I have really screwed up.

[jaffa19]

My poor little boy must be so confused. I started controlled crying last night and then gave in :( Don't know what to do next. Here's the (long) background...

Up until a couple of weeks ago (he's 10 mo) he was on 3x naps a day, self settling at bedtime but waking up once or twice for a feed. Then he dropped the late PM nap, and was so tired by bedtime he was falling asleep at the boob and going down asleep, so forgetting the art of self settling. By chance, about a week ago, he started sleeping through, 7-7 ish. If he did wake once it was before midnight and only took a quick cuddle to resettle. We decided that, seeing as he'd got there alone, we'd stop night time feeds and if he wakes in the night to resettle with no boob, or consider controlled crying.

The last two days he's had a pm nap because he's only slept 30 mins at lunch. He's then been really difficult to settle at bedtime. Last night my back gave in so I decided to do controlled crying with short intervals. It took 25 mins. We need to get self settling back on track as I will be stopping bf soon.

Then he woke in the night. we had decided to stick with cc for bedtime but not in the night. DH went in to settle but it went on and on, each time he fell asleep in his arms, he's wake as soon as he was put down. We offered water, but 1.5 hrs later he was still crying and so I gave in and fed him. Asleep in 2 mins. Now I feel terrible, maybe I should have just fed him in the first place, he went through all that crying for nothing. And now I feel like we've taken a huge step back for no reason. Things were great last week - we slept properly for the first time in a year. Why did we mess with that!? I'm sure that if we hadn't used cc at bedtime he would have slept through. Then he woke at 530 for the day. So has only had 9 hrs sleep. I've had barely any.

What do we do next? Carry on with CC at bedtime but not in the night? Give up completely? Start again in a week or so? I really need my nights back - DH and I are both on the edge, both suffering with PND and having a decent nights sleep made everything seem ok.

I feel defeated and utterly terrible. Please help!

Please don't think you've screwed up lack of sleep for months is bloody awful!

I think whatever method you choose to use, the main thing is to stick with it, rather than having one method at bedtime, one for night wakings and one for naps. We did CC at 14mo with DD but the main thing that helped was consistency throughout the day - we did the same thing at each sleep time and stuck to it, took a few days but it was OK

He still loves you, don't beat yourself up whatever you choose to do.

Thanks Crucifisspaps. I hope he does still love me :(

Now I'm feeling even more defeated as he's just woken up from another 30 minute nap, he was up at the crack of dawn and I really thought he might sleep longer this lunch time - he's only had 2x 30 mins so far today.

I feel like we've messed with such a good thing! I just don't know what I'm doing...

Could he just be going through the 9 month sleep regression at 10 months?

Hmm - maybe - but I think he already had a sleep regression at 9 months (lots of night waking) and had been coming out the other side for a couple of weeks!

I am struggling with the fact that he's lost the ability to self settle at bedtime which he's always had, wherever, whenever, regression or no regression. and now I think I've screwed up his sleeping through the night by trying CC at bedtime. I should have been happy with him sleeping through despite being fed to sleep at bedtime!!!

I think it's a but soon to assume that he's lost that ability if he had it before. Everything is a phase with babies isn't it? This too shall pass

Is there any chance he's coming down with something or fighting something off? Is anything else different? Don't panic. Would you consider a couple of days of doing whatever it takes to get you all rested, then making a plan once you are less sleep deprived? Everything seems worse when you're tired. Good luck.

Thanks both of you. I tend to completely panic at one slight sleep glitch.

He has had a cold but that's definitely on the way out and it didn't affect his sleep while it was at its worst. He is however tilting his head to one side a lot (just posted in Health) so maybe he has earache or something? I don't know.

I just feel like sleep rules my life and I'm constantly obsessing over getting it right / getting some myself!

Please please ca you help me, I have no clue what to do, I have 16 month daughter, pregnant 7.5 month, she only sleep when we take her in the car, and she only settle when we take out of the car and put her to bed, how can I get her to sleep in her cot after I give her her milk , if I leave her in her cot and she cries she will get sick and I have to clean the carpet, I am getting so stressed my husband stressed too , how we are going to cope with the second baby. please help me

mumy02 do you wan to start your own thread so you get the most advice? But first, if your daughter sleeps with movement, have you tried wearing her in a sling around the house, or rocking her in a buggy in the house with some white noise/youtube engine noise?

mumy02 agree with LWL about starting your own thread - what will happen is most people will reply to the OP and your post will get lost!

Hi Jaffa my DD started falling asleep on the boob at 7mo when she started crawling and knackered herself out. We were away for a month and I didn't want to change her routine, which in hindsight was silly, but as soon as we got back I moved the last feed to just before bath, which worked perfectly. Back to self-settling with no fuss whatsoever.