Sleep consultant for a 3 month old

[mistressploppy]

My 3m old's sleep is atrocious (especially naps) and I wondered if anyone had used a sleep consultant to help with a baby this young? Or are they just for older ones, ie those who can do some kind of sleep training?

What do you mean by atrocious?

Can you tell us what an average day is like?

I didn't use one. Am sure others will pop on who did, but TBH most babies go through a stage of very short naps of around 45mins between 3-6 months & suddenly they start to get longer. Its all a part of natural development. Its to do with how the brain is developing - first the brain works on organising night sleep (so baby will first start to sleep one long stretch at night between 6wks-3months. Then baby's brain works on organising daytime sleep & a regular morning nap establishes. My LO went through a stage of taking 30-45min naps all day every day & being very overtired. And it did eventually stop. So if this is your issue, please rest assured it is a phase that will pass & you could pay all the money in the world to a consultant who may suggest structured naps (which may help) but you may find these short naps persist until baby is developmentally ready to transition from one sleep cycle to the next without waking.

Of course if your issues are more related to baby not knowing how to fall asleep without your help eg rocking/feeding/cuddling, a sleep consultant may help, but there are also many folks on here who have been through the same things so please do share & we may be able to offer suggestions/support before you cough up the cash!

If you do go down that route though please make sure you choose your consultant carefully, one who will use approaches you are comfortable with & one who will not suggest using CC on a baby younger than 6 months old. Also please be aware that sleep training a young baby IS possible, but you use other approaches than CC. We did it at 3-4 months to break a cuddling to sleep prop with us of BW sssh/pat technique. Very gentle & baby is never left alone to cry (although there is inevitably some crying). Took 2 weeks & its the best thing we did.

(((hugs)))

Perhaps I'm being dramatic

It's just I can see him getting worse.

He was doing 45min naps, now they're 30min and today he was down to 10min. He's really overtired and I don't know how to help him. He doesn't sleep longer in a sling/buggy/car/bouncer/on me/in bed with me. He doesn't self-settle.

Average day - wake at 5.30, try to nap and fail, finally nap for 30min at 9ish, again at 1pm, possibly at 3pm if we're lucky. Bath and bed at 6pm, usually takes ages to settle, then wakes after 45min. Resettle, might sleep til 9pm, feed, then wakes to feed at 1am, 3am, then 5.30 we start again.

So, not the worst in the world, but still deteriorating

Also - apologies, I've got about a million thread going about the same thing

*threads

It's exhausting, isn't it. I have been there. Ok, here's what I reckon based on two babies:

It's just a phase, it's just a phase (the good stuff as well as the bad stuff!). Sometimes the phase lasts a week, sometimes a few months. But it definitely won't last.

Don't expect a 3 month old to nap in any kind of a predictable pattern. Unless you are lucky or a mega keen on strict routines. Lower your expectations of what naps he "should" be having.

Gradually babies become more predictable in their sleep as they get older.

Don't persist on trying to get a baby to nap if it is determined not to nap. Give up and try again later. The hours I wasted with DD1 shushing / rocking / tearing my hair out!

Don't worry about lack of self-settling at this age. They will get it. We brought DD1 into our bed when she was a baby and wouldn't settle and I felt guilty (creating bad habits etc). But with DD2 we brought her into bed when she wouldn't settle, didn't feel guilty, and now she (usually) sleeps through 7pm to 7am in her own bed (11 months) and has done for a while. So even if you are helping him to sleep now, that doesn't necessarily mean he won't ever learn to self-settle.

I would really think that 10min naps is a short phase - I'd be surprised if he keeps that up for the next week. Teeth? Developmental spurt? Wind? Who knows, but I don't think it'll last long.

I'm afraid I think you'd be wasting your money on a sleep consultant. Do you have lots of friends with "perfect" babies, on fantastic schedules, which might be making you feel like a failure with your baby who "still" isn't sleeping through etc?

Yeah - myself! Ds1 was/is a very laid back, biddable child and although he did 45min naps he followed a routine beautifully, fed well and has slept 7-7 from 16wks with almost no exception in his 2.6 years on this earth

So I've been spoilt. And I feel I'm failing ds2 by not committing to a routine for him

quote op :'Average day - wake at 5.30, try to nap and fail, finally nap for 30min at 9ish, again at 1pm, possibly at 3pm if we're lucky. Bath and bed at 6pm, usually takes ages to settle, then wakes after 45min. Resettle, might sleep til 9pm, feed, then wakes to feed at 1am, 3am, then 5.30 we start again.'

Hun I replied on your other thread too, but there you said he was going down for a nap every 1.5hrs but this routine doesn't look like that.

Based on what you posted above, I'd say you need to put your DS down for a nap far far earlier. His wakeup time (while early) isn't actually that bad when you consider he's going to bed at 6pm. He's doing an 11.5hr night. I expect the reason he's going to bed so early though is because he's having such short naps right?

The real trouble starts when you say he's awake from 5.30am all the way until 9am. At his age that is an awful long time & I would expect he should really be needing to sleep after something like 1h20-30.

What happens when he wakes at 5.30 is he just ready to start the day?

I actually think that his afternoon nap is far too late at the moment starting at 1pm, particularly when he's only had a 30min nap at 9am - he's awake 3.5hrs before that next nap. And the morning nap starting at 9am is also late considering he was up at 5.30am. IMHO you have 2 choices.

1. adjust the nap times a wee bit & stick to your guns & push through the overtiredness. I'd aim for more like: Nap: 8.30-10 Nap: 11.30/12 - 1.30/2ish Nap: 4ish (short nap max 1hr) Bed: 7pm

Over time the morning nap will get gradually later & shorter until its 9.30-10am & lunchtime nap starts at around 12.30 for 2hrs & afternoon nap can be dropped. This won't be until he's a few months bit older though.

2. Or if you prefer the softly softly approach I'd just have him asleep no more than 1.5hrs from when he woke in the morning. And if he short naps for 30mins or less I'd put him down for his next nap after about an hour, 1.25hrs max, until his naps start to lengthen. This will help him get past his overtiredness & then you can work on re-establishing a routine.

xx

Omama I TRY for a nap after 1.5hrs awake but it takes so long that we end up with the less than favourable nap times listed above . That lot was just what happened yesterday; every day is so different ATM.

So grateful for your help, will keep trying

Have you tried a dummy?