Advice needed on DP putting 22m.o. DD to bed for the first time..x

[mammainlove]

DD is 22mo. We've always co slept with her and I've always cuddled her to sleep. DC2 arriving in a month. DP needs to start putting DD to sleep.. Has anyone any advice on how to start this? We've tried it in the past and she's cried uncontrolably.

If your looking for a gentle way and want to continue co sleeping then Maybe try both of u laying down with her and then after a week or so let him try on his own?

We have but she gets very hyper then and wants to play. Thank u x

I'm listening to my dd crying so much upstairs without me as dp putting her to sleep, she sounds like she's choking. This is so painful! What do I do??!

No advice but wanted to offer you support, I have 17 month old twins and we usually have them both in bed with us by the morning I am sooooo looking forward to a night on my own!

I know It's hard but stick it out!

Same thing happened to me. I had always cuddled and put DD1 to sleep. When I was pregnant with DD2 (DD1 was 19 months), I asked DH to start doing the bedtime routine. DD1 screamed and cried at first (for at least a week if I remember correctly), but now she is more or less fine (now 29 months). She does occasionally want to stay with me (2-3 times a week, she cries and cries when DH takes her upstairs). DH is really good about it as he tries to distract her who songs and stories. This really helps with me bf and doing DD2's bedtime.

Good luck!

She is asleep on me now, fell asleep in seconds hugging me so tight. She was crying so much she was choking and struggling to breath.. No parent who loves their child would let this happen for too long, it was torture! DD was wrestling DP so much he couldnt keep her away from the door! I'll just have to put her and new baby to sleep. There must be a way.

Perhaps you could try going out so she knows you are not actually there? DS would usually settle better if he knew I was not about, although still tricky. I had (still have actually to some extent) this same issue with DS (now 5) and when DD was due my Dsis came to stay with him while I was in hospital (DP was there too). He was a little older by then admittedly. DP was unable to get DD to settle while I was upstairs settling DS either! He was once supposed to watch her while I took DS up and fell asleep on the sofa right next to the moses basket and I woke up upstairs to her screaming and screaming (only a couple of months old so I was very ). I had fallen asleep next to DS while putting him to sleep and goodness knows how long she had been yelling for to wake me up .

You could concentrate on changing the format of bedtime routine like I did. You could make a simple picture book to show DD the new routine and read it to her at bedtime - or a picture story for the wall? Perhaps you can sit at the bottom of the bed or next to DD feeding the baby? Or perhaps daddy can work up to doing little bits of the bedtime routine a bit at a time and then look after the new baby for the bit while you stay with DD as she goes to sleep. It is tough the first few months with a toddler and a newborn but it does get easier when the newborn becomes more predictable and less needing you constantly. I got through it the best I could by feeding baby if necessary while reading to DS (showed him how to hold book and turn pages for us, DP had newborn DD and brought her up if necessary).

Aww just read your most recent update. It is so hard listening to them cry, I agree. I now end up taking DD (now 2) up first at about 7pm, reading books and cuddling her on my bed and moving her while asleep. Then DS (now 5) comes up and I read his books. He (to reassure you) was put to sleep like your DD in our bed until age 2 - then I lay next to him in his own bed until he was asleep. He now comes up ready for bed, has a bedtime story and I stay with him chatting for 5 minutes (on a timer) then say goodnight and go downstairs. Often he's in bed with me by time I come back up but that's fine IMO . No regrets doing it whatsoever.

Thank you. That does sound reassuring.. In a way I am quite relieved that we've tried and I know I don't want to go through that again. It simply doesnt feel right. I know I am soft with dd, and I get pressure from friends and relatives that 'she needs her own room' and 'u won't be able to be that soft when baby arrives!' etc.. I love being soft and close with her. She and daddy are close but she is simply too used to me puting her to sleep. I like your suggestions such as taking it in turns putting them to sleep, although dp often works late shifts so it won't always be possible..if necessary like u did, feed the baby to sleep whilst reading to toddler? In theory this sounds lovely. I hope it works with us!

I am quite worried about what will happen whilst I'm in labour though! She is close with grand parents, but again they've never put her to bed and after tonight, I'm very reluctant to be apart from her at bedtime! Wish I could be excited about new baby coming, rather than so worried about everything..

Thanks for support mammas xx more advice very welcome.

I think you are right there - her whole life will be turned a bit upside-down when the baby is here, so if you can have her bedtime still cuddly and close with you, she will find it a comfort. DS used to wake in the middle of the night too when DD was awake and crying - he would come in and at first it as hard as he would want to talk to me and stuff. He soon got used to just going to sleep again though. It was hard at first, but with two you do often have to fit the little one into the big one's routine rather than the other way around. Fortunately a newborn will know no different.
I was given some advice on here on promoting sibling harmony by treating the older sibling as 'the big girl/boy' and sharing your feelings about the baby to allow them to share theirs. So...when the baby wakes up AGAIN you roll your eyes (jokingly) and say "Pah! Babies eh!?" etc while showing very much that you appreciate having a big girl or boy around. I remember taking DS out for a posh (children's) hot milk with cream and sprinkles and flake on the side, and a cake. I explained to him that DD couldn't have it as she was still too little, so we were having this lovely treat while she slept as she would wonder why she couldn't have any . In fact, she did wake up during and he earnestly explained to her in her pram that unfortunately she was just a tiny girl but that maybe she could have it when she was bigger like him . I think things like that helped him as he could see the benefits of being the older one and he didn't resent his little sister (he actually seemed quite sorry for her and apologetic!).