No idea what's going on with 13MO - PLEASE help me.

[mellowmee]

I wrote a post yesterday, but in need of a new one.

Sleep with DD has gone badly. 10 days ago she was having 2 naps in the day, one at about 9.45ish for about 20mins or so (i would wake her) and another one at about 1.30/1.45ish until about 3 (she would wake up herself), then bed at about 7.30 and sleep through until 6.30am.

She started being difficult going down for each nap and also bed time and also crying in the night a little bit, so I wondered whether she was ready to make the transition to 1 nap (that maybe she wasn't tired enough at either nap time or bedtime). But I had tried this a couple of weeks earlier giving her an early lunch and then a nap at 12 and she would only sleep for an hour and half until 1.30 (and then had an earlier betime and woke up at 5am ready to start the day!)and consequently this time I decided to make her hold out until 1, and then she would sleep until 2.30. She seems styuck on 1 hour and 30mins in the afternoon. Any way i've done this for the last 4 days and things have got worse and she is waking at 5am in the morning and crying in the night and not being able to resettle. Yesterday she was so knackered that we reverted back to 2 naps and I let her have a long 40mins in the morning and the she slept 2.20-3.30 in the afternoon. But last night she struggled to go to sleep and then woke at 1am and would not resettle and I ended up taking her into the single bed with me, which means I get no sleep. Then she was ready to start the day at 5.30am this morning :(

I have no idea where to go from here. I seem to have made everything worse and I don't know if she is overtired, or getting too much sleep in the day which is causing her to sleep badly at night.

I don't know whether to revert back to 2 naps for the time being or try and stick with 1, but maybe give her the nap earlier, maybe at 12, but then she will be so tired by bedtime I think.

any ideas anyone, feeling kind of desperate here and doesn't help that me and DP have just had a huge argument about it (he lets her cry more than me).

thanks, and sorry for the looooooong post! x

she is near;y 14MO. don't know if that makes any difference to her dropping naps.

Hi

This is quite common apparently and we went through it with DS when he was that age. Get Healthy Sleep Happy Child as it explains all in there. Shorter naps and early waking are signs of overtiredness (as was fighting sleep in our son). We found sticking to 2 naps and an early bedtime were what worked for us.

It's also developmental I think. Is she walking yet?

Anyway, get the book (library? eBay?) as it explains all this better than I can. Basic premise is sleep begets sleep!

Were only 11 months, so behind you, but we have a mixture of one and 2 nap days. I can't predict what day will be what, but its the only way I can get it to work.
We sometimes have lunch about 11, with him falling asleep in the high chair, before going to sleep by about 11.15, but it sounds like this doesn't work for you.
Some days we sleep about 10 and again around 3.
Hope it resolves itself soon. Is it possible she's having a growth spurt, and is hungry at 5am?

I don't think she's hungry. She makes a 'nom nom' noise to tell me that she's hungry, but doesn't do this. I'm going to go back to 2 naps for the moment I think, see how she does today and tonight...

how long does your LO nap at 10 and 3 nextphase ?

thanks for the recommendation lotus going to try and find it

nextphase and if your dc has the one nap at 11ish, how long does he sleep for? And when do you do bedtime?

thanks

We had this at 10 months and it turned out she was getting ready to drop the morning nap. She's now 13 months and just has one long nap now. She has lunch at 11.30 then goes down at 12-2ish. She's then shattered and ready for bed till 6.30-7.

It took a while for her to consistently be able to go without her morning nap. I find getting her out the house in the morning helps keep her going.
Good luck!

Thanks facecrack , so did you stick at one nap a day even if she was struggling, or would you sometimes give her 2 naps if you thought she needed it? I can't decide if best to stick with 1 nap and wait for her to get used to it, or to move and back and forth from 1 and 2 naps depending on the day.

I gave her two naps. She would probably sleep for an hour at each nap. As a previous poster said, sleep begets sleep and there is nothing worse than an overtired child.
I've also found DD gets very hungry in the afternoons as she has an early lunch so she needs quite a big snack around 3pm. But then she's always been a hungry baby!

I leave him to sleep til he wakes.
It can be 40 mins, it can be 2 hours (rare). Its usually about an hour in the afternoon, whatever sleep has happened earlier.
Bed is 7-7.30, and I worried the first few times he did it that sleeping 3-4 would result in a late bed, but it doesn't seem to work like that. We're usually up at 6 tho.

Sorry you're havIng trouble. I would put her to bed earlier, say 6.30pm. The book mentioned is by Dr Marc Weissbluth, I'm reading it at the mo and he cites a case study where he recommends über early bedtimes to break the cycle of overtiredness. I think his case study put their son to bed at 5pm!! If you can't get the 2 naps a day to work then maybe try this to make up for it.

This transition period can be really hard work but it does pass.

Hiya, we're also in the transition phase so jus sending some sympathy. DD is 13months today and her daytime sleep has gone bananas. Some days she's having 2 naps, some days one, sometimes they are good ones, some days they're rubbish (she had one 20min nap at nursery last Tues!). I find if we're out she will fall asleep in the pushchair at about 9.30, if we're at home she's fine and doesn't seem toget tired and cranky til about 11. Consequently lunchtime is also all over the shop, just trying to make sure she has a big breakfast and decent snack in case she is on a one nap day. Have been putting her to bed early (6.15-6.30 - bedtime normally 7-7.15) when I can but it's a struggle when I've been at work. DD has always been a reasonably early bird so it's not affecting morning too much, we're on about 50:50 5.15 and 6.00 wakings, which has been normal for about 4 months now.

My theory: the naps are rubbish because her body clock is all over the shop. My plan; wait til things have settled before panicking and just ride it out a few more weeks. Then whn she's used to one nap, gradually shift it later to about 12.30 so we can have some lunch first. Hopefully bedtime will then go back to normal and just maybe she'll sleep in a bit...

Thanks all. We did 2 naps today and they were fine. she had woken at 5.30 and had a nap 9.30 - 10 and then another 1.30-3. I then put her down in her cot at 7, which is 30mins earlier than normal as she seemed tired, but she really struggled to sleep and eventually went off by 7.30, but only by me staying the room with her. It is now 9.30 and she is awake crying her eyes out. I have no idea if she had too much day time sleep, if she is not tired enough or is she over tired. Or something completely different. I don't think she's teething, no signs of it. I can't believe the difference from a baby who could self settle and sleep through just 2 weeks ago.

Only advice I can give at this stage is to try and remain consistent (even if the naps are sometimes 2, sometimes 1) and be patient. Changes rarely happen overnight, even if the negative ones have, and it can take a few weeks for their bodies to adjust. But if each day is different and there's a lack of consistency, it will take a lot longer, IMO.

Hi again, we are not currently having the problem overnight that you are seeing. But I just thought I'd reiterate: I have not found a correlation between number and duration of naps and morning waking hour. However what has been important is to put her to bed early if she seems tired. Yesterday she only managed one 45min nap at 11.30 but slept 6.15-6.00. Tonight she was asleep at 6.20 again. Towards the end of last week I didn't manage to get her to bed so early and she was taking half an hour (of crying) to fall asleep rather than 5 quiet mins and still waking 5.30-6.00am but grumpier.

Not sure that helps, just thought it might be useful to share my experiences! Hope you have a better night tonight.

Is she about to or just walking?