Hi all,
The title says it all really. Our twin boys have sometimes been a bit tricky with sleep. For whatever reason, whether it was our initial policy of rocking them to sleep when they were younger or something else, they now find it impossible to self settle at night.
During the day the problem isn't too bad - they can be left sometimes to go to sleep themselves at nap time in the morning or afternoon and sometimes you can sing them to sleep over the monitor without too much fuss. Sometimes. If intervention is needed we find they can be soothed with a gentle hand rubbing the back for a few minutes. But during the night it is a totally different story.
Strangely, despite how much easier it can be during the day, if either twin wakes during the night or otherwise starts grumbling/crying over the monitor, they cannot be left to self sooth and cannot be sung to sleep over the monitor. At best, by placing a hand on their backs and rubbing or gently rocking them as we do during the day, we can only relax them into a quiet, deep breathing, semi-sleep state - but it doesn't get them to sleep in under an hour or two. During that time, certainly if they are left alone and even if you simply stop moving your hand on their back before they are fully asleep(even whilst still keeping it there), they will grumble and then quickly begin to cry themselves into a stupor.
Up until 2 weeks ago, if they woke during the night, it might take only 10-30mins to gently stroke them back to sleep, before creeping out of their room as quietly as possible, and they might only require this maybe once or twice a night at say 2am and/or maybe 3 or 4am. Annoying and tiring when it's been disrupting sleep day in day out for the last few months, but totally manageable as it is often resolved quickly.
However, for the last 2 weeks, one twin in particular has taken to waking at any time between 2am and 4am and not going back to sleep for about 2 hours. Last night it was to the minute, 2:11 until 4:11. Rubbing the boy's back will mean he at least goes quiet, lying on his front and appearing as if he is drifting off to sleep. But no matter how long you do this for, stop doing it and he'll labour to sit up (clearly dead tired) and start crying. Invariably it'll take about 2 hours before the rocking actually sends him off to slumber. He is still waking at 6am as usual, which doesn't help our sanity.
We are not believers in letting a baby cry (although we have done for a few minutes just to get some rest) - but regardless, even if we were, doing this would only result in the other twin waking up, which makes things worse.
We've tried bringing him into our room, but he just fidgets and moans. We tried giving him water last night (figuring he may be thirsty as we recently were able to finally drop the 10pm feed), but as it still took two hours to settle him again, there is no reason to think it had any benefit. They were teething a couple of weeks ago, but show none of the signs during the day.
In summary, for two weeks one twin is unsettled to the point of crying for around two hours in the early hours of the morning, night after night, with the only thing preventing him screaming the house down being to rub his back, which during the day and at bed time sends him to sleep, and which we cannot stop doing, even for a minute, without him crying again. All this until he goes back to sleep within about 2 hours.
We'd love some advice or even just to hear that this is a phase which he will grow out of!
Thanks in advance
Matt