Is this an acceptable thing to admit in public? (public=other mums!)

[eeden]

I have 2 children and both were terrible sleepers as babies. DS much more so. Now they are 6 and 4 and they each sleep in their own little junior beds pushed right up together in our bedroom (DH and me in our bed). I had not intended to cosleep when they were born, both had cot and moses basket but I could never get either of them to sleep in the cot. They did sleep a little bit in the moses basket when they were really tiny, because I suppose tiny babies really need lots of sleep. So they both ended up cosleeping and I know at 6 and 4, that seems to be a bit frowned on and people do tend to think you are weird.

DS is adamant that he will sleep in our room even when he is grown up and he is a nervous little boy (monsters etc). So what I would like to know is will people still think we are strange for allowing both kids (or either, irrelevant really) to sleep in junior beds in our room?

Does anyone else have a little bed in their room like this for a child of this age? I worry quite a bit what people think of me/us.

If you have room for them to sleep in another room, then people will think it is strange. Feck them.

I can't remember when DS went into his own room at night. It was before he was one and he generally took naps in his own room. We all sleep better in our own rooms and I think it this is best. Your DC may never want to go into their own rooms; at what age do you think you should intervene?

My best friend had her 4 year old in her bed until the new baby was born (now 2 and still in her bedroom). Neither of her DC sleep very well and you have to do what suits you.

If it works for you as a family and doesn't cause you any issues then who cares? In many other countries this would be the norm.

I know a family where it is an issue - dd (aged) sleeps in the marital bed and it has massively affected their sex life! However, dd rules the roost and both are afraid of her emotional reactions. Mother moans about it but in an amused 'what can you do about it' way, her dh is less happy but does what he is told by both women in his life and neither are inclined to changed the dynamic [shrug]...just wish they were more like you and embraced their choice!

sorry, should say dd aged 7

There are 4 of us and we have 4 bedrooms. Although the kids' beds are in our room, there is a bed each for them in their own rooms which they choose not to use. There is also a double sex guest bed in the spare room.

My 3.5 y/o and 1 y/o still sleep in with me. I don't give a shiny shit what anyone else thinks - it works for us. If they are still there at your dcs age it wouldn't bother me at all.

I am impressed with your set up - sounds lovely, you have very lucky dcs.

I wouldn't worry about it at all - if you are happy and and they are. I do come from an asian background so this might have influenced my thinking.

When I visit my Mum ( who is divorced btw) , my sister (19) and I (25) still camp in her room despite us all having beds elsewhere. Some of my most special memories/moments is when we have done this - we generally have a gossip, watch TV and a natter. We co-slept with her for a very long time ( me until i was seven, sister 8) I know that this is not to everyone's taste/some people would be dead set against it but I just wanted to say you are not strange and what you do in your own family is your business so feck everyone else.

If you are bothered by what people think just don't say anything.

I think if it works for you it's irrelevant what anyone else thinks.
I've heard that it's normal in JApan for children to stay in with the parents until they're around 7; and I don't care at all that DS is still in with either me or DH because he doesn't like to sleep alone.
If we are in the bed with him, he doesn't wake up - if I'm not there, he will always wake up at some point and call for me.

Yes I might be soft in giving into him but I'd rather do it than have him screaming and terrified of monsters/dark/abandonment or whatever else he gets into his head (own ishoos coming strongly into play in this, I have to say).

However, we will have to think of a different way around it by October as, all being well, we will have a new baby to contend with and DS will not be able to stay in the bed with me and the baby. (DH moved out of the marital bed as soon as DS was born - he couldn't cope with the disturbance )

I never intended to co-sleep as well - and after 6m, DS went into his own cot for most of most nights - lasted until 18mo which is when we packed the house up to move to Australia and then he came in with me and never went back into a cot again due to force of circumstance - after 3m of sleeping back in with me there was no shifting him out again and he was too big for the cot by then.

We only have 2 bedrooms so will have to think of a cunning plan...

Thanks all, yes you are right I need to stop being bothered what people think!

I'd never heard of cosleeping until DD turned up. She has her own room (just turned two) and gets the choice of where to sleep. She usually opts to sleep in her own room but I don't have a problem.

If I were being completely honest, if your children were over the age of 7 then I might wonder if there were some emotional issues causing them to need to stay close to you, but really it isn't anyone else's business is it?

I think a lot of parents do cosleep but many are afraid to admit to it because it's not the 'done thing' in that tiny percentage of the world that the UK occupies. Everywhere else thinks that we are the weird ones for not cosleeping.

If it works for your family that is fantastic

We did similar till dd was 4 1\2 and DS was almost 4, with cot beds next to ours although they didn't have their own rooms till then as our house was tiny.

Our 'spare bed' was the sofa