Any help/ advice or support would be hugely appreciated!

[ComeTalkToMe]

Hi all,

My daughter was 17 weeks yesterday and is gorgeous - however she has always been, what I would call, high maintenance. She can be quite unsettled and grumpy during the day especially if she hasn't had enough naps. I could handle this as she was only waking once at night and at least I was rested.

Until two nights ago, she is now waking every hour through the night, not hungry just needing settled. I'm using her dummy and a white noise app to settle her but I don't know if this is the right thing. I am also getting very tired and emotional.

She is FF and having good feeds during the day and one at night.

I feel everyone I know in real life has content babies who are sleeping through the night and I'm starting to feel I'm doing something wrong and getting really quite upset about it. I also feel that everyone is judging me for her crying during the day and not sleeping through.

Does anyone have any ideas of things I could try or just some support?

Thanks...

She's about 4 months old which is when sleep patterns start to change. What does her daytime sleep routine look like? Don't change what you're doing unless you know she's ill or hungry. Just soothe to sleep and you will get through it!

Thanks - I'm trying to get her to have decent naps during the day. She goes down about 8.30 after getting up at 7 and then again at about 12.30 but her naps are only about 45 mins, she often has 30 mins around 5 as well. Struggle to get her to stay down any longer and not sure how I could do that anyway! I'm just hoping this doesn't last for ages!

Hi there. I think its partly developmental (45min naps EXTREMELY common at this age) & may also be partly because she's not tired enough to nap for any longer at her morning nap. As a result she then gets overtired later in the day, because she's not getting enough daytime sleep overall. When a baby is overtired at bedtime, they will wake frequently in the first few hours after bedtime, & may be restless in the early hours too.

So, IIWM I would try 2 things. Firstly push the morning nap a touch later so she goes down at 8.45am & see if her morning nap lengthens a bit. Secondly, while her morning nap is still short (45mins), I would bring the lunchtime nap a wee bit earlier, so she goes down at around 12 rather than 12.30. Hopefully, shortening the gap between the morning & lunchtime nap will mean she isn't overtired for her lunchtime nap, and she should then sleep for longer. The late afternoon nap might also have to come a wee bit earlier to 4.30pm too, although she may start to refuse this more as she gets nearer to 6 months old. What time does she usually go to bed at night? If its later than 7pm you might need to do a slightly earlier bedtime too, especially on days where she doesn't have the tea-time nap. As she gets nearer to 6 months the AM nap will need gradually shifting towards 9am, & then between 6-9 months you will probably find the AM nap will shift towards 9.30am & the lunchtime nap nearer to 12.30pm.

At this age we also found we got a lot of night wakings & I eventually attributed it to the dummy. He'd come to rely on the dummy to soothe him back to sleep but wasn't yet old enough to replug it himself when it dropped out during the night. So we would often be up 10x a night to him, quick replug & he'd be right back to sleep. Luckily my DS lost interest in the dummy at 6 months & so we took it away & noticed an immediate improvement in his nights. So, you could wait for her to learn how to replug herself & put lots in his cot for her to find, (may take a few months) or you could try & wean the dummy now if you feel its becoming a problem.

I think she's overtired, too tired in fact to sleep for longer than 45 mins(this is one sleep cycle). Do you put her down as soon as she appears tired? If she sleeps from 0830 to 0915 and then doesn't nap again until 1230, she's awake for over 3hrs in between which at her age is too long. You say she's 'high maintenance' but maybe she's just permanently tired.

The morning nap is ok although ideally it would be slightly longer. I would aim to put her down for her lunchtime nap earlier, say 1145. If she's not overtired she should settle more easily and sleep for longer. A good 2.5 hrs would be ideal. She could then have a 30 mins catnap around 4.15 to see her through to bedtime.