Never been so tired. Please help with my 8 month old's sleep :(

[TinyDiamond]

Dd is 8 months old and a (lovely) handful at the best of times but recently her sleep has gone to absolute pot and I feel like my life is falling apart as I am so ridiculously tired. It's putting strain on my relationship and I am struggling to see the answer.

She is breastfed and eating well in the day 2-3 small meals + snacks (BLW but that's more her choice than ours she is such an independent woman)
She has always been a very sleepy baby who is so on the go when she's awake that she tires herself out quickly and then needs to nap frequently to refresh. If she doesn't nap she's a NIGHTMARE.

Previously she was waking at 7...bf, play, crawl downstairs until 9 then would need to nap again. Bf again and then she'd nap until 10.30ish.
After that she'd bf, we'd go out, play, activity or whatever and lunch would fit in somewhere and she'd last until between 1-2pm before needing to nap again. Again this nap would last about 90 mins-sometimes even 2 hours.

After that nap more playing or whatever and then bf if she wants it (but often to 'busy' to feed when playing-distracted) I give her dinner at about 6pm then do the bedtime routine which involves a bit of tv to distract her whilst I wash up etc then I bath her, bit of a massage, pjs, dark bedroom she has last bf before bed then I put her down awake and she falls asleep on her own no probs whatsoever.
Until a couple of weeks ago she would wake roughly every 4 hours to feed but it would be a calm affair of her whining, me picking her up her having milk and then me putting her back down drowsy and then she'd go straight back off this would happen 2-3 times between 7 and 7am.

Now is a totally different story she is waking every 2 hours if not more she thrashes wildly in her cot pulls herself up on bars and jumps around, head bangs on sides a lot. All the time crying. Im pretty sure it's frustration as she recently tackled crawling so now walking is the next step.

She is so, so grumpy all the time and I can't settle her in these night Wakings she doesn't want to feed all the time and has never been a cuddly baby. If we have her in our bed she literally just beats us up and scratches, kicks. Punches so that had to stop.

We co sleep in the same room-had sidecar cot arrangement until 2 weeks ago when she came right off out of her cot, across our bed and onto floor quick as a flash and ended up in hospital :(

Now she is in her cot with the side on it and mattress at its lowest a little further from our bed so she can't get out.

No teeth yet always think they're on the way but have thought that for months and then nothing ever happens.

What do I do? I'd like to get her into her own room now but hate the idea of going up and down the landing again and again in the Night. Do I sort sleep first then move her or move her then camp in there with her or what?

Just to add I'm not interested in any CIO advice thanks

Hi,

I know how you feel. My DS is waking between 4 and 8 times a night and won't settle unless he has boob.
I co-sleep with him with his cot pushed up to my bed (single with a frame, but he too will be crawling soon), I don't know what else I can do as he feeds to sleep and wakes if I put him down.
I don't have any advice but perhaps she will cut teeth soon, my lo has his first ones this week.
It's awful, I feel like a zombie.
I shall keep an eye out for others advice and let me know if you have any progress.
Sorry I can't help. :(

Thanks for the support though

I had this so you have my sympathies! You really need to move your dd into her own room as she knows you are there. When my ds was 8 months old and I was in a really bad state, not sleeping at night I decided to be really strict. It was the best thing I could have done. Just start checking on her when she cries at night, checking a bit less each night and I assure you she will soon get the message. I did this and my ds has slept through the night ever since, which was 7 years ago!

What exactly do you mean by being strict? Do you mean go in, check and then leave? Refuse feeds? Etc

Think I'd be tempted to move her too. Both my boys were in their own rooms by that age, both were difficult sleepers, in their own ways. They both slept much better, however, when they had their own space.

Oh, and I did go into them when they needed it - DS1 in particular was very hard to settle, for many years. But it was better when he was in his own room.

It's the 8 month sleep regression. It's as frustrating for them as it is for us. They are physically developing at a mammoth rate, practising crawling, starting to stand, cruise, talk etc. Their sleep is interrupted because their brains can't switch off.

It will pass.

I am so glad I have found this thread! My 8 month old has also gone potty! Were on holiday ATM so can't do cc. I'm just getting her in with us until we get home then I'm hoping to do cc

THANKS SOH!! Knew all about the 4 month one...oh my did I know. But wasn't aware of 8 months will stick it out

I found the 8 month one very hard with dd. And 7.5 month old ds is just starting to get there too. They're so much more physically able but really not quite there yet. So they can pull up a bit and move around but not quite as reliably as you'd hope. So their bodies are trying hard to practise which results in falling over, bashing their heads. rolling into tight corners, wriggling about and banging their heads while still asleep, standing up while asleep and then waking up in a panic. Chuck in starting to talk, changed sleep patterns during the day, teething, separation anxiety and general wtfness of just being an 8 month old and well, it's tough.

It's also hard because at 4 months they're less aware of possibilities outside sleep. An 8 month old knows there are books and toys and games and songs and actually I'm up now so LET'S PLAY. DS taps me on the nose at 3am and asks for 'nana'. It's almost cute. Only almost.

It will pass and you just get through it however you can. I struggled with it with dd because the normal stuff you did with a newborn (napping during the day, bugger the housework etc) seems a bit luxurious with an 8 month old. But really you do what you have to.

It's not the time for sleep training at all. They can't help it. They actually cannot switch off the part of their brain which controls the developmental leaps they're making. So it's not so much that they won't self settle or sleep well but that they can't. I think it's important to always remind yourself (really tough at 3am when 'sleep, please just bloody SLEEP' is going round and round your head) that they are as frustrated as we are. It's not wilful, it's not that you haven't trained them properly and there's no solution immediately. Generally once it passes you get back to the same patterns as before and then's the time to gently address anything that needs tweaking.

DSs sleep turned awful around 7/8 months and hasn't really recovered since at 14 months. He had previously slept through from 14 weeks. So I might not be much help.

What does she want when you go in? If you sit next to her cot without taking her out does she fall back asleep? She is probably ready to night wean now so I would just comfort from the side of her cot and gradually start moving away over a week.

Me too - think teeth are responsible. I had improved things but we are going backwards for the moment..... Just going to try and survive for the moment and get more sleep trainy in a few weeks. She's 8.5 months.