15 mth old breast fed cosleeper and wimpy mummy - wwyd

[maddening]

hi

DS has never been a great sleeper, never really sttn. At 8 weeks he would not stay asleep unless held seemingly due to strong startle reflex- we ended up swaddling for night sleep and holding for naps - he also nursed to sleep.

We managed to stop swaddling at 6 mths and after a couple of failed attempts had some success with pupd at 9 mths- but after starting nursery he had a tummy bug at 11 mths and we ended up cosleeping - this became more frequent until it was just how we sleep.

He does sometime self settle in a loose sense of the term in that we will nurse and then he will turn over awake and lie there and fall asleep. When he wakes at night he will usually require a feed.

He usually wakes a couple of times a night - this varies so much though as he has been teething pretty constantly since 15 weeks - he has 16 teeth and I think he has started teething his 2nd lot of molars.

My "plan" is to set his cotbed as a bed and put the mattress on his floor by his bed and move ds and I in there - I intend to leave him asleep on the mattress for naps (where I currently lie next to him) and also at the start of the night (again I go up to bed when he does) as I won't need to worry about him falling off and it may get him used to my absence.

I was thinking of using the dr jay gordon method to stop the night feedings once in his room - but feel I need to wait for a break in the teething (oh please god!) to tackle this.

I was then going to try and get him sleeping on his bed with me on the mattress on the floor and then do gradual withdrawal.

so does this sound like a workable plan?
wwyd?
any hints/tips/ways to improve my sleep plan?

ps sometimes when he naps he wakes up early and goes from asleep to sitting immediately - he looks scared/shocked and shakes - any ideas what this is - he gets upset unless I bf him again and then he is out for the count for the reminder of his nap.

he currently has 1 nap after lunch of 2-3 hours and sleeps 8pm- 7am with wake ups around 1-3 and 5ish -he is restless after 5am and usually requires nursing to stay asleep then till 7am. Some nights he wakes more frequently or may be up for the day earlier

That sounds like a very good plan.

You have the advantage of him being older and you should explain to him what is going to happen. It should help. He will understand something.

I found my son was unwell such a lot that I had to retrain falling asleep in a cot without me too many times so don't beat yourself up about the situation you are in, I did the bedtime controlled crying and then a month later was back in the same situation. I just had to go with the flow for a while til I got a clearer run at it.

And you are not a wimpy mummy. Just a mummy who loves her baby and doent want to distress him.

Good luck. Gentle methods are good because you can revisit them without trauma. Also gradual withdrawal works very well with toddlers. Good luck!

Wow OP, I could written your post almost word for word. The worst thing is having no time to yourself I think. Because I lie next to DS for his nap, and all night from when he goes to bed, I have literally no time to relax, watch TV, or even just housework!
Anyway, I'm going to be implementing a very similar plan to yours once we move to our new flat in about 4 weeks. It has 2 bedrooms whereas we only have one at the mo, so not possible to sort the beds out how I want.
The only thing I'm not sure about is how to stop DS feeding to sleep. I have rocked him to sleep a couple of times and like yours he will feed then turn over and fall asleep which I guess is sort of self-settling. I think I'm just going to have to rock him (DP can help) but he's 24lbs now so not easy!
Good luck, maybe let me know how you're getting on? x

drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

theleakyboob.com/tag/dr-jay-gordon/

this is the method I'm thinking of using to stop nursing to sleep/night feeds bet.

I was also thinking of doing role play with him as per the australian bw which works with your advice Tertius :)

thanks ladies - am fed up of people in rl telling me to just cio - they make me feel like a failure really.

thanks for replying - was doubting my plan as a lady at toddler group said it sounded like I would confuse him.....