6 month old and naps - sigh....

[tory79]

Hi

I've posted before on here when ds was about 3 months old and our lack of routine and ds only sleeping on or right next to me. Since then, nights are much improved, he has bath feed bed and is generally asleep by 7.30/8, he moved to a bedside cot, and as he is now rolling like a demon, the side is up (so I guess its just a cot :-) and this is going ok - he still wakes frequently at night, maybe 5/6 times between 8-7 but goes back to sleep after a quick feed. I know at some point I will need to address this, as I think he is largely waking out of habit, and can't settle himself, but for now I am surviving nights!

Anyway, on to the actual point - naps. We have never really had a routine in place, I just go with the flow. We do now have consistency in what time he goes to bed, but this hasn't led to a consistent wake time which can be anywhere between 6-8 ish, and his naps have no rhyme or reason to them. He rarely naps for longer than 30m, unless we are in the car or he's asleep on me (although I think he is starting to find this uncomfortable, as am I!). He naps in the pushchair, but normally again for a max of 30m, although he has managed longer a couple of times. He won't nap in his cot, or at least he will, but it takes me ages to get him to sleep in there, often with a lot of screaming on his part. Again, max 30m.

To give a couple of examples, today he woke up at 8, had 30m nap in car at 10, 30m nap in car at 1, 20m nap on me at 5. Bedtime starts about 7. Yesterday he woke at 9, had a 20m nap on me about 11, 40m nap in pushchair about 2 and then a doze whilst feeding about 5. Monday he woke up at 6, had a 1 hr nap on me 8-9, 30m in the car at about 11, then another 1 hr nap on me about 2.

He doesn't seem overtired to me, he normally wakes up happy and is generally a happy baby. Sometimes he wakes up crying and I do my best to get him back to sleep, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But overall I don't see how he is getting enough daytime sleep.

I just feel terrible that there is no pattern whatsoever still at 6 months. I have relied on him sleeping on me to get him the longer naps but I think this is coming to an end as he does seem to get uncomfy. I have no idea how to start getting him to nap in his cot and for longer than 30m! And without screaming and crying!

I should add that he is generally a sleep fighter, there is normally some degree of crying before he goes to sleep, naps and nighttime. I think he just likes being awake and is worried he is going to miss something!

Does anyone have any thoughts?

Sorry for the essay

Sounds familiar
There is a touch of predictability I think when you read it.

If he's generally happy then everythings probably fine.

If you prefer more of a routine how about using trips in the car/pram daily at routine times since these do often induce sleep? Has the added advantage of you not being his mattress and you can get errands done at the same time.

We walk our dogs twice a day and ds comes too, at that age he would nap both times plus on me after a feed briefly maybe- to be honest my ds is not the best example of a sleeping baby though!

My DS is/was exactly like this! And boy its tiring! To combat this I introduced a proper lunch time at 11:45am and put him to bed straight after. Consequently he has a couple of hours solid sleep in the day and all the napping stopped. He took to this instantly and is now 7 months.

Sorry no advice but you op is shockingly similar to my ds

I use a darkened pram with White noise on my phone and resettle at 40 minutes. Decent naps will improve yr nights. My dd seems fine on 2 40 min naps but nights are shocking. Make her have 2 1.5 hour naps and nights are miles better.

Thanks for the replies - for the last 2 days I have taken him out for a walk straight after lunch and he has had a 2 hour nap both times!! Lots of walking for mummy but perhaps this is going to be a way to get him in to more of a routine....

Serves me right for saying he wasn't too bad overnight though, for the last 2 nights he has been a nightmare to get to sleep as he just keeps screaming and rolling round his cot, and then when he wakes, I feed him and instead of going straight back down like he normally does he has started screaming again the second his back touches the cot. I have ended up with him sleeping on my chest from about 1am to get him back to sleep. I am thinking teething and also he is starting to show signs of crawling not beeing far off, so I hope its related to these things. Tonight he went to sleep with no crying (although he is on his tummy) so fingers crossed for a better night.....

Maybe a wonder week, as they are always changing and developing = lots of unsettledness. Wish I had the answer!

I could have wrote this post myself!!! Will be watching for tips on how on earth to get any nap routine going!

Hmm well after those 2 long naps in his pushchair he has not repeated it and gone back to half an hour despite a lot of walking on my part!

So currently we seem to be doing 1 longish nap about 1.5 - 2 hours after waking which he takes lying on me back in bed (as if possible I don't get us dressed before, so I can have a comfy doze) then after his lunch we go for a walk and he has half an hour, then round about 430/5 he has another nap on me normally for 30m again. I guess it is a routine of sorts although I still feel a million miles away from getting him to take a long nap in his cot, I've not even tried to get him to nap in his cot for a while now, it's so wearing having him cry his heart out and to spend longer trying to get him to sleep than he will even be asleep for.

I suppose the other thing that affects this is how variable his wake up time can be - anywhere from 6-8, which obviously has quite a knock on effect to naps.

Also our nights are seriously pants at the moment so I am far too tired to get too worked up over naps, I may have to switch focus!

And the other variable to actually getting a proper routine is weekends! As dh is about our days are often very different to during the week.

Case in point - ds woke up at 8 today, dh took him out about 930, bought him back at 1130 and he's not slept at all! Have just got him to sleep now so his first bloody nap of the day is at midday! So lunch and nap ' routine' for the day already gone to pot. I do get quite irritated by dh actually, he never considers when ds should nap or that he might have to help him get to sleep.

Long sleep shortly after waking is overtiredness, basically an extension of nighttime sleep. This will then cause him to have short lunchtime nap and consequently be overtired by bedtime causing possible disturbed nights and/or early waking, then the whole cycle starts again.

Taking him out for the walks is a great idea to try and regulate this long 2hr nap in the middle of the day but you need to structure a routine for the rest of the day as well otherwise he's getting mixed messages. This may be way he's gone back to a short lunchtime nap the last few days. I'd get him up the same time every day regardless of how the night has gone and give him a shortish morning nap about 2-2.5 hrs later of about 45 mins. Then lunch followed by another nap, this one should be the long one, over time his body should get used to things and he'll accept the long sleep here. Then a catnap in the PM if he needs it and bed, 12 hours after he got up.

Do this every day consistently for 2 weeks and see what happens.

I don't think his morning nap is a sign of overtiredness, it doesn't happen that close to him waking up - 1 3/4 hours is average. I think the only reason its a long nap is because its lying on me - he always sleeps well there! What is considered to be shortly after waking?

I have been thinking for some time that I need to get him up at the same time everyday, but I am so tired that the thought of getting up a minute before I have too is like a mountain to climb!

Fair enough, you know him best. At 6 months old, I'd say he should be able to stay up 2-2.5 hours after waking. Afraid I disagree on the length of nap being solely based on him being on you. If he'd sleption well the night before and was fully refreshed on waking, he just wouldn't need a long sleep so soon afterwards. But that's just my humble opinion of course! :)

And I know it can be SO hard to get out of bed when you're shattered...I've been there. The thought that kept me going was how I wouldn't be tired when I'd sorted everything out and to do that, I needed to start with a regular routine. Works for me and I can tell you, it was bliss having 12 hour nights and regular naptimes in the day - I felt like a new woman!

I had difficulty with dds naps at the same sort of age. I found pushing myself to stay awake and keep her awake for 2.5-3 hours after waking meant within 3 days she was regularly waking at 6 and going for a nap at 9am for 1.5-2 hours. It also had a positive knock on effect on pm nap and night sleep. V hard to start with as I was So tired in the mornings

Ok - my mum is staying for a week soon, and is always up and about in the morning, so I think I might ask her to come and get him at 7am each day, then I'll get a little rest and he can start his day at the same time!

Loveis, if he is overtired, is it not better that he gets that long nap? I say long, its not always. It varies between 45m and 1.5 hours. Or you think I should be waking him after 45m or so? The reason I say I don't think he is overtired is because he always wakes up happy. If he's not ready to wake up from a nap or something he just starts crying.

At that age my dd was in a fairly structured routine of up between 7-8am and then back to bed 2 hours later!

Her morning sleep would be for a max of 40mins (if she slept longer than that I would wake her up) then again be up and doing stuff for a couple of hours, then lunch and back to bed about 1pm and this would be a long sleep - 2 hours.

Then keep her awake til bedtime at 7pm.

To get her to sleep in her cot in the day I would make sure the room was really dark and quiet, put calming music on, take bottom half of clothing off and put her into her gro-bag thingy.

I did have to leave her to moan a few times but never longer than about 10mins. It was so worth it to know that I had 2 hours to myself every afternoon.

If you want this to work you will probably have to have a few home based days and the you can look at tweaking it so you can go out and about more.

Good advice from girlie friend. This is what I would do. Yes, I did wake from naps which is when things started to turn around for me. If I left my DD to her own devices she would sleep too long in the day and not at night.

I know waking from naps is unpopular so it's a personal choice.