what to do with an early riser!

[youbethemummylion]

My soon to be 2 year old DS is an absolute dream to get to sleep. At 7pm I lay his sleeping bag on the floor and he lays down on it ready to be zipped up. I take him to his room and sit with him in a dim light and read him a story. Then its into his cot and he lies there quite happily as i leave the room and he falls asleep.

Ocassionally he will wake for a bottle around 2ish (maybe three times a week) we still give him the milk as he is VERY small for his age and doesn't eat much during the day so anything I can do to get some calories into him I'm happy to do. He goes straight back to sleep after this.

The problem is wether he has woken for a bottle or not he tends to wake up about 4 or 4:30. Nothing I have tried will make him sleep for longer. I have tried putting him to bed late he still wakes up at the same time.

When we have got up with him at 4 and take him downstairs he will sleep on the floor/sofa for another hour or so (he wont sleep in our bed for some reason) So we have taken to leaving him crying in his cot on the assumption that he must still be tired but he just cries either continuously or off and on until we give up and get him up (usually about 5)

Any ideas to stop him waking up so early?

Tricky one. Ideally you want to teach him that it is still nightime and that he has to stay in his bed. That is easier said than done though.

Firstly, by letting him cry and then going to him eventually you are teaching him that if he cries long enough you will eventually come.

Could you instead go to him straight away and tell him to quieten down and go back to sleep? Would he listen?

Would he understand one of those bunny clocks or groclocks that show nighttime and daytime? Could you explain to him to play in his cot until the sun comes up/bunny gets up.

Are there safe, quiet, peaceful toys he could have in his cot to play with until he drops off again?

Are your windows completely blacked out and are there any noises outside?

Yes the windows are blacked out. During the day he would understand and follow instructions but when he wakes up he is distraught and wont listen to a word you say. We tried going in and saying bedtime go to sleep but it just makes the crying worse when we leave.

I totally sympathise. Both my dcs are/were early risers. Dd is 11 now and is growing out of it. Ds has mental health problems so through the treatment we have had support with his sleep cycle which has improved things for us. He is 7 now though so can understand rules in a way that a 2 yo can't.

All the techniques we use are working but don't seem age appropriate for you.
eg:
He listens to an audio book on headphones (I would worry your dcs would get tangled in the wire)
He draws
He reads
He watches a colour change clock
He has a chart on which he writes down the time he wakes up and the time he gets up and isn't allowed out of bed until 6am. (he is rewarded if he manages)

These don't seem useful strategies for one so young though.

What would happen if you put a mattress on the floor near his cot and went to sleep there from when he woke at 4am or so? (warning this might make the problem worse in the long run).

What we were taught is basically that our ds needed to learn to self settle. Some little ones learn this really easily but ours just couldn't do it.

We had the hours of screaming etc so I do understand. Not everyone who gets five mins or so of grumbling really gets the sort of hysteria it sounds like you are describing (and we experienced).

Have you seen your health visitor about it?

That was our first route for support.

I hope someone else can come forward with some more useful help.

Thanks carrots its at least a comfort that I'm not the only one with an early riser it can be very lonely at 4am. I will see the Heath Visitor about it I have found them a bit useless in the past about other issues but I'm willing to give them another go.

My older son was an early riser aswell (not this early though) but he was about 3 when it started so like you said was more able to understand he has to stay in bed until 6am.

My health visitor tried but it was not all that helpful tbh. It was a required route to further help though iykwim. HV, GP, Community Doc, Psychologist for us but most dcs grow out of it before ours did as they don't have the other issues.

OP - does he nap during the day & if so, when & how long for? Just wondering if he might be having too much daytime sleep now, or perhaps his nap may be too early in the day or too close to bedtime.

He naps for between 1 to 2 hours around about 12:30, do you think this is too much? He goes to nursery full time and is moving up to the 2 -3 year old room this month so he may start to sleep a bit less during the day.

Is it 1 or 2? If nearer 2, I'd reduce it. My DD had no sleep at all in the day by her 2nd bday.

it varies a lot but i guess most of the time it is nearer to 2. I'll try reducing it and hope that helps. Thanks for the tips.

My DD used to wake at 5 every day and as soon as sorted out her nap she was waking at 7 although it took a few weeks to take effect so don't be disheartened if you don't see change straight away.

It may not be your problem but I'd always address naps first. After all, if you were snoozing during the day you'd probably be quite lively at night! Toddlers don't always drop naps when they're biologically ready.

Sympathies! I gave birth to the child who awakens the birds...5/5.30 am . I have learnt to nap with him in the afternoon and also sleep relatively early at night.

If it helps, my DS is 19.5 months so a little younger than yours, but until about a month ago was napping at 12.30-2.30 & he was going to bed at 7.30 (7pm bedtime would be too early for him) & waking at 7am. Now, even with a 7.30pm bedtime we are finding he's taking ages to settle, he's asleep nearer 8pm and is early waking at 6am. We have started capping his nap at 1.5hrs but I actually think it needs to be even shorter as he's still not settling well at bedtime, so our eventual aim is something like:

Up: 7am (hopefully!)
Nap: 1-2/2.15
BT: 7pm

I am hoping that by capping his nap it will lengthen his night, and if he has a consistently longer night then he will cope well with the shorter nap. I think to start with it may be hard going though!

I found capping naps hard as he would wake up grumpy and grizzly. As of now he naps for 3.5 hours in the afternoon and is out by 7.30pm or latest 8pm. And still wakes up at 5.30-6. We tried all kinda of things, pushing back bedtime to 9 in hope. It did not work .
At nursery they wake him up by 3 and he comes home quite tired and is asleep by 7 and awake and shining by 6...I do think it is too much sleep but who am I to complain!!!
The only thing that makes this manageable is taking turns at waking up with him. Arranging tempting toys out at night so you can let LO play quietly while you get some coffee and wake up completely also helps.

I can only speak for myself but my daughters waking at 5am was definitely linked to having too much daytime sleep. Yes, she was grumpy when I woke her but that's because I wasn't letting her have as much sleep as she needed to catch up on the lost nighttime sleep.

You have to break the cycle they're in of too long naps stealing from their nighttime sleep. And the later bedtimes are generally not the right way to go as they are overtired by bedtime which just introduces a secondary problem.

I agree- an hour nap max...could do it in one go or else cut by ten mins every few days.It's hard but reckon it will sort your problem out.

funny how they're all different, isn't it? my ds is about to turn 5 and is only just dropping naps; he napped 2hrs up until the middle of last year, went to bed at 8ish (sometimes later, if the nap was late in the day) and slept through til 6.

I was going to post for help on my early-waking dd but think I will just start my own thread.

but fwiw, naps don't make the slightest bit of diffrncet 36m dd's nightime sleep, only difference is whether she has a good afternoon or a tearful one.

good luck, OP

We had something similar with my ds and I was feeding him too about 5ish. I think he was genuinely hungry but the problem was he was getting food when he should have been sleeping. Have you tried say a week of not feeding him at night? That worked with us and I couldn't believe how much more he started eating in the day. I'd always thought he hadn't got much of an appetite in the day but he was just all out of when he should be eating. It would be a hard week as he'll expect feeding but it does get easier. I just kept going in and laying him down when he got really upset and then of course he was really hungry by morning and ate lots all day. Even a really prem or small 2 year old should go through the night without needing milk, it's just habit. Having said that it is very hard not to try answer your childs every need but it does get very wearing for everyone after a while.

Good luck.

4 am is not early morning. It is night time.

Treat it as a night waking. Ignore for a bit. If he cries, go to him but lights stay off, kiss, hug, and whisper "good night". Decide on a time you would be happy to get up at every day (7AM?) and don't let him get out of the cot until then.

It might be hard for the first few nights but he will get used to it.