Need some advice please! How am i going to do this?

[TiddlesTheNaughtyTortoise]

I've got a wedding to go to at the end of the month and at the moment I just can't get my head around the logistics of it all so i could really do with some words of wisdom.

It's just the night do but I'll need to leave home at around 6.30pm. Dd2 is 6 mo and flatly refuses to go down alone in her cot at night, although she will for some naps. So, usually I boob her to sleep downstairs with us, and then pretty much have to feed her on and off all night til I go to bed. Then I feed her some more and, sometimes she'll go down in her cot for a bit, sometimes we co sleep all night.

Dp is babysitting ( he didn't want to go to the wedding so that's his excuse) but how am I going to leave DD?! obviously I need to get her used to a bottle, but when? How?

And I'm rubbish at expressing so it'll have to be formula. But which one? Gah!

I know I'm probably over thinking it and they'll be fine, but I could really do with some ideas. And perspective.

It's just he's never looked after the two of them by himself..and I don't really think i'm ready to leave her

I'm just worried I'm going to come back to an incredibly over tired baby that I won't be able to settle.

So come on, tell me it will be OK. Please?

Maybe start leaving the two of them with him from now, for a few hours at a time. Your DD need's to learn how to be comforted by her dad and her dad needs to learn how to comfort her. If, by the end of the month, it's all causing too much distress for everyone, then you can re-assess what to do next.

Your DD can still co-sleep with DP until you get home, she just wont have the boob comfort. I imagine it will be hard, but it is only one night, and if she is happy and your DP is happy and everyone is fed and sleepy then this opens the gates for you being able to get out alone in the evenings a little more.

I know you're right Madame but I just get all panicky when i think about leaving her.

Dp is just rubbish at picking up her cues though. If DD cries he just hands her back saying she's hungry, which OK, sometimes she is, but not all the time.

I think I've just realised the problem is I don't want to leave her with DP. Oh dear!

Thing is, though, OP, in the nicest possible way, is your OH poor at picking up on her cues because he's never had to discover what they are? If you are there for every feed, every bedtime, every nappy, how will he know what her different whinges are for?

I really don't want to sound harsh, and I apologise if you think I am, it's just that we (myself included) often say our OHs don't know what to do when in fact we haven't given them the freedom to learn. Afterall, we only know our DCs cues because we have learnt it form spending time with them.

That's what your DP needs...time with his DD to learn about her.

I worried when I had to leave DS with DH for one day a week when i went back to work. I need not have worried, web left on their own together they coped brilliantly, they have their own way of doing things, differently to how I do them, but t works for them.

Could you do a trial run before the wedding so that you can enjoy it instead of spending the evening worrying?

It's OK MadameChinLegs I don't think you are being harsh, and yes, to some extent it is true that I don't give DP much opportunity to learn dd's cues. I need to relax a bit and leave them to it more.

But he's also piss poor at reading dd1's cues and she's 2.3 and very often will tell him what she wants and he still doesn't get it! For instance if a toddler said to you "can I have a biscuit" at 5pm you'd twig that it was dinner time wouldn't you?!

I know he loves them, I just don't think he's great at the practical stuff. He's the fun one. I'm the one who feeds them and changes the nappies.

And I know you are talking sense scrivette, but what if the trial run goes horribly? Then I won't feel like I can go to the wedding at all!

Haha, he has essence of my DH running through him. My DD is a bit of a routine baby, so I found writing a couple of things down helped with my DH. I told him (1) three hours after she feeds, she'll want feeding again (2) two hours after she wakes, put her back down, even if she looks awake (3) if all else fails, strap her in the buggy and go for a walk.

Then I left him have a go. I also gave him certain daily responsibilities. Bathtime is his thing, including dressing her afterwards and feeding her and putting her to bed.

How great that your DD is able to wangle cheeky biscuits out of dad before dinner, little minx