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18month old screaming at bedtime

5 replies

BananaMuffin · 22/05/2012 21:46

Our 18 month old DS has been a great sleeper over the past few months and is, thankfully, still a good sleeper through the night. But bedtimes are becoming a very stressful experience for all of us. For the past two weeks, as soon as I put him in the cot, he screams and screams (accompanied by jumping up and down and throwing all toys on the floor) and gets very distressed, until one of us gives in and holds him until he's in a deep sleep. This means we're getting no evening (it can take 1-2 hours).

I don't think we're putting him to bed too early as he's always visibly tired, and we're sticking to the same calming bedtime routine (bath - bottle and cuddle - down in cot when drowsy), but he is now screaming the second he feels your arms lower him into the cot.

I can't stand to see him this upset, but we can't go on like this. We need some time in the evening to relax (we have to go to bed very early as DH is up at 5.30 for work). I've tried leaving the room for a few minutes and then going back in to 'calm him down', but it simply doesn't work unless I pick him up. And then the second I put him down again, he shouts no and starts screaming.

Has anyone heard of an 18month regression/ developmental leap that could explain this? In other words, could it turn out to be just a phase? Any advice much appreciated!

OP posts:
toni76 · 30/05/2012 12:20

sorry, no advice at all, but I'm watching carefully - my 16 month is the same. If we stay with her she just starts trying to play - if we leave the room she screams the place down. it;s taking hours every night and driving us BONKERS

narmada · 30/05/2012 12:50

Yes, there is a big sleep regression at 18 months and he is probably having a major bout of separation anxiety. We are having the same :) although ours does not in any way, shape or form sleep through the night even when we do get him down!

omama · 30/05/2012 21:19

agree with narmada. Sleep does tend to go a little crazy at 18months. Huge developmental leap - big language explosion, lots of SA & a drop in sleep needs all rolled into one.

Can you post your daytime routine (wakeup time, nap times & nap length & bedtime)?.

Just to be sure all is looking ok there. Screaming like that at nap/bedtime has only ever meant one thing in our house. I always thought SA at the time but with hindsight it was when he wasn't tired enough to go to sleep. Even though like your LO, we would get all the signals.

Key thing I found, having got to the other side of the 18 month regression is that my LO needed a later nap. He used to nap at 12.30 for 2hrs, bed 7.30 but didn't settle til 8pm & woke at 6am. We pushed the nap to 1pm for 2hrs, & BT to 8pm & he suddenly started sleeping in to 7.15-30am. I can't believe what a difference the later nap made to how well he settled at bedtime. Just something to bear in mind if your LO naps early or for a long time (over 2hrs)

HTH.x

narmada · 30/05/2012 21:22

Yup, similar to report to omama's experience. Our solution has been to curtail the nap to no longer than one hour. Any more and it's impossible to get him to bed for a reasonable time.

Babymay · 30/05/2012 21:58

Hi, my DD has just turned 2 and we're going through the same thing. Has been such a good sleeper till the last few months when she has gotten used to falling asleep in our bed, then being moved into her cot. I've been trying for some time to get her to sleep in her cot. We start by me telling her stories but aftera good half an hour or 45 mins, she's still wide awake then cries to want to come out of the cot. Very occasionally she will fall asleep.
Don't know what to do. Thinking should we maybe convert her cot into a cotbed now so it feels like she is in a bed then we could kind of lay with her or will this pass. I don't quite know how to deal with it. At the moment, I barely get an evening and have a baby due soon too.
What do you think I should do, any advice?

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