At wit's end: 9 month old sleep getting worse

[vvviola]

DD2 was a great sleeper. Was going midnight to 7 at nine weeks. Did 10 to 7 with one wake up at 4 months. We successfully battled jet lag at 5 months.

Then, a week after we started solids at 6 months she started waking every 2 hours. She would feed & settle easily enough. It has been going on since then, but in the last week it has got even worse. She's waking every hour, falling asleep in my arms and then waking screaming as soon as I put her down.

I'm exhausted. Last night I only managed sleep between 10:30 & 11:30 and 4:30 & 6:30. Other than that it was 10 minute bursts here and there.

I can't do any sort of CC (it's not my style and also DD is in with us and we're planning to move her to share with DD1 at the weekend - so it would mean disturbing DD1 and/or DH too). Does anyone have any suggestions? I just need some sleep...

No advice but plenty of sympathy. I had a thread on here earlier in the year when I was going out of my mind with exhaustion and other MNetters had some brilliant advice & support.

KBO and remember that this too shall pass.

(And someone useful will be along in a minute...)

I was thoroughly against doing controlled crying & it took me until he was 2 1/2 to realise I had no choice , After him not sleeping through (waking every hour) not even once since he were born & it may take a few days or so but it really does work & I wish I had done it a lot sooner :)

Thanks DMCWelshCakes. At least I know I'm not alone in this. I just can't see the end to it right now.

Xannii - CC just isn't an option for me (at this age anyway. At toddler age perhaps). Tried once with DD1 - she got so worked up she vommitted & I got so upset by the whole thing I nearly got sick too.

And DH can't be disturbed much more at night (his job needs a fair amount of concentration - and at least when he's partly rested he can take over at weekends to let me get some sleep). DD1 is a heavier sleeper, but without a decent night's sleep she's a nightmare, so I don't want to disturb her either.

Which means some kind of solution that doesn't involve just leaving DD2 to cry.

Is it the breastfeeding? Is that what she wakes for?

My dd was like this around 6 months(after being fab) - waking hourly - and I have to say the no cry book explanation that they wake expecting the nipple in their mouth at every light sleep is true. It was for me.

I now am feeding to sleep and rocking or feeding at night but it is 2/3 times a night now which I can just about manage..... I do want to improve things but there's always a reason to postpone it (colds, teeth, holidays, routine changes)

The no cry sleep solution might help.

Tertius - yes, I think that's what it is now. I think teething & getting used to solids started the trouble and now it's habit.

I must look at the no cry sleep solution again. I had started to work on breaking the feed-to-sleep association when she first went to sleep - but I've been so tired the past few weeks that I couldn't keep it up.

Last two nights though, there's been the added complication that she'll fall asleep in my arms being rocked - but wakes the second I try to put her down.

I start back at university in less than 2 months (oh god, suddenly that seems really close!) and there is no way I'll be able to concentrate in this amount of sleep

Please try and get some help with this from your health visitor or gp. I know you don't want any crying to wake the rest of the family but you are doing a responsible job too and it's not going to be sustainable on so little sleep.

Yes I think there will be some crying unless she takes a dummy?

I managed to settle my dd in her cot with White noise and rocking it / her and that broke the hourly waking in one or two nights, she nber cried for more than ten minutes and I was patting rocking etc all the time. It was tiring to do though.

But I have constant setbacks with teething or illnesses or her changes in her sleep needs. She is like a moving target!

I always fed if it was 3 hourly at tht stage. Now I feed my dd around one and four.

Puddlet - the plunket nurse (NZ equivalent of health visitor I think) has referred me to 'sleep clinic' which seems to consist of watching a video on 'pick up/put down'. That's not til 7th June though. The plunket nurse has been very kind & supportive but I'd already worked my way through a lot of her suggestions.

DH & I spoke briefly about it this evening. I'm going to start some of the ideas from NCSS tomorrow & we're kicking around ways of keeping disturbance to DD1 to a minimum once we move DD2 into her room (probably putting her in our bed on bad nights and hoping that her bed can support my weight!!)

Wish me luck. I suspect it will get a lot worse before it gets better!

I'm sure she will learn very fast.

And it will probably take only a little to get it to a manageable stage for you.

Rule out teething though as my 9 month dd is definitely suffering with teeth.

Very Good luck.

My dd definitely has separation anxiety at 9.5 months, the last two weeks have been really tough. Waking at random times that she wouldn't normally, screaming as in pain until I pick her up and generally being very miserable. Not like her at all and basically attached to me constantly if I'm in the room.

I'm hoping it is a phase and she'll come through it soon. She's also breastfed but that is the one thing that is calming her at the minute.

I'm sticking to her night time 'pattern' (dislike the word routine), so we are doing bath, milk, pj's on, then put in cot and read same 5 stories whilst she crawls or stands up in cot, then, for the last story she's then given her dummy and told sleepy time now and laid down, we have a little music box which we've played every night from birth, that then goes on and is a sleeping cue for her. Every time she goes to stand up, I lie her down. There is a bit of a fight but not much as the days have gone on and she eventually knows shes tired and rolls over goes to sleep.

Sending you lots of strength op. Do consider separation anxiety at this age.

Slightly better night last night - she woke every 2 hours but settled easily afterwards. So I'm not quite as tired today.

Oh hell. Things just got 100 times more difficult.

DH & I have an event on the 9th June. MIL (who is lovely but not hugely experienced with babies) has very kindly offered to watch DDs. I thought it was in the afternoon. But discovered today that it is at 7:30 - which means we'll be leaving around 6:00 - just before bedtime. So MIL will have to handle bedtime with DD2 waking constantly only settling with bf & won't take a bottle.

I have 2 weeks to sort this. I think I may have to cancel

I feel for you. My DS went through this a but ago when he was 5/6 months. For the event thingy - don't cancel. My mum shoved me and my DH out of the door for an evening out together. My LO wouldn't take a bottle either, however I left some expressed milk in a bottle and gradually he got through it and went to sleep. We had a lovely couple hours out, felt like my right arm had been chopped off, but it was nice for us both. Now my DS still doesn't like a bottle at 7.5 months, but I made the hole in the bottle slightly bigger and he wolfs it down.
For the sleep - I recently stopped feeding him every time he wakes during the night. I realised it was a comfort thing as sometimes he would sleep 12 hours, and now we get much more sleep. I pick him up not saying a word, put a dummy in and two minutes later he is back down in his cot and I'm in bed. I only feed him after about 6 hours. He then pops off for another 4. He is in his own room and has been since he was 4 weeks old.
Good luck with everything and enjoy your night out.
BTW you're lucky your LO chases you around the bed, mine tries to shove me out

Mich100 - I decided to limit feedings last night. Not quite as ambitious as 6 hours though!! Went with only feeding once 2 hours had passed. Lots of wake ups, especially early evening, but managed to keep 2 hours between feeds and she slept 3 hours straight at one stage. So it's progress.

Moving her out of our room tonight (DH's snoring was definitely a factor last night at least ).

Keep your fingers crossed.

Just be mindful of limiting feeds in this heat at night (assuming your are in the uk), dd has breastfed little and often the last 36 hours just because it's warm and she's thirsty.

Hope the move goes well

Sorry if you've already looked at this but is your DD getting enough protein? One of my friends found that increasing protein reduced night wakings a bit at a similar age to your DD

Ceebeevee - she's not getting a lot of protein (and we may have a dairy issue now too, to complicate things). I'll have a look and seen if I can increase her protein and see if it makes a difference.

Thanks! All ideas are great

Move got cancelled last night - she seemed to have some reaction to something yesterday and was grumpy, congested, had red-rimmed eyes, so I decided to keep her in with us.

She's in good form today, so we may try again.

(oh, and not in the UK ... heading for winter here, so cool & damp )

Hi Vvviola

I more or less wrote the same post (didn't know there was a dedicated sleep topic.) www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1463800-Sleep-problems-9-MO-Dont-want-to-cry-it-out-but-health-visitor-says-do-it

There are quite a few of us with similar issues. I was at wits end last week. Tried no cry sleep solution and whilst some ideas helpful, not a 'solution'. I did 1 night of PUPD last week but was just too exhausted to continue on Friday BUT it could be fluke with hot weather but last 2 nights been much better. He's nearer 10 months than 9 now. His sleep got worse at 6 months and was waking hourly again by 9 months but seems to be getting bit better again. Don't want to jinx it as could just be a fluke but just wanted to say you're not alone. Everyone on MN been so supportive to me. Helps just to know there are others who really KNOW what you are going through.

Time he stirs. I'm not sure what to do about it. Not going to do cc, but going back to work in two weeks so could do with a bit more sleep.
So anyway, I don't have solutions, but definitely feel your pain.

Sorry the first half of my message has disappeared. Was saying that my nearly nine month old is very similar. Feeds to sleep and wakes frequently sometimes every 40 mins, 2 or 3 hours max. We co sleep once I've gone to bed and he wants to sleep in my arms or across me. He wakes much more often when I lay him back on the bed. I know he feeds for comfort and wants it to soothe himself back to sleep every time he stirs.

Hi, I was about to start my own thread about exactly the same problem ut I have had a read on here and there are so many similar babies by the sound of it.
My dd is 6 months old, She has always co slept and is breast fed. she has been on solids for about a month but slowly and gently.

I havent had more than 2-3 hours sleep in a row since she was born. I am constantly tired as DD is waking for my boob sometimes every 45 min/2 hours. I have realised now that this is the 45 min sleep cycle and because she fell asleep with my boob in her mouth, thats how she needs to get back to sleep so i being at my wits end decided to do some sleep training.

i can not bear my baby to cry so was looking for a miracle gentle approach.

I have put a few threads on here about her sleeping issues!! Ive had answers such as o its the 4 month sleep regression, feed more frequently in the day, do controlled crying, do gradual retreat, do the no crying solution etc. well, I feed her LOTS in the day, I tried the pick up.put down method as suggested by tracy hogg but this winds my baby up and she gets more distressed.

so, i paid for the sleep sense programme by dana obleman and we tried this basically gradual retreat, we did dd's bedtime routine, fed her ,put her down awake and she cried for 45 minutes but we stayed with her the whole time and when she seemed dry throated from all the screaming we gave her a drink of water from a sippy cup and she did fall asleep and stayed asleep for 5 hours. when she woke i fed her and she woke again at530 i just ignored her and within 10 minutes she fell asleep by herself until 730am! this was probably the best night we ever had.
the next night i couldnt keep her awake to put her down awake so the third night she cried for over an hour. this cry was like she was being tortured, she was dripping with sweat, i was with her or my partner was with her the whole time and we gave her sips of water as she was so distressed and after about 90 minutes she fell asleep and was still sobbing in her sleep for an hour. I was totally distressed myself after that experience that we had a big row and then decided not to carry on with sleep training because i began to dread sleep times and was so miserable and couldnt bear to see dd crying and sweating like that (we had done everything to help like take clothes off, put a fan on, give water, hold her hand but she went totally over the top upset).
i do think if we hadnt had that slip up on the 2nd crucial night things may have gone easier as i do think that for the iron willed mums this method would work.

so now we are back to waking every 45mins/2 hours totally boob reliant. i do try to wait longer when she wakes in the night because occassionally she will self settle (i mean like once every 2 days).

im wondering, is this a phase....what will we do when i stop bffing. etc etc.

what worries me is a lady in our baby group has a 16 month old who still uses her as a dummy like my dd is doing and feeds every hour. i do not want a 16month old that doesnt sleep through.

i have decided to try and swap the boob prop for another prop (she wont take a dummy). so maybe will try and get partner to give last feed in a bottle (have not tried a bottle since she refused around 3 months old) not sure but if there is anyone out there who has had positive results without sleep training would be gald to hear.

sorry for massive post!

Hi,
Look under sleep and 'what worked for us'. About 480+ posts. Sorry cant do the link from my phone.
Good luck