What to do with my 18 month old waking early or middle of night?

[emmyloo2]

Hi, my DS is 18 months and his sleep seems to have recently taken a turn for the worse. He is now regularly waking between 4am and 5.30am every morning and sometimes in the middle of the night.

The problem is we use a bottle to resettle him which works perfectly, and he falls straight back asleep but I know we shouldn't be doing this. We did controlled crying when he was 12 months because he wasn't settling at his bedtime and this worked very well and now we have no problems at bedtime. However, controlled crying doesn't work at 4am - he just keeps crying until we get him up, at which point he asks for his bottle.

What to do?

I wonder if I should remove his bedtime bottle? Is that encouraging the night waking do you think? He has his dinner, then bath and then stories with a bottle. This has been his routine for ages now. Shall I remove that bottle? I am scared i won't be able to get him to settle at night without it though. what about making it a smaller bottle and gradually reducing it that way?

Any advice would be appreciated because I feel like we are hopeless parents who have completely mucked this sleep thing up. I can't believe he is 18 months and still waking up at night. I feel like a bit of a failure to be honest.

Thanks

No advice but watching with interest as we're having the exact same issue.. 18mo DD who was a good sleeper has regressed in the last 4 weeks to now up 1-3 times a night.
Using a bottle to resettle quickly as I'm exhausted but know its the wrong thing to be doing.

I've never sleep trained and she's always found her own routines so am reluctant to now but am at my wits end and exhausted!

EMS - it's bloody awful isn't it. We use the bottle because it works but every time I am thinking "bad mother, bad mother". However, whatever gets you through the night.

I also think perhaps he is thirsty, but maybe I am kidding myself?

I am also hoping he will grow out of it. He was always a good sleeper. He still naps well during the day and he goes to sleep at 7pm without trouble. It's just this 4am or 5am wake ups.

It does seem to be a common occurence so I am hoping someone will come along and tell us they grow out of it and just to hang in there! I feel like dead man walking though....

emmyloo2 - are you giving him a bottle when he wakes during the night or just at bedtime? I really don't think milk in a bottle at BT will be the issue. Its part of his routine & what he is used to. And so long as he's not falling asleep on the bottle, and you brush his teeth after he has it & put him down awake, then it shouldn't lead to any issues in terms of him expecting a feed. On the other hand if he goes down already asleep, OR you give him a bottle at every night waking then yes this is likely to cause issues with repeated waking b.c he will not know how to self settle. FWIW my LO is 20 months & he still has a bottle at BT, but goes down awake & puts himself to sleep & doesn't typically have NW's. But if he does wake in the night I will settle him by other means eg a cuddle.

Can I also ask, what is his daytime routine? How much is he napping & when? This can often have an impact on them waking early too.

Omama - yes we are giving him a bottle when he wakes at 4am or 5am because he asks for it. I know we shouldn't but it is the easiest way to settle him and I guess we have gone for the easy option! He usually wakes and then cries and we leave him for a bit, but he doesn't stop crying. We then take him out of his cot and into our room and he has his bottle. This is the only thing that seems to settle him. I am not sure how else I woudl settle him because he will often be sobbing at this point.

During the day he has one sleep from about 12.30pm until maybe around 3pm? It's hard because I work FT so my mother and MIL look after him. But usually he sleeps between 2-3 hours. I am thinking of reducing that to two hours.

Last night he slept from 7.15pm to 6.30am without a peep. This is the problem. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the nights he wakes early (say 4am or 5am). Then he will go back to normal waking time.....so I am not sure the reason behind it.

Any advice would be appreciated!

ok so I would definitely say trimming the nap may be a good idea now - that's quite a lot of sleep & he should certainly manage on 2hrs at this age.

WRT the feed - it may be he is waking out of habit, if he is used to getting a bottle. Of course, if it helps you get him back to sleep I understand your reasoning for doing it. What about, first of all, trying limiting his nap a bit. Give it a good couple of weeks to take effect.It may be that is enough to stop him waking at 4/5am & you won't need to tackle the bottle feed.

If he does continue to wake then you need to decide if you want to tackle the feed or not. He doesn't really need it at his age, but you may need to employ some other tactics to get him down. If you're not a fan of CC, Perhaps you could try to resettle him in his cot with your hand on him, & then gradually reduce contact & gradually retreat out of the room? xxx

I would try the wake to sleep method . The idea is you go in, and disrupt their normal sleep pattern by rousing them slightly, but not so they are fully awake. So I used to go in, say my DS2s name so he'd grunt or roll over. AFAI Remember you have to do it about an hour before their normal waking time, It worked very quickly. Have a search on google and here on MN

Wake To Sleep

My 18mo is doing this too. Honestly, I think it's just a phase and you could do absolutely nothing at all and it will sort itself out.

Maybe - but I decide not to risk it with DS 2. DS1 used to wake at 5am for years