6 month old - impossible to get to sleep! Please help!!!

[Igglefriggle]

Hello I'm hoping someone will have the magic solution for me! Well at least some sympathy as I feel like a weepy zombie. Dh has just gone to work and I have no idea how I'll make it through today!

DS2 is 6 months. He is ebf (we are blw so slow going). He used to be bf to sleep. Now he will fall asleep on the breast but it is impossible to get him into the cot or off me. He had his bath at 7 as usual. 720-1245pm last night was spent in a cycle of feeding him, trying to get him into the cot, failing and then huge crying fits. Dh spent at least an hour of that rocking him to sleep. He will not be put in cot awake and tired - huge screaming fit. Naps pretty shocking too. Will only sleep in buggy or on me or sling. Because of ds1 i dont have hours to s and try and get him sleeping in his cot. It's really the nights I struggle with. I have zero time with dh and our relationship is really suffering. I've read ncss and the Pantley pull off was a huge fail.

My only solace was that ds1 was vaguely similar - now a great sleeper.

Any ideas re what to do before I have a breakdown? Thank you!!!

sorry iggle i'm no help to you whatsoever! just wanted to say that we're going through similar with DS (also 6 mo)- bath and book at 7, feed then into cot where he'll sleep for maybe an hr, then waking every hr or so through the night for feeds. cant put him into cot awake and tired as he screams, and now he just co-sleeps with us when we come to bed.
tbh co-sleeping is the only thing thats kept me relatively sane, so all i have to do when he wants yet another feed is roll him over, feed then roll back. gave up trying to settle him in cot after each night feed cos i'd spend and hr getting him to sleep then he'd wake 5 mins after cos he's hungry again. hopefully someone more helpful will come along soon and put us both out of our misery!!!!

with all these sleep issues and probs feeding its no wonder i look so haggard!

We're going through exactly the same, though DS is 5 months.

I did the Gradual Retreat method of sleep training with my daughter when she was 10 months - a slightly couched version of controlled crying where you stay in the room with them while they cry until they settle themselves (you don't pick them up or talk to them - but they know you are there so they don't feel abandoned). Over the next few days you move closer and closer to the door. It took 5 days for my daughter to get it and was a fab sleeper... until DS arrived!

At the moment I'm putting him in his cot at 7 - lots of crying and feeding - at about 1am I give up and he comes in with me.

Ah - wow! Not just me then!! Yes, we mainly co sleep too , when I give up. Thanks for the replies. Makes me green with envy when I read about children 'being put down to sleep!' hahaha!!

Another one going through the same thing. It's a nightmare but, op, you have given me hope that your first dc was similar and is now a great sleeper. How and when did the change happen?

ha, if sleep doesnt improve i'll be the one getting "put down"!!!!!!!!!!!

I know - I was really determined that this time round my child was going to 'get it' but he just hasn't. Where did I go wrong? - twice!

And if he wakes in the night it's impossible to just leave him because he's really crying.

And he can't be hungry because I feed him virtually every 90 minutes!

Having a rant because it's been 5 months of disturbed sleep and I think I'm falling apart! So so tired. I just want a break.

I can't remember. I think at 18months or so (!!!) he was happy to go down awake. I can't believe I made it through til then. I too wanted better habits and feel like I've failed again...:(

Another looking haggard mummy here!! DD is 5 months and is EBF! Her sleep is awful at the mo! She use to go down around 8/9pm then wake around 4/5am for a feed then would go till 7.30ish!! Now she is so hard to settle! She refuses to have a nap in the day and the moment she comes off my boob and realises she is in her cot then the crying starts!! Now waking 2 hourly for feeding through the night and day!! I'm a zombie! Have 2 other dc to look after. I don't get anything done during the day! Literally nothing!! Please tell me it's going to get better!!

Me too. Ds is only 4 months, but I'm still sat here in tears after another 2 hour session of trying to get him to sleep. He's ebf and won't take a bottle so it's just me all the time, and I feel so guilty for feeling so sick of him at night. During the day he's lovely, but it's driving me to tears endlessly feeding him and being up to him every hour and a half. I put him down roughly tonight and had to leave the room, and because of this stupid breastfeeding no one can help me. Like other posters, this has to get better right? Or have I fucked it up?

Marking my place with my 6 month old DD. It's definitely tougher than tough with an EBF bottle refuser. Very sick of the mums I know who are members of the "my baby slept through from 6 weeks" club. Aaarggh!
Give it a rest!

Sorry no advice but you definitely aren't alone!

I came on this board to ask a similar question. My baby's 7 months and has, for several months now, wanted a late bedtime (9.40pm tonight, and he'll be awake for another feed in 40 mins). I've tried getting him up earlier in the morning, I've tried denying him his 6pm-ish nap, but nothing works. And he also used to be easy to get to self-settle in his cot, but we've taken to co-sleeping just to get some rest. I want my evenings back.

Tonight he just would not settle - he was so tired and fighting it - dreadful. And I know he's too young to start sleep training, but tonight I resorted to sitting on the floor next to his cot with my back to him. I didn't pick him up and eventually he went to sleep (after an hour of heavy screaming).

I hate this - EBF and refuses a bottle. Rod. For. My. Own. Back.

To top it off DD (2yrs 9mths) had the biggest tantrum about bathtime - kicking screaming throwing herself around. My nerves are shattered.

Pass me the gin bottle.

The only saving grace is that i feel there is a small band of us going through exactly the same thing at probably exactly the same time somewhere else in the country.

I'm going to phone the HV tomorrow and see what they suggest.

Thanks for replying. I think this must be pretty common! My DS is also a bottle and dummy refuser. Its suffocating isnt it. Currently stuffing some pizza in whilst DH has a go at rocking him.

I too feel really guilty. Guilt about the toddler, guilt about the rage I feel at 2am , guilt that I havent 'sorted' sleeping, guilt that his naps are bad.

Feel a little better knowing Im not the only one. Hope you ladies have an ok night. Guess they wont be like this at 18,eh, on the bright side.....

That should be stuffing Pizza into me!! Hahaha! (maybe pizza would help him sleep....?!?) :)

At 18 I'll probably still be awake, just with wondering what exotic future drugs he's taking and whether the police will be bringing him home for hover boarding recklessly.

Mmmm. Pizza. I ate chocolate and wine earlier, probably doesn't help really. Was still crying, but have stopped now. Felt better after ranting about guilt about already being a shit parent.

Am going through this too. Dd nearly 5 months and fed/cried from 7-11 yesterday evening. Rocking or trying to settle her in the cot simply leads to full on screaming. Naps during the day are 40 mins maximum, but sometimes only 20 mins, even when we're out for a walk.

I have always said I would do cc at 6 months if I had big sleep problems, but I am now considering doing it earlier. Dd is often tired during the day (wakes from naps crying and is yawning again within 10 mins. She also ends up crying so much as I try to settle her that it might as well be 'constructive' ie part of a sleep training technique.

I think dd will be a happier baby if I can improve her sleep and she will certainly benefit from having a happier better rested mummy. I haven't quite got to the point of doing it, but feel I'm not far off.

When I did sleep training for my DD a couple of years ago, the HVs said that the day sleep was as important as the night sleep. And if you managed to get a routine and decent amount of day sleeps in the cot, then the night would be a lot better too. I think this was true and really worked with DD.

But the problem is, life gets in the way of setting a routine for DS. I have to drive my daughter to nursery 3 mornings a week, where he falls asleep in the car, but then wakes when we get home half an hour later. Then he sleeps again when I pick her up at 12. The schedule is all over the place.

The otherthing the HVs said was the bedtime routine should be set in stone - last bf downstairs on the sofa, bath (cooling down after a bath helps promote the production of melatonin the sleep hormone) then a story and lay on the cot to get himself to sleep.

The reason the last bf was done before the bath was to break the cycle of expecting to be bf to sleep, and to stop the association of the bedroom with feeding.

Like I say it all made total sense with my DD but she was a bit older and it was so much easier to do a routine when there is just one of them!

i get what your HV means walk but problem with DS is that even if i do give him a decent feed just before bath, he's screaming for another as soon as he's out the bath and we're dressing him for bed. not sure how to deal with that one tbh.
was thinking about some form of sleep training, but am a bit worried that with him waking atm every 2 hrs (which is improvement from the hourly feeding!!), i'll literally feed him, spend 2 hours trying to settle with cc/pick up n put down methods (or whatever - not decided best way forward here), then he'll wake for next feed within minutes of going to sleep. really dont know whether to give it a go, or wait a few more weeks n see if things improve as he's on more solids (am prob deluding myself with that one!!)

So at 2pm I decided he needed a nap in his cot. I went up, put him in it, turned on the mobile and ... ta da... he went to sleep. Hopefully this might make night time settling a bit more peaceful...

dd 4 months, same thing.
:)

we're co-sleeping, and she comes to bed with us.
she hardly ever naps during the day (except by force! pram-pushing or rocking in the bouncing chair), and she seems to cope on the sleep she gets at night.

I'm perfectly happy with the co-sleeping - as she feeds, I go to sleep. I wake up again when she wakes up (or before if I think she's been asleep too long! )
she does get fussy when I go to the toilet in the night though!!
I leave her side and she cries. :(
it's like she's got to be within a millimetre of my boob all night!

I was in the same situation about 2 weeks ago - DD is just over 6 months. She had got to the stage where she was waking every 2 hours at night and needed a breastfeed everytime to settle back to sleep. Daytime naps were really inconsistent - sometimes 20 mins, sometimes 3 hours!! (usually dependent on how badly the previous night had gone!) I also have a 3.7 DS who is very energetic so no chance of catching up on sleep in the day!

2 weeks ago we decided enough was enough and we had to do something about it for everyones sake!! Our HV said that once babies double their birthweight they should be capable of going through the night without a feed as long as they are getting enough milk during the day. DD is more than double her birthweight and hoovers between the 75th and 90thcentile! So we decided to try controlled crying - I know that not everyone agrees with this method but I had done it before with DS and knew it worked. The first night was awful - she was not amused and very little sleep was had all round! But the second night she slept 10hours straight! Now 2 weeks on she is consistently sleeping well (generally 7.30pm - 6.30/7.00am) - she's like a different baby - so happy and smiley - and her daytime naps have all just fallen into place too, now having a morning nap and afternoon nap of between 1-2 hours each.

It's obviously not for everyone and it is hard but am so glad we did it! There is a light at the end of the tunnel!! :)