getting baby to sleep - no crying!

[EverybodysSleepyEyed]

Ok - I am at my wits end with DD (22m)

This is the current 'routine'

1 hr nap during the day at some point between 1&3pm

Bed at 7.30 - she will cry but more of a complaining cry than a distressed cry and she stops within 10 mins

Any time between 11pm and 2am - wakes up absolutely hysterical - screaming and ranting. I go up (Daddy makes her angrier!) and she stops as soon as I pick her up. She will cuddle me but only go back to bed once she'd had a bottle of milk (160ml cows).

Some time between 4.30am and 6am - wakes up - angry screaming. If I do as earlier she won't stay in her bed and screams to go to my bed. If I take her to my bed she will normally drop off until 8am or so. If I leave her in her bed she just gets angrier and angrier and I think she would scream for hours (I once fell asleep and when I woke realised she'd been screaming for an hour).

I really need her to sleep through and stay in her bed! I also need to do this quietly because poor DS is suffering with lack of sleep (and the poor neighbours!)

Does anyone have any suggestions? If I leave her in her bed and pat her back etc she just stands and starts headbutting the side.

If I give her water she gets really angry and headbutts me!

Any advice would be gratefully received!

Help! Anyone?

It sounds like she just still needs you at night. It is quite normal. Is bed sharing an option you'd consider?

You just all need sleep. I imagine if she was in with you she may not even wake for the bottle in the middle of the night and you might be disturbed less.

She will only sleep on me and then she spends the whole time pinching my face and neck. If I move her once she's asleep she wakes up. If I put her down awake she just sits up and won't sleep. Unless she cuddles me she seems to wake up and chats or pinches me etc. So her sleeping in our bed doesn't work really.

I am absolutely exhausted and have been making silly mistakes at work. Not sure I can go on!

she is a very independent child but gets lots of cuddles during the day from me and her brother and her nanny.

It sounds really hard on you. I find bed sharing is something which settles after a few nights as you get used to each other.

I can't suggest anything else, sorry. I haven't tried anything else

thanks. I was thinking of buying the no sleep solution book but not sure.

DS has always been a brilliant sleeper so this has been a shock!

Would anyone recommend the no sleep solution book?

bump

I have the no-sleep solution, but it didn't work for us, I'm afraid. DS2 is very similar to your daughter, by the sound of things and DS1 was the same. We didn't find anything that worked, he just eventually grew out of it. The problem I find with the no-sleep book and all the other variations of controlled crying is that they assume that if you go in to the baby they will stop crying and settle, at least until you put them down. Unless I breastfeed him DS will not stop screaming for a minute, no matter what you try. And if I feed him nine times out of ten he won't go to sleep anyway and will just start screaming as soon as I take him off.

I wish I could suggest something, but I'm in the same boat and getting to the end of my tether too. We have had about 10 decent nights since Christmas. Tonight he fed for 40 minutes while wriggling, pinching me, and pulling hair. Then screamed for an hour when I tried to put him down. DH finally got him off to sleep by bringing him downstairs to watch telly, which is not ideal, but there's no way DS1 can get to sleep with his brother screaming hysterically in the next room. An hour later he was awake and screaming again. That's been another hour and DH has finally managed to get him to sleep again. It's nearly 11 and we have only just been able to sit down. I would put money on him waking again at 12. Then he will scream and scream unless I take him into my bed and feed him, when he will finally settle and sleep reasonably well, but only if lying on my head pulling my hair or at right angles to me kicking me in the face. DH will have to sleep on the sofa and I will sleep curled up in a corner of the bed being repeatedly slapped, pinched, kicked, and bitten at intervals. But the alternative is more screaming.

Sorry to hear that - how old is he?

It is hard for the older sibling. How old was DS1 when he stopped?

The anger is so hard to deal with!!

I have heard good things about no cry sleep solution. Perhaps try the toddler version rather than the original book?

Could you bring her bed into your room and settle her in there so she knows your there but you have your own space?

DD1 used to wake crying quite a regularly, it seemed to be nightmares but she would be very cross. She grew out of it eventually but I think it's just developmental.

Last night she sobbed to go to bed because she was exhausted from playing outside all day. I was getting her ready for bed and asked her to stop crying because she was going to wake DD2. She sobbed "I don't know how mummy".

How was last night?

well she woke at 11.30 and I gave her milk. put her in bed and sat next to her and held her hand. then i let go of her hand. I moved away and got to the point where she stopped checking i was nearby and crept back to bed. this took an hour in total.

she then woke at 5am and i brought her to our bed where she slept restlessly until her brother woke her up at 7.15. Which meant I didn't really sleep from 5am!!!

DH took them for breakfast but she decided to play her keyboard which is very loud!!!

How would you all manage if she had her bottle in your bed?

I hope it passes soon, lack of sleep is awful xx

i don't think i could cope with that - she pats my face and is very restless in our bed. She would probably try and wake DH to play!

He's 16 months. DS1 stopped about three weeks before DS2 was born (i.e. about 20 months). We are just gritting our teeth and hoping it all happens the same way.

Let's hope so!

I have a new plan - she will not leave her bed and I will do a slow retreat like last night and see if it helps