getting desperate - professional help

[superchick]

Has anyone used a night nanny or other professional. ssleep trainer / consultant? Dd is 10 months and we are failing to improve her sleep to the point where none of us know whats going on anymore. I'm not rich but happy to pay for good results. Any recommendations in the bristol area?

Not paid as there is so much good advice on here usually, also when we were having problems with DS our HVs ran a sleep clinic. Have you spoken to your HV super? If you do decide to pay though I'd do some serious checking of references and discuss their styles first so that you know that their advice will fit in with your parenting style and won't go against your instincts.

Have you read 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep, best bedtime snacks, foods that help you sleep, hidden medical causes of nightwakings, 8 sleep facts every parent should know and this on one sleep trainers.

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution too?

Know its very hard when you are sleep deprived but try to remember that some night waking at this age is normal and that at 12 months half of all babies still wake at some point regardless of how your feed them or your parenting style.

Oh and if you are after a sleep trainer in Bristol, have you tried the MN local board?

Another vote for no cry sleep solution.

Thanks. Yes NCSS was my first port of call and I've been lurking here ever since it all started to go wrong at 4 months! The Dr Sears stuff has also been useful but seriously nothing works. Our problem is that there is no predictably to her wakings and we are trying so many different things I think she is so confused (as are DO and I). I totally accept that she may wake at night for milk, reassurance, illness, whatever for some time to come but its so frequent without any obvious cause and so difficult to resettle her that I know something seriously needs to change. We've tried gradual retreat and then later CC which worked for a time but now its slipped again and she gets really upset if we try it again.

I'be been looking at www.nightnannies.com. They seem reasonable.

Sorry. DP not DO.

How often does she wake on an average night then super and when you say its so difficult to resettle her, does she stay awake if she's had milk? Know I may sound nosey but just trying to help .

Had a look at the website, for me "? Teaching your older baby (over 6 months) to sleep through the night" that statement would ring alarm bells. If you are thinking of using them I would ask which techniques they employ to do that. If you are just going to be paying them to let your baby cry while you listen then I would personally have a problem with that.

That's ok, I'll take any help! The wakings vary so much but I guess a pretty typical night would be bed at 7 (rocked to sleep after a bottle which she often only drinks half of) then waking at 11, 1, 3 and up for the day at 5.30. I would always leave her to self settle for a minute or 2 (occasionally works) then go in and try to settle with cuddles/rocking first but if she's very angry then a bottle of milk. Sometimes this settles her straight away but sometimes she's got really worked up and she won't sleep again for an hour or more. She has 1 or 2 bottles every night and eats very little in the day as a result.
We co slept and bf all night til she was 7 months then continued to co-sleep with bottles til 8.5 months when she started crawling and fell out of bed a couple of times. This was when we started the "training" as she had to sleep in her cot.

Although saying that she has woken 3 times already this evening and settled herself back down on two of those. I think she's overtired (woke at 5am and had 2 naps today of 2 hours and 1 hour) but have no idea how to rectify that. Naps are another massive battle - she often only has 2 x half hour naps.

Try the Millpond Sleep Clinic?

Alternatively, Andrea Grace? or Alison Scott Wright (if you are mega-rich) .. don't have personal experience though.

Tried a night nanny once and it didn't help.

Good luck!

i would second/third and fourth millpond - they were fantastic..... for me and lots of other friends.......give them a ring to chat

Thank you natropath and thekingfisher I will check out millpond.

Sounds like she is she is reverse cycling to me then super. There is some information here and I'm sure the NCSS has a section on it too including taking them outside first thing. Odd trick but it helped us and a few others I know.

I don't know your area but have used sleep consultants in the past with great success on two occasions having also read every book on the market!!

We had a two hour consultation with follow up phone calls. Having someone else help us define a strategy, giving us logic as to why it would work and then having a date to call back and report progress was worth it. Also, having paid for the advice, we felt under a certain obligation to try very hard to follow it through. We did use consultants that did not advocate cry it out etc.

From what you have said, the steps that I think they would advise would be:

1. Break the link between feeding and settling. Move the bedtime bottle to earlier in the routine and work towards settling your baby in her own bed, gradually reducing the amount of interaction she gets while staying with her. (think shushing, patting etc)

1. Reduce the number of night time feeds. Set a time before which you will not feed her and settle her back to sleep. Do this in tandem as for a while you could be by her bedside, shushing and patting for a long time. Ensure she eats and drinks at regular tines during the day and hopefully, feeding less at night should make her hungrier for food during the day and then more settled at night.

1. Keep a diary of what you do, how many times you go in, how long settling takes, how much she feeds etc. A horizontal bar divided into hours that you colour in line with a simple key is the easiest way for this not to become a huge chore, then you can easily see if the colour becomes more blue for sleep and less red for waking.

1. Don't expect it to change in a week but look for and celebrate improvements and don't relax too much when you have made progress or you may end up going backwards. If she gets I'll, do what you need to do but when she is better, tell her that she is better and now needs to sleep on her own again.

1. Do check that there is nothing causing her sleep disturbances. DS2 had terrible itchy skin and food allergies that made him very uncomfortable, he did have to learn to settle himself but it was a difficult journey and we had to address all areas to improve things.

Good luck!!

Another vote for andrea grace. Haven't personally used her but a friend with twins thought she was great. she does phone based consultation as well as face to face.

Our dd didn't improve until she learnt to fall asleep without the crutch of feeding, rocking or singing. Only when she consistently went into her cot awake and fell asleep there did things improve..

She's now just 3 and sleeps through the night 9 times out of ten and has since she was about 13 months... Now just trying to tackle DS's sleep!