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Original poster

18 months and waking every 2 hours

12 replies

Lianne77 · 28/11/2003 12:07

Hi there my 18 month old just doesnt seem to sleep at all. I am currently 31 weeks pregnant with no2 and am getting 3/4 hours sleep per night. She goes to bed fine (she sleeps in a bed) at about 7.30, she even climbs in herself I sit there with her for a couple of mins and she is normally asleep. The trouble starts at about 12.30am, she wakes up and continues waking right through the night, I normally hear her before she gets out of bed and just go back and settle her down but this can happen up to 8 times a night and I am currently still working part time. The doctor has given me a sedative for her but this doesnt seem to have any effect. She doesnt always cry when she wakes but I just cant see what is waking her up, some nights I take her in with me but she just fidgets for hours and I still cant sleep. Please help, I am crying a lot and really feel at the end of my tether.

OP posts:
Northerner · 28/11/2003 12:09

Hi Lianne. Sympathy to you, this must be awful and I bet you are knackered. Could you not try putting her back in a cot? At least that way when she wakes up she can't get out of bed and she might just go back to sleep again. IYKWIM. I'm sure you'll get loads of advice on here. Good luck.

M2T · 28/11/2003 12:14

A sedative???? Why?

My ds was/is like this. I gave in from an early age and he sleeps in beside from about midnight onwards. Up until recently though he was waking numerous times for a drink of water! It drove me mad.
For your own sanity would she sleep in beside you? I know that people jump on the "OMG don't start that bad habit". Bad habit or not you need sleep and I don't think sedation is the answer in my opinion.

Good luck

CountessDracula · 28/11/2003 12:40

Could you shut her door and leave a pile of books/toys out and tell her to play with those if she wakes up? I don't know that an 18 month old would understand that. How about the rabbit clock, I have heard many people mention it on here, it wakes up when it is time to get up and looks asleep during the night (don't know exactly as have never seen one)

I used to be like this apparantly (thank god dd is not) and my parents used to tell me that I could stay up as late as I wanted and get up in the night if I wanted as long as I stayed in my room.

codswallop · 28/11/2003 12:45

she s cold IMo

Original poster
Lianne77 · 28/11/2003 15:03

Im pretty sure she is not cold as she has a nice warm duvet on her bed and is always in pyjamas. The doctor gave her a sedative basically to help me as I went to him saying I couldnt cope although I have not really given it her yet as she wont take medicine anyway. I do put in her my bed now and again but she is so fidgety she doesnt sleep properly anyway. The annoying thing is some nights she wakes up, I go in and within a minute she is back to sleep but it takes me a good 20 minutes to nod off and then is another 45 mins she is often awake again. What is the rabbit clock? I cant put her back in the cot as the baby is due in 9 weeks and she is currently in the cot bed but will be having a single bed after Christmas. She was like this in her cot and I still had to get up anyway to sooth her, there just seems to be no end to it all at the moment

OP posts:
Clarinet60 · 28/11/2003 21:55

Much sympathy Lianne, you must be shattered. DS2, also 18 months, goes through spells of this, but usually manages more than 3 hour total. His spells only seem to last a few days though, so I put it down to teething. Not sure what to suggest - I think there is a sleep book, but can't remember the title.
Sorry, not much help. I sympathise regarding the sedative as sleep is vital for both of you.

suzywong · 28/11/2003 22:12

Deepest sympathies
We had similar problems but at a slightly earlier age with DS1. Sleep dep is the worst thing about motherhood IMO.
We got a sleep counsellor in to help out. The HV put us on to her, it cost £50 (London rates, may be cheaper elsewhere). she listened to us, met our DS and gave us sensible written instructions to solve the problem over 14 days. I won't bore you with the details. It worked.
The advice was firm, common sense, but the great thing was that once we had paid a third party we felt like someone else was sharing part of the responsibilty, taking part of our torment away and it helped us to see a light at the end of the tunnel and when you get no sleep that is something you crave. It just made us feel supported and that the hell, because it is hell especially for you being PG, would finally end.
It may not get your DD to sleep through the night but it will certainly improve things.
Do try it and good luck

morocco · 29/11/2003 13:13

hi lianne77
what happens when she wakes up - I mean would she scream and shout, does she come in to see you, walk around the house? and do you think you could put her back in her cot for a while so she can't do those things? Are you thinking you need the new cot for baby number 2, cos perhaps you could get away with a moses basket for a couple of months after the birth, giving you a bit longer to crack this sleep problem.
Otherwise, the only thing I can say is that my ds wakes up a fair bit at night but often it's not really waking up, just stirring in his sleep and if I leave him alone a minute or two he falls back to sleep on his own. If it's longer than that I just stick him in the far corner of the spare bed and get in with him so we both get a half decent night's sleep. I'm 27 weeks pregnant so know just how you feel when that wail starts at 3am!

katierocket · 29/11/2003 13:26

hi lianne - poor, poor you I really understand how you feel - we have had similar problems with DS (2yrs) and it is truely awful. It sound to be as thought she has just got hereself into a habit of waking up (although maybe teething or illness has set it off?) especially if she's not cyring when she wakes up.
if this is the case have you considered controlled crying?
Can you put a stairgate at the door to her room so that if she gets out of bed she at least can't get out of the room?
Then I suggest steeling yourself for a few nights of hell. When she wakes up - go to her and tell her firmly that it's time to go to bed, put her back and then go out and close the gate. If she starts crying go through the process of Controlled crying i.e. leave for 5 mins, the 5 mins + 2 mins, etc, even if she is not in her bed. eventually she will get the message.

Re: the sedative - you might find that this will break her habit of waking up. in his book 'toddler taming' - Christopher Green recommends it in cases where parents are totally knackered and just need some temporary respite for one night - I absolutely agree as although it's important to deal with the root cause you also NEED to get some sleep. If you can get even one nights decent sleep maybe you will have the strength to try controlled crying.

sorry for the ramble - hope some of it helps, I totally understand the stage you are at now where you just cry because you're soo tired.

hermykne · 29/11/2003 13:34

lianne did you put her in a bed in preparation for the new baby? and when did that start?

perhaps its to with the "freedom" of the bed
perhapsshe still needs a cot for her to know its night and sleep time not get and go time...

controlled crying gets my vote too.

good luck, you must be exhausted.

vivat · 20/02/2004 09:45

Suzywong - your message could have been written to me. Where in London are you (we're west) and would you recommned your sleep councillor? I just dont know what to do and some outside help would be really useful

bloss · 20/02/2004 12:33

Message withdrawn

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