possibly the most rubbish attempt at night weaning ever

[whenwillisleepagain]

DD was 2 on Saturday, and for some months DH and I have been getting a bedroom ready for her - it was our study / dumping ground so it has been no mean feat and the rest of our flat is still littered with boxes which don't yet have anywhere to go. The new room is next to DS - 5.5. We live in a converted pub and one of the things we did with the new room was have a second ceiling of plasterboard put in to try and minimise disturbance to neighbours.

DD has always slept with me and DH - has a bedside cot but I let her drift into co-sleeping and endless bf as a way of managing. At around six months she was ok to self-settle and all was manageable. Then my dad died and tbh I couldn't be arsed with sleep improvements and let it all drift for the whole of last year because I was not in a great way myself. Also she is my last baby and I can see there is also a bit of me that is less determined to tackle sleep issues than I was with her older sibling.

So now we have a very determined 2 yr old who is still very attached to 'booby time'. She does tell me periodically that it's 'all gone' and I am sure it's entirely about comfort - she likes to grab the non-feeding breast very hard as well, ouch, so it's all a bit of a disaster.

Last night she went to her new room, took one look at it, said 'I don't like it' and then we had a very long evening till 10.30 trying to get her to sleep. I did get her to lie down and read stories with me, play with toys etc. I think the transition has been too fast but I then hoped she'd sleep for some time as she has been so late going to sleep. We are downstairs from her due to peculiar layout of flat. At 3.45 DD awoke, predictably I had been lying awake for a while waiting for this moment. Lots of screaming, sounds of upstairs neighbours moving around so probably woke them too, ended up with DD back in bed with us and bf.

I did have a spell of firmness with her in December and on New Year's Eve she slept through the night but then canines, I think, appeared and took about 4 months to push through, last one came through last week, hence this move.

Any tips would be welcome but I can see really the thing is just to be bold about the noise and hope it abates in a week or so. She was screaming, kicking, just unmanageable really. But after 2.5 years of really broken sleep if you include pregnancy, I would like to change things.

dd sounds scared of the new enviroment, could you not get in bed with her in her own room for a bit till she is used to it. then slowly reduce feeds with you still there. it might take a while but as she is so used to you being there for so long it willbe a big step for her. good luck.

DS is 7 months and after a spell of waking every hr to comfort feed (coslept too) we decided things had to change as I was no longer coping and am back to work in 3wks :(
Moved him to own room fri, and started controlled crying (used method on supernanny website!) and fingers crossed it continues to be a success. He sleeps from 7.30 to 11, I give him bf on my way to bed then he only wakes at 4 ish for bf then doesn't stir til 7/8 next morning. If you try it be prepared for some tears/screaming at first but tbh was a damn sight easier than we thought. Just remember to warn/apologise to neighbours first!!

Is she still feeding during the night?

DS is nearly 16 months and until 3 weeks ago was still feeding 4-5 times during the night in our bed. I'm 19 weeks pregnant and have been suffering awful nursing aversion, I decided something had to change so decided to night wean (I figured less feeds would mean more enjoyment and I don't want to be up feeding 2 babies in the night if he continues after the new baby arrives)

We took the side off his cot and built a platform so it's the same height as our bed. I then followed Dr Jay Gordon advice on his website. It's specifically designed for night weaning co-sleeping babies without too much disruption. It's been a gradual process but last night he slept 11 hours in his cot without a feed.

Even if she's not still breastfeeding I think going from sleeping in your bed to her own bed in her own room is quite a big step all in one go. Is there any way you can break it up into stages?

I honestly believe you can do it (if you're patient) without too much upset, it's a case of keeping things positive and lots of reassurance. It depends on your parenting style but cio is not for me and I don't believe it's the only way to break 'bad habits' - my rule is that DS can come into my bed for cuddles after a certain time, might that work for you? Maybe she's old enough for one of those special clocks that light up when it's time to get up?

Try blow up bed on her bedroom floor - I found gradual withdrawl worked for me. Re feeding, at 2 she should be able to understand if you talk to her - it's going to be hellish but think long term. I found Baby Whisperer was a really good fit for my stle of parenting, she recommends using dads as he doesn't have the boobs! Good luck!!

thank you so much, I agree it was all too big a step and I will re-think. I have read Jay Gordon and duh, totally forgot that I based my reasonably successful sleep improvement spell back in Dec on his ideas. CIO is not for me and also pretty sure I read somewhere and agree that 2 yr olds can cry for a lot longer than smaller children. Will go and re-read Jay Gordon, as I like his philosophy.

Definitely the case that DD understands when I tell her no bf at certain times - her reaction clearly shows this. Great ideas re clock that lights up and I had this morning been wondering about inflatable mattress.

thanks so much for ideas and support