last night as she was clearly wide awake! I'm not suggesting all children's sleep needs are the same - far from it - but I have finally got my head round the fact that my DD is massively affected by naps in the day.

DD1 pretty much dropped her naps at 19months unless we were out in the car. Now if she even has 5 mins in the car she gets up early or won't go down (26 months).

IMO you get naps or evenings at this age not both!

You will also survive without a nap with baby and toddler. DD2 is 13 weeks and there is 23 months between the two and I'm still standing (just!).

Okay, so, weirdly, everything has gone back to normal. I woke him from his nap a couple of times after an hour and a half; NOT fun, very cross toddler, so decided to give up on that and let him sleep for as long as he needs to (approx two hours). Meanwhile he's gone back to being asleep by eight and waking at about seven. Maybe it was just an odd month? Thank you all for your help and suggestions though -,I'll know what to try next time!