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Please help - my baby has lost the plot

16 replies

hester · 19/02/2006 20:08

My baby is nearly 18 weeks old, and for the last three has been waking constantly in the night. She sleeps in 40 minute cycles, and at the end of each she wakes and can only be soothed by being put to the breast or taken into bed with us.

She goes down at 6.30-7 each night, and gets up at 8am, but will not sleep for longer than 40 minutes at a time. She has four naps in the day, but these are now only 40 minutes long as well.

Before the last three weeks she wasn't exactly a great sleeper - she would wake every three hours for feeds - but I felt I could cope with that. Now both she and I are exhausted all day and I feel I am reaching the end of my tether.

She switched from moses basket to cot at around the start of this - though thinking back I'm pretty certain the disturbance started before the move. But maybe being in a big empty cot is exacerbating her longing for the cosiness of arms or co-sleeping.

On the health visitor's advice, I started by tackling the daytime naps. She will often self-settle for those, though not once she wakes up again. In the night, I cannot get her to self-settle. I pat her and say something soothing. this never works so I then pick her up and rock her till she calms, but try to put her down before she is asleep. This sometimes works before midnight, but after that she goes beserk until I feed her.

What should I try? Give her a bottle or some babyrice at night? Controlled crying? Simply refuse to give her the breast? I am now so tired I have lost the ability to think clearly, so any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mummytosteven · 19/02/2006 20:09

I doubt bottles/baby rice will make much difference. What about seeing if she feels more secure if you put the moses basket in the cot? Or if you put her to bed a little later?

jabberwocky · 19/02/2006 20:10

She may be going through a growth spurt. If I am remembering correctly that's about the age where ds just wanted to eat all the time. Can you express some bm for your dh to give her at night at least once or twice? I personally think she is a little young for cc adn absolutely too young for rice.

hester · 19/02/2006 20:15

So would you suggest I forget trying to train her out of it, at least for now, feed her loads and give her lots of reassurance and cuddles?

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hester · 19/02/2006 20:16

I should add: she does seem to be growing very fast (has moved from 40th centile at birth to 75th now, and is very tall) but her feeds are very short, so I was assuming she wasn't really hungry, just comfort-seeking.

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purplemonkeydishwasher · 19/02/2006 20:19

My DS is going through the same thing (for the last 2 - 3 months...) and I just have him in bed with me. I'm still not getting lots of sleep, but at least I'm getting some. And often we both fall asleep while he feeds. Some nights (the really good ones) he goes 3 whole hours without fussing, you wouldn't believe how fabulous I feel the next day after those 3 hours!!!

purplemonkeydishwasher · 19/02/2006 20:21

He's 21wks BTW and still exclusively BF, from what I hear from other moms giving babyrice doesn't mean baby is going to be a better sleeper.

jabberwocky · 19/02/2006 20:22

She may not be getting enough hind milk if she is doing really short feeds and that could be exacerbating things. Try doing some gentle breast compression about midway during the feed to get some of the richer milk to her and that may satisfy her longer. Also, if you think she is using the breast more for comfort than for feeding would you feel comfortable giving her a pacifier?

Oh, and another thought, at this age could she be teething?

purplemonkeydishwasher · 19/02/2006 20:24

OUt of curiosity jabberwocky - if she is teething what can be done during the night? My DS just got his first 2 teeth last week. Calpol doens't help.

hester · 19/02/2006 20:33

Ah, hind milk - that makes a lot of sense. How can I get her to feed for longer? And how do I do breast compression - just give it a squeeze?

I feel fine about pacifiers but sadly dd doesn't - she much prefers the warm, living, breathing pacifier that is her mummy

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indamb · 19/02/2006 20:41

did your daughter like being snug in the mosses basket.

my ds very siimilar with sleep when i moved him into his cot(he would sleep for about 4 hours and then be fidgety until i put him in bed with me)
he likes to be wrapped, then i have to put rolled up towels on top of the blanket to make him real snug, (i only use 1 sheet and 1 blanket to avoid overheating).

this took weeks to sort out, just trying different things to see what worked best.

he is now 16 weeks and a little dream.

good luck, i'm sure you will sort it out.

jabberwocky · 19/02/2006 20:42

Teething is a tough one. Ds was relatively easy, so it's hard for me to advise. A cold cloth to chew helps some babies. He liked to chew on pacifiers and at one point I had about 7 in his bed at night so that he could always find one!

With breast compression you do just apply gentle constant pressure. We talked about it on the expressing clique thread. Will get you a link.

I have to dash for a bit, sorry to abandon the thread, but will check back in as soon as I can.

busybaby · 19/02/2006 20:52

Have you tried a 'sleeping bag' for cosiness? My 19 week old sleeps well at night in one, although we have just had a couple of weeks where she was very disturbed compared to usual - whether it's teething or just her age I don't know (other threads seem to suggest it's quite common to develop sleep problems around this age).
Incidentally she only sleeps for 30 minutes at a time in the day - sometimes only twice a day!

ponto · 19/02/2006 20:57

Hi Hester, my dd is the same age and also wakes after 40 mins unless she is wrapped so that she can't move her arms, otherwise she beats herself about the head and screams!

To achieve the arm restraint I lie her on a muslin diagonally, put her arms by her sides then bring a corner of the muslin over her arm and tuck it behind her back so she can't wriggle free. Sounds barbaric but she absolutely loves it and calms down and goes off to sleep for 3-4 hours at a time overnight. I put her inside a lightweight sleeping bag and tuck a light blanket over the top too (her room is quite cold) and she doesn't seem to overheat.

HTH, Ponto

hester · 19/02/2006 21:02

Some great ideas here - and sooo reassuring to hear that others have gone through the same (I have been feeling like the most failed mother in the world) - thanks so much, everyone.

She actually hated the moses basket as well, and being swaddled, and kicks off all blankets with great venom, so I have had her in a grobag for a while. Maybe I need to find a way to make the cot cosier without making her feel too confined - rolled blankets either side of her or something (though how to do that without risking SIDS I'll have to think through.

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CorrieDale · 20/02/2006 09:11

This is also a bad age for sleeping. My DS (like soooo many others) suddenly became the world's worst sleeper at 17 weeks. It seems to be a developmental thing. There are quite a few threads about it - "sleepless in newcastle" being a very good one. With us, it lasted until DS was 23 weeks when his sleep suddenly started to improve, for no apparent reason! Solids at 26 weeks just made it worse again BTW!

jabberwocky · 22/02/2006 02:59

Any better, hester?

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