Feeding to sleep (I know!)

[Twinkleinmyeye]

I've always fed DS2 to sleep. Well, DS1 as well actually, but we got him out of it at around 15 months. Ds2 is now 6 months and WILL NOT fall asleep without my boob in his mouth!! I've tried the Pantley pull off but it just seems to make him cross. Shush/pat doesn't make a dent and I was scarred by a night of PUPD with DS1. I just can't seem to make that work.

We cosleep too, which is fine for us at night but when he goes to bed round 7:30, he seems to know if I try to get up to leave to, I dunno, do some housework or say hello to my DH! Then he wakes up and it's got to be boob again before he goes back to sleep!

I am tempted to wean altogether, but I know there are added health benefits with extended breastfeeding.

I'm looking for any advice or success stories, rather than "you've made a rod etc etc". I did what I had to do to get the sleep I needed in the first 6 months of having a toddler and a newborn! :)

Hi, dd is 8 months and exactly the same. She now sleeps for a lot of the evening but only if she is on one of us, after feeding to sleep. She only manages 10 mins if I try and put her down. I just keep trying and hope eventually it will get easier; this is far preferable to the constant battles, crying etc which I had with ds whilst trying to avoid the old rod for your own back thing.

Are you me? You are describing my life and parenting style down to the co-sleeping and not being able to leave the bedroom in the evening .

I'm working on this with ds2 right now who is 7mnths old. What id say is don't worry at all about feeding to sleep - this is how breast feeding at this stage is supposed to work IMO. Did you know that breast milk in the evening has extra soporific qualities ESP for this purpose.

If you are desperate to have your evenings back and why wouldn't you be? try waiting until he's completely in deep sleep before you leave. At this point he'll prob come off the breast anyway and his limbs will be nice and floppy when picked up and released. I'm not promising miracles but this might start to get him used to a little independent sleeping. Try the usual tricks too like leaving a garment you've worn in the cot/bed next to him for your reassuring scent or wrap up a towel into a tube and curl it around him in an upside down 'u' - might fool him into thinking your arm is around him.

Another 'cheat' is to feed him until drowsy then rock him to sleep in his car seat. Mine will happily sleep for an hour or two this way. But beware this way potential bad habits lie and your back won't thank you if your routinely doing this when he's 3 .

Just to finalise - don't worry he will grow out of this by himself anyway. By around 18 months he'll not fall asleep on the breast in the same way ( should you choose to bf that long) and you'll be able to get him off to sleep with a story and some hair stroking / back rubbing.

With DC1 I fed her to sleep to 14mo, then we substituted the bottle. Around 18mo we got tough, and since then all has been well.

DC2 feeds to sleep. He is 8mo. We keep him with us on the sofa until we are ready to go to bed, and he uses me to go back to sleep if he stirs. Bad habits? Sure! Does he sleep through? No! But this too shall pass. He's a baby. All too soon he won't want to know me. There is time to sort out the bad habits when he's older.

Yes, I could do with some more sleep. But my perspective is skewed by two good friends who lost their baby boys at birth. I bet they'd give anything to be cuddling and feeding their DS's like me right now. So for now I'll keep going with the flow and refuse to be stressed about what we "should" be doing. There is ample time to sort that out when he's older.

P.S. and we had a weekend away from the DCs recently. Guess what? They survived, and did actually sleep without my boob.

P.P.S. I really don't mean this to sound facetious, I'm sorry if it sounds like that!

Thanks all. It's nice to know there are others in the same boat! PoppyWearer, you're right about perspective, and no, you didn't sound facetious!! :)

I find naptimes the most awkward. When he was smaller, I just popped him in the sling and managed to play a bit with DS1 as well. He's too big for babywearing (for long periods) now, so I've been trying to put him into (my) bed and feed him to sleep so I can go back to DS1. He generally lasts for 30 minutes before waking. With another feed back to sleep he might go another 20. He's then tired again an hour later.

I'd love to be able to just appreciate snuggling with my baby, but it's impractical when his big brother (2.6yo) wants - and deserves! - some of my attention. :(

We are currently trying to move DD on from feeding to sleep (she's 14 months) but have found the pantley pull off just made her confused and cross, despite doing it over and over as it says in the book.

Instead, what seems to be working (at the moment anyway!) is to Feds her til she's just starting to go off and then put her on my shoulder and rock her in the nursing chair until she's asleep then put her in the cot. We've been doing this for about 10 days and it seems to be gradually working but of course will have to then start putting her in the cot still awake eventually.

Maybe something similar would be worth a try? I think for DD being anywhere near a nipple was just too much temptation!

One other thought, might changing the sling give you a quick fix? I can still carry her comfortably in our ergo for a couple of hours at a time and she's a little chubba! What sling are you using?