14MO waking at 3am and CAN't get back to sleep.

[mellowmee]

Sleep not great in general at the moment here. DD used to self settle to sleep and sleep through, but for the last 6 weeks it has got progressively worse. Starting with bedtime, she now does not want to go into her cot and be left at all. She used to have a story and cuddle and be put down with a kiss and I could walk out and she would drift off. Now she is shouting for me and the only way to stop this is to pick her up, so I have reverted to letting her shout which last night worked well and she fell asleep within 10 mins.

But what she is repeatedly doing each night (and I have no solution for) is waking any time between 2 and 4 am and just not being able to get back to sleep. She wil cry and I will go in and settle her back down and she will lie in her cot but as soon as I move away from the cot, she will cry. I have started sleeping in the single bed in her room at this time and from 3 until 5.15 (morning here :( ) she is not managing to get back to sleep properly. Whe I am sleeping in the single bed she will still be awake for the most of the time, drifting in and out of sleep.

We have moved onto one nap a day, but are having to move back to 2 as she is so exhausted from not enough night time sleep.

Thanks for your advice :) really struggling to have a positive daytime relationship with DD right now as so exhausted from the nights.

Could you cosleep for a while just so you all get some more sleep?

Yes, I could cosleep, and have ended up doing this a couple of times, but it doesn't help massively, she isn't a brilliant cosleeper, likes her space in bed, and our bed is not so huge, and still wriggles away for the remainder of the night and keeps me awake :(

I am just trying to work out if there is a reason why she can't get herself back to sleep. It is really confusing me, she must be tired, and she will lie in her cot (which makes me think that she is tired), but doesn't like me to move away as she is not managing to actually fall asleep. Even if I get in the single bed and don't give her any attention for the remainder of the night she doesn't fall back to sleep properly.

How long has she been up at 3? We had similar though 3.45 to 4am, but it stopped after a few days. Exactly the same symptom lying quietly til I tried to leave. Incidentally co-sleeping didn't work, she just lay next to me, awake and fidgeting...

5.19 mornings exactly every day for the last week so I am very sympathetic!

fifi this has been going on for a couple of weeks i think, I can't remember properly, the sleep crapness has just developed steadly in the last 6 weeks!! I am completely stuck with what to do, cosleeping the same here really, it doesn't make it better for her or for me, otherwise I think I would be desperately turning to permenant cosleeping...

How old is your LO? Night waking AND early mornings is not a fun combination is it!

Anyone else, any ideas?

Could she unwell? Ds 2.2 has been doing this the last few nights and he has had a virus.

No, not ill - as fit as a fiddle and very happy in the day. Though maybe teething, but it is hard to tell with her as she never shows many signs of teeth coming through.

I guess i was wondering whether it could be anything to do with her routine that I may need to re-jig...currently we are up at 5.15 and try and hold out for a nap at 11.30 which will only last 1.5hours although I sometimes manage to extend with a cuddle and back into cot when she wakes after 1.5hours and then I choose to wake her after 2 hours or soon after, as i've been worried that she is not tired enough for bedtime. And then bedtime is about 7.30ish.

I wonder could she be over tired, or under-tired and I have no idea! I am in such a muddle with her right now! When she was having 2 naps her second nap was ending at about 3 and she just wasn't tired enough by bedtime so I do think she was ready more or less to move to one nap.

Or maybe I need to let her cry a little bit in the night so that she can sort herself out without needing me? I have always been a bit of a soft mummy...what amount of crying is ok? I know this is a personal choice, but perhaps i need to re-jig my personal choice which has always never to let her cry on her own at night...

...and now the day is done and I am dreading bedtime all over again!

Hiya, my DD is 14 months too. We've been quite hands off at night to be honest, we don't tend to go in unless it's something really unusual or if she's been crying properly (as opposed to whingeing) more than 10mins. I did think after the 3.45 night "I wish I hadn't gone in" and maybe we would have avoided the fuss. After 30mins I just wanted to be horizontal again, hence trying to sneak out, failing, and ending up co-non-sleeping. Hence the next night I left her to it...

You must be stupendously shattered by now. I wish I could offer some advice. For what it's worth, my DD's routine is similar to yours, though she is doing a bit better at making it til after lunch. wakes 5.19 nap starts between 12 and 12.30, sleeps for 1.5hr or thereabouts, currently bedtime is 7pm though we're trying to get it later in hope of improving the 5.19 thing. At bedtime she has always been very variable as to whether she goes quietly to sleep or shouts for a while, so we're used to leaving her to it at that point too!

Good luck, hope you have a quiet night, will be interested to hear whether anyone has some good ideas for you.