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How do I get my 3YO to stop getting up every night?

9 replies

bean612 · 15/04/2012 08:20

That's it really. DD has always been a bad sleeper but for the last few weeks (months? It's all a blur...) she has been getting up virtually every night, sometimes two or three (or even four) times. She usually just wants putting back to bed, which I wouldn't mind so much except that then I/DH can't get back to sleep and lie awake, sometimes for hours (partly because I'm anticipating her coming back, even though often she doesn't). The whole thing is then made worse by the fact that she's also an early waker (5, 5.30, 6 if we're lucky), so she's back at that time, after which point we let her into our bed and she often goes back to sleep for an hour or two with us - but I/DH don't, really, and as a result we're both almost permanently knackered.

I'm not so bothered about the early waking, largely because I know from experience (and from what I hear/read) that it's the one virtually unsolvable sleep issue. But the night-time wakings are a different matter. What on earth can we do? Is there any sort of sleep training for a 3-year-old? I'm absolutely certain she'd scream the house down, and I'm keen to do something more gentle, but on the other hand that's what we're doing now (carry back to bed, tuck in, kiss, sometimes stay with her for a minute, but literally only a minute) and it's clearly not solving the problem. For a long time I kept trying to tell myself it was just a phase, but it feels like the longest phase in the world.

The other problem is that DH and I are considering TTC no.2, but the thought of having to deal with a baby waking at all hours (normal, of course) on top of this just fills me with dread...

OP posts:
laracroft2001 · 15/04/2012 10:09

Baby gate on her bedroom door?

Though she may just scream anyway lol!

lifesrichpageant · 15/04/2012 17:37

I could have written this!! Except we also have a younger dc who also wakes at night.
Anxiously awaiting advice....(stair gate has been ordered)

bean612 · 15/04/2012 20:11

Ah, lifesrichpageant, really? That makes me feel slightly better! To not be suffering alone, I mean, not the fact that you're suffering Grin. How old are your DC, out of interest? I've been pestering DH for ages about no.2 and that's the thing that's bothering me the most, tbh - the idea of having not 1 but 2 children who don't sleep properly.

laracroft, thank you - I did consider this but think ultimately 1. she would scream herself silly, then 2. simply climb over it (she's tall for her age, and agile, and I don't think she'd have much trouble). Sigh.

OP posts:
MarkStretch · 17/04/2012 01:44

I have no advice, just the same bloody problem! DS is 3.2yrs and keeps getting up, last night it was 5 times, twice tonight so far, hence me posting at nearly 2am. He has milk at bedtime and wakes up wanting more and more milk which I am reluctant to give him as too much and he just wets the bed.

When he gets up he has a wee then is hungry/thirsty/tummy ache/headache/not tired. Tonight he threw all the pillows and duvet off his bed in protest! I have stop him napping during the day and he's tired at bedtime, I've been making sure he does physical activity during the day, scooting, walking, running, football. He MUST be tired cos of the broken sleep but STILL he gets up!! He never used to do this, its been in the last month or so. I'm at my wits end!

MrsProcrastinator · 18/04/2012 06:48

Hi, I'm joining this thread cause I have the same problem! DD 3.5 waking at least 3 or 4 times a night. I am so knackered! Lately I have been putting her in our bed just so I can get a bit of sleep.
When she is in her room and she wakes up in the night she stands at the gate (we have a stairgate near her room as she would have to go down and up stairs to our room) And she screams and cries. Sad

This morning we have been up since 5.00am and that doesn't include the multiple wakings in the night. Sad

MrsProcrastinator · 18/04/2012 06:50

Forgot to add, we have an older child who has been sleeping all night from about the age of 5. Smile

IWantATowel · 19/04/2012 09:49

I have this problem too with my 2 year old ds. He wont go to sleep without me in the bed at night & then wakes around 2 or 3 times (sometimes lots more on a bad night). Both times I have left him to cry it out he has got himself so worked up within 5 minutes that he throws up and I have to cuddle him to calm him down. I've not had a nights sleep since he was born & it's making me bloody miserable Sad

bean612 · 19/04/2012 14:11

IWantATowel I'm really sorry to hear about that - it's bloody tough isn't it? I do at least get to alternate nights with DH, plus DD has had phases (even if they seem like very distant phases now) of sleeping through. As far as I can see the only options are either co-sleeping or the Supernanny-type "take back to bed without speaking" 45 times a night kind of approach. Neither of which I fancy much (would love to co-sleep with DD if I actually slept...).

OP posts:
Zoidberg · 20/04/2012 17:36

I can't offer any advice, sorry, but I just wanted to sympathise, hugely. DD is 3 next week and has slept through twice in her life, wakes up a few times a night and comes into bed with me. She too is sick within minutes of getting upset and at night she's only half awake really so prone to getting upset, so I don't feel we can do anything other than go with it.

She just wants to be near me, as we adults share a bed I can see why she would want to. But still, 3 years of sleep deprivation is very tough, and not knowing when it will end because I never imagined it would go on this long, argh Shock

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