Toddler won't nap - help!

[thetigerwhocametoteax]

We have found ourselves in a silly situation whereby we are still rocking our DS off for his lunchtime nap at 21 months! It has always worked for us and he sleeps for an hour or two and wakes up happy. Recently he has taken to either not nodding off at all or waking on going into his cot (which he has never done) and not napping at all.

If I do try and leave him in his cot to settle on his own he screams and screams. He settles in his cot at bedtime on his own fine, I am not sure why not during the day? Anyone any experience of getting a toddler to settle down for a nap during the day on their own? I really think he still needs and nap (and so do I!)

can you post his routine for the day i.e. wakeup time, nap time & length & bedtime. I'd say he probably does still need his nap, but it may be he just needs it a bit later now. I've recently found this with my 21 month old too - he used to nap at 12.30 but now he needs it at 1/1.15pm.

WRT him settling in his cot, if this is something he has never done at naptime, then this is probably why he is getting upset. Topped off with possibly not being tired enough to go down. At least if he is going down at bedtime & self settling then you know he has the skills to do it. So it might be a case of trying a slightly later nap & see if he takes that first (perhaps in your arms to start with) & then when you have the nap timing right you could work on getting him to take the nap in the cot, if thats what you want to do. The way I'd do it is to lay him down awake & stay with him, perhaps with your hand on him to offer reassurance, as he may well get upset. Over time you can gradually reduce contact & retreat out of the door.

Thanks for the reply omama. He up for the day about 7.30-8am and goes to bed about 7.30pmish, earlier than this on a no-nap day. We've been trying to put him down for a nap after lunch 1pm ish but nearer 2pm if he doesn't look tired.

I think he still needs his nap and I might have to start waking him in the mornings at 7am so he is more tired by lunchtime. I think he's happier on less night sleep and more day sleep. He will catch up on missing naps by sleeping for a good 13-14 hours sometimes at night so I can hardly complain, but I do think his mood is better when he gets a nap.

I think we might start doing a mini-bedtime routine / a slightly more protracted pre-nap routine and see if he settles after that. I will try the laying him down awake and sit with him, but this never worked at bedtime, he asks for endless stories etc and is better left on his own. I suspect he may be heading towards dropping naps but I am pregnant again and knackered and I am NOT ready for him to drop naps!

If it helps, my LO is same age & his routine is this:

Up: 7.15am (I wake him or he isn't tired enough to nap at usual time)
Nap: 1.15-3pm ( I cap the nap at 1h 45 or he isn't tired for bed)
BT: 8.00pm (he goes straight to sleep now)

So if your DS is getting up 7.30-8 then it stands to reason he may not be tired until 1.30-2pm, which obviously leaves you with a problem if you want him in bed for 7.30pm! So...I think waking him at 7-7.15am may be a good idea - it should help you keep his naptime in place. If he still takes a while to settle at bedtime then you could extend his bedtime a wee bit to 8pm (if you can cope with that! ) or you could try capping the nap a bit shorter to around 1hr.

WRT the settling him for nap - my DS is also better left alone, so it may be that if you get the timing right i.e. around 6hrs after he wakes, he might just go down ok.

Good luck.xx