PLEASE HELP A YEAR ON IM BREAKING

[Crystal0769]

I have a ds (3rd child) who is 1yr old an I'm at breaking point. He sleeps from 7.30-10pm that it. It has 1-2 20 minutes cat naps in day. We have been back and forth to doctors and consultants, they won't do anything cos he is "healthy". I have had this for 12 month he had done it since birth. I don't know what else to do, they won't intervene until he is at school age when he needs the sleep to help his brain function etc. I can't go on till then. People around me say they understand and how I must be super mum juggling two other children and him offer to help but don't follow through. This past 7 days I managed 6 hours sleep. My body just can't take anymore. Hubby works. I'm not allowed back to work doctor signed me off " unfit " but won't help???!!! Offered me sleeping pills which don't work just make me drowsy cos I'm still up and body rested but wants to sleep and can't. Anybody experienced anything like this or has any advice??? I'm a mum of 3 so please don't be like the HV and ask if I'm going in at every whimper etc :-( I'm truly not. 1st on here please help.

Thank you xxx

Can he go in with you? Needs must and all that...

Hi we have tried that he is wide awake not sleepy that's the problem
He seems to survive off 3-4 hours. :-( x

DD2 is 1 year and a crappy sleeper (was up 5 times last night) but nothing like this. Are you bf-ing at night? If not, could he go and stay with a grandparent or something overnight just to give you a break? That won't solve the problem but might let you get some rest. Otherwise can you afford a sleep clinic? Millpond or something like that?

Can you get a sleep consultant in? Friends of mine did it here (although nothing like as severe as you) and it only cost £50 and they had brilliant results. It's got to be worth a punt if you can afford it. I feel so sorry for you, it sounds utterly hideous.

Other than that have you tried keeping him up in the evening and then putting him to bed at 10pm for a while to see what that brings? I would never normally suggest that as it would lead to over-tiredness and worse sleeping but frankly, it sounds like it's as bad as it can get at the moment.

The other thing that really might be worth trying, and this might sound totally barking but again, what have you got to lose, is going back to swaddling. Our neighbour is an occupational therapist who specializes in children and particularly sleep. When I was having issues with DD she suggested going back to swaddling. I was very skeptical but said she'd done it with a 6 year old who had never slept more than 3 hours. They put him in one of those cocoon sleeping bags which keeps your arms in and he slept 6 hours straight off - which doesn't sound much but is a hell of a lot better than 3 hours. FWIW it worked with DD although she was only 6 months at the time.

I really wish you every success in this.

Hi thank you for posting!!! We have tried swaddling but cos he is " bright eyed bushy tailed" it's a very resistant no :-( we have taken him
To sleep consultant who said because he is healthy they would oh interven age 4-5 with sedatives. That in my eyes is a big NO however I'm
At breaking point and will try anything within reason of not dangering him. I'm not breast feeding anymore. He was breast fed for the first 5 month every two hours!! Very demanding. He won't took any sort of milk now. He don't wake for feed sometimes he may "clack" for water but otherwise he just wide awake. We have got to as late as 8.30ish with him before he screaming to be in bed but then goes his 3-4 hours. My hubby finished work early today and took him back to doctors who have said back to consultant referral ASAP next step mild small dose sedatives 😳 xxx

My son is just like this dr s did a load of tests but he's fine he just doesn't need sleep! He is now 4 and will have a very active day-he has never napped during the day-sleep from 10pm til 2 wake play then from maybe 3-5am. Now he's older it's easier I have sort of adapted. In the end decided that we co sleep it's the only way j get any rest I have him lie between me and the wall and he can reach his books if he wants to read. The drs offered to sedate him so i can sleep but I refused-only my opinion you need to do what's best for u. He is always happy just never tired, these days he is a bit as to why I need sleep but understands about needing to be quiet and I wake the second he does anyway just lie lightly dozing I guess. In my case i just adapted i think? Do you have anyone who can take over for a evening so you can get a good few hours? I really feel for you sorry if none of that is of any use, I just didn't want u to feel like I were the only one.

Hi thanks for posting, no every either doesnt have room or have children. I adapted for 12 month and have survived on 6 hours in 7 days before but I have just hit a complete wall and my body and mind not itself. I'm collapsing cos my muscles ain't rested. I'm constantly run down so catching everything, strangely gaining excess weight which is worrying! Glad to know I'm not the only one suffering as bad as this. Hope your all ok. Xxx

Oh love I'm sorry I don't know what to suggest only to say I've been there I hit my wall when ds was about 18 months so exhausted I hallucinated. Take care of yourself

I will thank you, its nice just to talk to someone who understand it! Are u in England? :) xxx

oh gosh hun you poor thing you sound exhausted.

I have a few questions if that's ok:

where does he sleep?

are you co-sleeping?

can he fall asleep independently at bedtime i.e. you lay him down, drowsy but awake & he goes to sleep, or does he need your help in order to fall asleep i.e. rocking/cuddling/etc?
what happens when he wakes in the night - does he full on scream right away? or does he lay & play? how soon do you go to him? and if he is just playing do you leave him to it & go back to bed yourself?

Has he ever had an established & regular nap routine?

when does he nap & where i.e. pushchair/cot/car/on floor?

He is surviving on so very little sleep it sounds like he could be completely 'wired'. I wonder if you could get a regular routine established with a single nap around lunchtime if he might just start taking some sleep. The more sleep he gets, the more he will need (sleep begets sleep) & you may find that his nights suddenly start to improve. This may well be easier said than done, so if you can post answers to my Q's we'll see if we can come up with a plan.

((hugs))

Hi yes I am in England, the east. Ds has been out all day since 7am this morning awake since 5 am and still playing in the garden! I don't know how they do it! How's your day been?

oh wow crystal and mama I don't know how you do it.

I find it utterly ludicrous that no-one medical will help you. This is surely NOT normal and there must be a reason - e.g., sleep disorder. I am really glad you have got a referral to a consultant, but it is wrong you have had to fight so hard for it.

I think if he would wear it I would put your DS in his cot and just let him play with his toys. Does he let you do that and leave him without making lots of noise? Maybe you could snatch a few hours sleep this way.

Failing this, I would investigate childcare options. How are you fixed money-wise? Could you afford a night-nanny once in a while? They come to your house and look after your child all night. They cost about £70 ish in London.

Sorry for not responding I'm not too good at minute very run down :( I will try answer all questions ASAP xx

I am not surprised you're run down. I had a baby with ishoos too and I went absolutely nuts.

Here's a [[[hug]] for you.

Aww thanks so much :-) us mums are pushed to our limits aren't we!! My throat is starting to ease so voice coming back finally. Just eagerly awaiting postman for consultants letter! Xxx