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Sleep

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Original poster

My 11 months old still wake up for his milk at 3 or 4am! Really need help, anyone help pls?

24 replies

Natuk · 10/02/2006 07:38

My son Ryan is still waking up for his milk at 3 or 4am every morning. I actually cried this morning because i was tired!

I given him water, but he sceaming the house down and so i give him by giving his milk. I tried CC but i give in. Because Ryan get himself in a right mess. Some nights he is teething etc.

I am a single mum and some days i am really tired indeed. Ryan only slept throught about 15-20 time. I would love him to slept through!

What shall i do? Any advice please! Many thanks!

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FairyMum · 10/02/2006 07:41

Poor you. I have no advice, but can tell you that all mine have been the same. My DS1 woke for milk twice a night until he was 24 months. Like you I gave in and couldn't do CC. I actually tries CC once, but when he finally fell asleep I felt so guilty and mean so I woke him up to say sorry and give him a cuddle AND SOME MILK. I am sure some posters will come on here later and give you some good advice. I am afraid you have to go with CC. I really think it works and is your only option. I know exactly how you feel xx

leogaela · 10/02/2006 08:38

Natuk, I really sympathise and am also working on the same problem. I struggle even with the help of dh, so am even more sympathetic that you cope with this on your own.

I'm reading a book at the moment that says that not going back to sleep without milk is because that is what they have learnt todo and they have to learn something different. Haven't got far enough with the book to see how they advise to sort out the problem yet though...!

First I started slowly reducing the amount of milk he has when he wakes up at night to be sure he is not hungry
When he wakes up at night I lay him straight back down into bed and pat and stroke his back for a while, don't get him out of bed and don't cuddle him. He usually goes back off to sleep after a while (its more effort than giving him milk, but i hope in time it will pay off). If he doesn't go back to sleep I get up to him one more time, stroke his back, settle him down and then tell him that i am not coming back until the morning and he has to go to sleep on his own (this helps me be determined to stay in bed!). So far doing that he does go back off to sleep on his own after crying for a while. I would get up again if he gets hysterical though. He has been ill so I went back to giving him milk in the night again and we are back at the beginning again !

BonyM · 13/02/2006 14:02

Natuk, my dd2 is almost 11 mths and still wakes for milk anytime between 4.30-5.30am. She then goes back to sleep until about 7.30-8.00am.

I have tried reducing the length of time I am feeding her for (she's breastfed) but doing this has just meant that she wakes again earlier than we would like (ie. about 6.30am which imo is too early to get up!).

I have tried settling her without a feed and whilst she will go back to sleep eventually (after anything from 0.5-1hr), she only wakes again an hour later wanting milk.

I've therefore resigned myself to the fact that she is actually hungry at that time (well it is about 11 hours since her last feed) and that it's the best we're going to do for now. I know that some babies are awake and ready to start the day at about 5.30am so I tell myself that although I would love her to sleep right through, it could be a lot worse.

Maybe you could try to feed him later and later each day until the feed is at an acceptable time?

BonyM · 13/02/2006 14:03

Oh - hi Leo - didn't clock it was you on the first read-through!

Mercy · 13/02/2006 15:01

Is he eating enough during the day?

When ds did this I started giving him a small supper (bowl of cereal or bread & butter) etc just before bedtime, plus a big bottle of milk. It worked for me - it's worth a try at least.

Also, how long does he sleep for during the day?

Tommy · 13/02/2006 15:07

If it's any help, my DS1 slept throught the night from about 8 weeks until a year when he decided to wake up every night wanting a bottle.
In the end we decided to give him a bottle because it only took 10 mins to do and warm the milk up and feed it to him then he would go back to sleep. He did that until he was about 3
I was very anxious and tried all sorts of things but in the end just let him have the milk cos it was easier than not. Maybe not the best way but but it certainly worked for me!
Good luck

Original poster

Natuk · 13/02/2006 15:13

Ryan is having 3 good soilds in the day, Sometime give him a snack before bed-time.

I don't want to do CC yet because he is teething at the moment. I am going to start by reducing his milk from tonight, as i was at my mum all last week.

If that doesn't work, i will try the pick up/down rountine. Has anyone done that rountine?

Many thanks for your advices etc x

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Original poster

Natuk · 13/02/2006 15:16

Mercy, Ryan has a hour in the morning 10.30am-11.30am. Then in the afternoon around 1 1/2 sleep 3-4.30pm.

Ryan goes down at 8pm to 4 or 5am (feed) then sleep till 8ish in the morning.

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laughalot · 13/02/2006 15:18

My little boy is now 19 months and at 10/11 months he was still waking for his bottle i was so tired i had a word with my hv who advised the pick up put down routine and it worked after about 3 nts he now goes down around 7 pm and wakes up at 7 am. Its hard for a few nts but worth it chins up mums

orangina · 13/02/2006 15:18

I read this in The Times this weekend, perhaps it might be of some help to you? Sounds like you really need some sleep....

here

Good luck!

Original poster

Natuk · 13/02/2006 15:20

Thanks orangina, i will take a look now!

Thanks for everyone for their messages!!

OP posts:

orangina · 13/02/2006 15:21

By the way, my dd used to wake for her 4-5am feed every night until I decided I really needed to stop that before I went back to work (7 months). I offered her less and less, and then just water, and then just a cuddle (which she was less than impressed with!). I guess she decided it just wasn't worth waking for eventually and she started sleeping through. It's bliss when they do sleep through, and well worth the pain of getting there. Can equally sympathise with giving him the bottle because it guarantees he'll go back to sleep though.....

Clary · 13/02/2006 15:43

Natuk I would say that you need to be strong on this one or it will become a horrible habit.
Sounds like you have made sure he is eating well in the day (in which case he doesn?t need food at night), also that he is getting enough sleep and activity as well (tricky I know with a 11mo).
Then you need to offer him only water, keep the room dark, don?t talk, make it clear he?s getting nothing worth having by waking you.
Hopefully within a few nights (which may be stressful, hence need to strong) he?ll get the idea. It?s well worth doing at this stage rather than letting it become an engrained habit which is much harder to break.

leogaela · 15/02/2006 08:35

Natuk - aRe you makeing any progress? I think pickupputdown is recommended for babies under 6 months, at this age its better to not take them out of their cot unless they get hysterical.

We have had a bit of success with DS, he seems to have dropped one of his night time wakings and wakes aoround 5 now for milk and then back to sleep until 6.30/7. We are wokring on reducing the 5am milk now.

popsycalindisguise · 15/02/2006 08:43

There are a lot of us in a similar situation (some even worse )

I have no advice but wanted to let you know that you are not alone

Original poster

Natuk · 15/02/2006 15:32

Bloody typical, i was going to start "slowly reducing the amount of milk" on Monday

But the last two nights Ryan has been sleeping till 6.15am or so, from 8am.

I know it won't last long (fingers cross hope so)

If he does wake up 5am in the morning, i am still going to that rountine "reducing the amount of milk he has"

thanks for the messages!

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bobblehead · 16/02/2006 03:25

How can you tell if they are eating enough through the day? My 8.5 month old still wakes every 2 hours for a feed (bf), gulps away and goes straight back to sleep. Personally I don't think she has much in the day, but then I don't know what she actually needs food wise. Is there a way of determining if its hunger or should I assume that at this age she should be able to go longer without milk?
(sorry- hope that makes sense!)

notasheep · 16/02/2006 03:45

bobblehead-i would give more solids to ds.

Well as you can see there is alot of this about-ds is 16months and up between 3 and 4 for 9oz bottle.

Actually had a night out with girlfriend tonight.she bluntly suggessted it was HABIT and it needs to stop.

bobblehead · 16/02/2006 03:54

Somedays I think its habit with dd, but then I know she can get herself to sleep without food so then think its hunger. We stayed in a hotel for the weekend so I shared a bed with her and noticed that she didn't really wake, just rooted around for a nipple with eyes shut, then cried out, which makes me think its hunger.
I'm trying to stuff more solids into her but she hates being spoon fed and is so slow with finger foods she's bored before much has gone in!

notasheep · 16/02/2006 03:59

ds was a big booby boy and seemed to want it all the time,but once the solids were stuffed in life improved.
Maybe you could give dd a spoon to hold at meal times-ds thought it was great fun,then meals werent such a battle ground and the spoon was a toy to him.

Fantastic that you are still breast feeding,I made it to 9 months with ds

leogaela · 16/02/2006 08:51

NAtuk, great to hear you've had a couple of better nights sleep! (theoretically) if he is sleeping through to 6.15 now with no milk and he starts waking up at 5 again surely he shouldn't need milk then either. Try settling him back without giving him milk.

I've been reducing ds's 5am milk and I don't really think he needs it, so tonight I am going to try to settle him without it.

Original poster

Natuk · 16/02/2006 11:15

I wish you luck leogaela!

I still can't believe the last 3 nights now, Ryan has been sleeping till 6.15am or 6.30ish, from 8pm.

For couple of months, Ryan has been waking up at 4am or 5am for his bottle. I agree with you Leogaela, Ryan doesn't need his bottle at 4am or 5am. I'll try and settling him back without giving him milk, if he does wake up etc.

I think it is because i have cut down on Ryan nap time. He has a hour in the morning and afternoon now. I decide not to let Ryan sleep pass 4pm! It is seem to be working (fingers cross)

OP posts:

leogaela · 17/02/2006 19:13

Natuk - the plan has gone down the pan! Niklas is ill again and waking up frequently ! A very early night for me tonight!

How are things with you?

Original poster

Natuk · 17/02/2006 21:57

Thanks for asking leogaela {smile} I am sorry to hear Niklas is ill and waking up frequently. Hope Nikla get well soon!!

Well last night, he slept till 7.30pm to 5.55am (i left him to cried for 20 mins, but i gave in and fed him )

I normally feed Ryan at 7.30pm, then put him down around 7.55pm. Last night he was very tired indeed, i decide to feed ryan early.

I will see how tonight bring!

Thanks x

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