DD takes forever to calm down and fall asleep

[CharlieMouseWillDoIt]

DD is almost 15 months. She used to fall asleep being either b/f or rocked, but the last couple of months she has been falling asleep lying next to me on our bed. This is fine as she is finally learning to self-settle, but it takes forever for her to calm down and actually sleep!

Our bedtime routine is: dinner, 20 mins or so of playtime, bath, into PJs, breastfeed in darkened room... and then about 60-90 minutes of DD sitting up/standing up/rolling around the bed. She'll find anything to play with - the corner of my pillow, her sleepsuit, my face! And then eventually she'll gradually start to calm down and will stay lying down and then she'll drift off into sleep. I'll then transfer her to her cot (which is in our room).

Any suggestions on how I can speed the process up and I can get an hour or more of my evening back?? I don't want to just leave her in the cot to get on with it as she'll play for a while, then start getting distressed.

what time do you start this off?

i would maybe push it back a bit as it sounds like she just isn't tired

but some children are just like this... ds1 has always taken ages to fall asleep. In his case I could leave him in the cot/bed and he would happily play until he fell asleep, but obv that won't work for you if she gets distressed

It's usually bath at about 6.30pm, then in the bedroom for feed by about 7pm, so it can be about 8.30pm before she's asleep. We have fiddled around with bedtimes, but it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. I think she needs to get to sleep earlier as she is often tired the following day (and will still wake at 6ish regardless of the time she goes to sleep).

Watching this with interest as I have a DS the same age doing the EXACT same thing! He climbs all over me, uses his head to push himself to standing on the bed and generally messes around for anything up to 2 hours before eventually falling asleep. I find myself getting really narked that I have no evening left at the end of it and have on occasion fallen asleep with/before him and been there for the night.

Our problem is we co-sleep and since he's been more active its not safe to leave him alone on the bed when he's awake (even with a bedguard, he just tries to climb over it) not that I could leave him anyway as he screams the place down and I am anti cio.

We have a cot but have taken one side off and intend to build a platform for it to stand on to become a sidecar... We've got number 2 on the way and eventually want him in his own cot but for now I'm just working on getting him to sleep without breastfeeding every time.

I think he might be overtired and need an earlier bedtime (we've tried letting him run around before bed to burn off some of the excess energy but it made no difference) but I also think he doesn't want me to leave (he's very clingy at the moment)

I wonder if it's just an age thing?

I wish I had some advice for you but I will watch for responses/an update and pass on anything that works for us.

So nice to hear we're not alone!

Ha I remember ds doing this. In the end I had to be tough. No toys in cot, lay down and said night night. Would leave for a few mins while he shouted (I said night night and mummy was coming back but time to sleep). I'd come back and usually he'd settle quite quickly. It normally took a couple of goes, leaving the room for about ten mins at most (kind of CC I guess). I was a big softy normally and only did it as fed up. But it worked.

It is good to know that I'm not alone. I have also wondered whether it could be overtiredness causing the problem as there have been times when we have started the bedtime routine earlier and she has fallen asleep whilst being fed. However, it isn't really practical to start it that much earlier than we currently do.

What's her daytime routine look like? 1 nap or 2? when & how long for? I'd be inclined to think the playing around is that she's not tired enough, rather than overtired. I tend to find with my DS that when he's OT he will cry when put down, but then fall into a deep sleep quickly, wake repeatedly during the early part of the night (cryout & back to sleep) & then be restless in the early morning & wake early, unhappy. When he's not tired enough, he takes ages to go to sleep, sleeps soundly but wakes early, and is happy to be up.

If she is still having 2 naps it may be she needs to drop to 1 nap. If she just has 1 nap she might need a routine tweak eg nap pushing a bit later or capping the nap at 2hrs max (if its longer). Post your routine & I'd be happy to take a look.