Breastfed 7 Month old waking hourly

[frankieb70s]

Hi,

I know people have posted about this many times before, but I thought I would let you know what's been going on with my lo and any suggestions would be most welcome.

My lo has only ever been fed to sleep and has never been able to be put down to sleep, he would only ever sleep on my lap or next to me in bed whilst being fed, hence the reason we co-sleep. He never took to his cot, never (and still won't) accepted a dummy or a bottle, he hates being swaddled.
Until now I have just accepted this is his way and have tried to 'go with it'.
He has just turned 7 months and for the last 3 weeks has been waking hourly, turning to me and rooting. Sometimes he does feed, sometimes he doesn't, just comforts himself. ( he has never slept great but now it's really bad).

Going 'cold turkey' isn't an option.
I don't even know how I'm supposed to 'drop' feeds either when he gets really very upset if I don't give him boob, if I don't it also wakes him up even more.

He did sleep around 3 times a day, no routine, just as and when he got tired, but then I tried to cut this down to 2 naps, in the pram so he got out of the habit of feeding to sleep, but this was too much in the evening and when bedtime came round he was overtired and screaming.

My friend advised me of a daytime nap programme where he doesn't stay awake for more than 2 hours between naps, to put him in a darkened room.
I have been trying this but he won't go to sleep until at least 2.5-3 hours after previous sleep. If he only has 2 sleeps he's overtired.
I'm struggling to find a balance. All sleep and feed times seem to be different everyday and I can't get a routine going because he naps for different lengths everytime.

Help, I feel I'm doing it all wrong and am trying to keep up something that was invented for super woman.

Sorry for long post.

:)

Not much advice but wanted to say you are not doing it wrong, you sound like a very caring mummy who really wants the best for her baby. Someone will be along soon with some proper advice but in the meantime don't beat yourself up about it- babies are a moving target and I don't think anyone feels like they are doing it 'right' most of the time! (well at least I don't )

Again sorry not much advice as am expereincing similar problems also. My little one is 6 months and has been waking 1-2 hourly in night for past week or so. Will be watching for advice also!!!

Sounds like you might feel like it's easier to cope if you have some sort of routine - but this will mean you structuring his days and nights and possibly waking from naps etc? Are you comfortable with this?

Your friend's advice about not keeping awake longer than 2 hours is relevant for younger babies, but by 7 months, many are able to go longer which is probably why your DS can, and why you're confused!

The last thing you want to overtiredness so if he still needs three naps a day, stay with it. You've got a couple of 'issues' to deal with - the self-settling at night and the regular naps during the day which will help with good nighttime sleep. I would decide on naptimes during the day (and length of naps) and do everything you can in the first fortnight to get him into this rhythm of sleep. Take him out in the car, in the pushchair, or sling - wherever he'll sleep best. I would make the morning nap shorter and the lunchtime nap longer (a good two hours ideally). He can then have a catnap a couple of hours before going to sleep to avoid overtiredness.

The nighttime bit is harder for me to know what to say as I've never co-slept and formula fed (so totally the opposite from you!) and my DD dropped her middle of the night feed at 4 months (although we continued with her 10pm dream feed until 7 months after she was weaned onto solids). Hopefully, once the daytime naps are longer and more consistent, the nighttime sleep will improve. I'm sure there's no reason why you can't combine good nighttime sleep with co-sleeping but as I said, I'm not the right person to ask! good luck.

I thought every 2 hours was a bit unrealistic, he seems to get tired around every 2.5 or more hours. Yesterday went well and seemed quite structured with a short nap in the morning, longer nap after lunch then a nap at 5. I fed him dinner at 4pm instead of later, this was a carby meal with oats, we even had to time to bath him before bed, then was asleep by 8:15. He slept well to start with but after 2am he woke for a suck every hour.
Trying to get a routine established is not easy.
Try again today.
I'm keeping an eye out on other threads but a lot seem to be for older or younger babaies, I guess it's all the same really.
Thanks for replies :)

Just need to point out he still woke frequently between 8:15-2am. :(

Hello my 5mo has been doing the same - no advice I'm afraid.

I have the no cry sleep solution book which is very good. Just no brain power to read it.

Do you think he's genuinely hungry during the night? At 7 months, it's not usually through hunger that they feed so regularly at night, more through comfort and habit. Nothing wrong with this if you don't mind, but if you want to get him waking less regularly you'll need to change things.

Am reading a really good book about sleep habits by Dr Marc Weissbluth and he says that after the first few months, disrupted sleep is largely caused by parenting practices. Not in a blamey way, just that's what he's observed.

I'm not sure if it's me waking him up, possibly.
He turns and hits me with his mouth open ready so I feel terrible not giving it to him. Maybe I've made a rod for my own back. I can't do the whole crying thing, it breaks my heart.
I know he does feed because he's hungry but also out of comfort.
What does the no cry sleep solution involve? I've heard of it.
:)

Sorry, I don't mean you waking him up, it's more that practices such as feeding to sleep and co-sleeping encourage waking (in his opinion).

How do you know he's hungry? Does he take a full feed every time? Surely not possible every hour or so?

No Cry Sleep Solution is a book by Elizabeth Pantley. I didn't find it much use but a lot of people swear by it.

Can't remember what it involves but it's all about tips to help with sleep training that involves no crying. Very gradual I think and I just coulnd't get my head around it. She is a huge advocate of the 'family bed' so may be a good starting point for you?

Hi I haven't read it yet but she's a advocate of Breast feeding and co sleeping. It's the complete opposite of cry it out!

I had this with my then 6 month old and somehow I stopped it - I think by not feeding to sleep but rocking the for and then trying not to feed except 3-4 hourly. She's now 8 months and still feeds at night but I can take her off the boob and she doesn't root for it.

It didn't involve much crying really and is so much better now.

Feeding to sleep and in their sleep etc means they want to nipple back when they stir... Like a dummy.

Try finding another way to soothe? Like rocking? It stopped the hourly waking for me (tho I only get 3/4 hours now!) got to work on that now....

We were awake every 4 hours, now it's every hour.

DD seems hungry though and only feeding to sleep seems to work, she is 6 months.

How are you getting on OP?

My lo feeds hourly in the run up to new teeth (she's 9mo with 7 teeth... has a routine she goes through for each one !). She'll usually have a good couple of weeks of unsettled nights before something pops through the gums, and will comfort suck like crazy.

Just thought it worth mentioning it's not always about food and naps :-)

Thanks for the replies.

I know he feeds out of hunger because he has a good feed that lasts a while, this happens around every other waking.

He still wakes up loads, but last night I moved into the spare room and put the cot bed up against the bed frame and secured it. It was uncomfortable because I was feeding uphill, so I am sorting the mattress level today. He kept waking but I think the new cot was to blame, he seemed fascinated with the different bedroom.

I am giving him 3 half hour naps during the day (he won't have longer than this) with set meal times, bath before bed etc. It structures my day a bit but doesn't have any effect on his night sleep. :( Dissapointing really.

What helped get my ds to sleep better was sending my dh in to settle him instead of me: got him off the night boob thing quite well and much easier than me trying to do it. We did it at 13 months so a bit older but my ds was quite unwell from four to six months so we did a lot of coddling after that.

Come join us on the high need baby support thread in this topic. There are loads of us going through the same thing - you're not alone

We had similar problems around a similar age with ds, although he sleep in his cot. I tried lots of things, found the no cry sleep solution book really useful, as very gentle ideas for sleep deprived people who cant stand listening to crying baby on top on very little sleep!

Not quite sure if it was one thing, a combination or just riding it out, but things are improving now. We tried a more structured nap routine, so he had morning and after lunch naps, although he has never napped for long, excpet on rare occassions, i used to worry about this, when i stopped worrying he started sleepings better.

We stopped letting him feed to sleep, so he feeds to sleepy, then we use pantley pull off, from no cry sleep soution book, where you break the latch when sucking slows and eyes are closed, she does say they might cry a little and to let them back on, you may have to repeat a few times, before they let you, she also says something about gently putting your fingers on thier jaw, but suggest you read to make sure i have rememebred this correctly.

We have built up the amout ds eats, although i think this has happened just because he is older, so perhaps not something he would have been able to do at 7 months, and in particular has some toast and yogurt or pureed fruit around 2.30, in addition to breakfast 7.30/8 lunch around 11.30/12, and supper around 4.30/5.

We also have a monkey with easy to grab arms legs and tail which he likes very much and helps him back to sleep, he is known as night ranger monkey.

Although i was very happy to do all of these things and i do believe contributed to better sleeping, i do also think that so much hapens for them between 6-9 months that maybe it just takes a while to settle into better sleeping patterns, i met a lovely lady with three boys at the doctors surgery, who said both her older two had taken until 9 months to start sleeping properly, which i cling to a ds is just 9 months now, and starting to show signs of better sleep.

Hi
You're not alone. My advice is based on experience of this exact problem. I didn't fix it till my DS was 12 months as I was too tired and unable to let him cry at all. This topic occupied my life too until very recently.

Get really in tune with sleepy signs. If he needs 2.5 hours between sleeps, let him have it, and make it an active time.

Try to keep a rhythm to the day even if timings are a bit different.

Try to get up at the same time each day to set the rhythm of the day. Easier said than done with a non-sleeper!!

Hide your boobs at night and ONLY allow feed at those times you think he's really hungry (11 and 3 maybe). Be prepared for some protesting, but giving in will only make him keener! He may seem to be feeding fully because you're having let downs because he's sucking so much. Just means more wet nappies, not necessarily that he NEEDS the milk.

No Cry Sleep Solution has loads of good ideas (side-car cot, Pantley Pull Off...) but in my opinion this book encourages you to keep letting the baby back onto the boob as soon as they protest/don't seem to be settling. I think this practice had the opposite of the desired effect and actually taught the little sucker that hanging off the nipple all night is the only way to sleep. And that mummy is a dummy!

It took me a long time, and I'd NEVER advise it for a small baby (under 6 months or so) but I finally realised that my son needed to LEARN what was acceptable at night and this did involve some tears. Everyone had been telling me this for ages.

It's not easy and you'll do what needs to be done when you're good and ready! Sorry to say that he probably won't just grow out of it.

Hi, lots of good advice here.

Just wanted to let you know that it does get better.

DS1 gave me the same problems, as he just didn't like solids much and was genuinely quite hungry.

He's now 16 and refuses to wake up unless there appears to be a genuine emergency and/or copious quantities of caffeine have been delivered to his bedside.

Just saying.

cake
Agree with tancub that at night hiding your boobs is a good idea, i am not sure how practical, but as our ds sleeps in a cot, we tried sending my husband in to settle him, so he got a little attention and some help going back to sleep, but not a feed every time he woke?
Hope you have had a better night?

I wrapped myself in a quilt when we were sharing a bed-with-cot-attached set-up. He'd come rampaging over and I'd just refuse. I admit sometimes it was relentless and I gave in esp in the wee hours. Guess that's why progress plateaued before I decided I'd had enough and got a bit tougher. Much sympathy x

It'll take time for a routine to work. Also assuming you started solids around 6 months, that can cause issues eg wind as they get used to digesting new foods (green veg was a killer for that). Babies usually move towards a 2/3/4 pattern for naps (first nap 2 hours after waking, second one 3 hours after waking then 4 hours to bedtime).

Ds was a nightmare sleeper as is his 4.5 month old DD. however their issues stem from reflux and they're very windy so like boob for comfort. I had to wait until they got older before we saw significant improvement.