Sleeping in same room - advice needed

[ShakeWhatYourMamaGaveYou]

I would like a bit of advice please... I have 3 children youngest is ds age 13 weeks. I am a little confused and feeling a bit guilty about something and would like to here some opinions!
For dd1 and dd2 they slept in a Moses basket by our bed for about 3-4 weeks and then in a Moses basket in their own room. The room adjoins our bedroom so if we leave door open it's almost like being in same room - don't need monitor etc but can't hear breathing, snuffling etc...

Anyway, this arrangement has always worked well for us and midwives, Plunkett nurses (I love in Nz now and this is their version of a HV) have never suggested I do otherwise.

I am quite new to mumsnet and have been quite surprised (i dont have an opinion whether thus is goox or bad- just surprised) at how many people co-sleep (a big no no here due to increased risk of SIDS apparently).

I have also read on a couple of threads here that you should have baby near you at all times when sleeping, e.g not upstairs for 2 hour nap by themselves and not in room by themselves in room at night as research shows babies regulate their breathing based on hearing mothers. Ds sleeps upstairs during day as v light sleeper and dd2 wakes him up otherwise..

Whilst it is recommended that you sleep in same room, it's certainly not pushed here and other factors given much much more emphasis: sleeping on back, sleeping on own basket/cot, not smoking, breastfeeding etc...

I feel a little confused, Can anyone shed any light on which risk factors are most risky?? Ds is definitely last child and I'm feeling very paranoid and protective - am I
doing the right thing? Can anyone sustatiate that breathing research? If I'm mindful of the other risk factors am I doing enough for him? Btw, moving him closer by our bed would be tricky now as he's huge and too big for Moses basket so in cot..

Oops many typos - on phone so please excuse!

Most risky risk factors are: smoking in pregnancy & smoker in the household. Sleeping on tummy or side have also been shown to have caused a big increase in deaths before the back to sleep campaign. Co-sleeping on an unsafe surface like a sofa or waterbed (or co-sleeping in unsafe way, e.g. drugs/alcohol) should definitely be avoided. The smoking ones are the really huge risk factors and if smoking was eradicated SIDS rates would plumit.

There are some stats here about lone sleeping.

I believe the political context is different in NZ and I have read e.g. here that the reason bedsharing is so discouraged is because of the prevalence of practices by the Maori population that mean it is done in a way that poses more risk. This context will be affecting the headline public health messages locally, which tend to be quite broad brush. As the risk factor is smoking in pregnancy, by the time mothers are being advised on the care of their baby it is too late to alter this fact as it has already happened. Thus it is deemed safer in public health campaigns to caution against bedsharing in general because of the specific risk to babies whose mothers smoked during pregnancy.

With bedsharing discussions there is no easy one-size-fits all approach. It is a complex issue. For a breastfed baby whose family do not and have never smoked, don't drink or take drugs and sleep their baby on it's back not too warmly dressed then bedsharing is at least as safe as having the baby in a cot in the parents room. Having the baby in a room alone poses a higher risk, but nothing like as high as if mum had taken up smoking in pregnancy.

You may find more stats in the references in the really informative UNICEF info for health professionals on caring for your baby at night. This is also a great resource.

TBH I moved DS when he was about 14 weeks next door as well. DH snores and would wake DS it was utterly exhausting being in the same room together. There was a double bed in there too so I spent my nights taking turns sleeping with them both in different rooms.

I was low risk though, bf, no smokers in house, no alchohol etc.

Thanks so much for your replies- yes pesto I did wonder if it was a cultural thing in that Maori / polynesian families are more likely to co-sleep and are also more likely to smoke, use alcohol etc so it's a blanket recommendation..
I am breastfeeding but have introduced 1 bottle of formula a day as I'm finding ebf very difficult with 2 other dc, no smoking ever in this house or from dh or I, sleeping on back but tilted to side as was getting flat head, dressed appropriately, no sleeping on sofas etc, new bed linen, sleeping bag etc for him, well ventilated room. I do feel like I am doing most things 'right' but this other room thing has been nagging in my mind a bit..

Thanks for great resources pesto