I feel like an evil nasty cow ... don't know if I can do this...

[chocciechip]

Just tried shush/pat with DD (6.5mo).

Don't even know if I'm doing it right.

Put her down awake and left her. She started crying, I went back and crouched near her with no eye contact and rubbed her tummy and gently patted saying nothing but 'shush, bedtime baby'. She screamed until I thought she was going to be sick even though I was right there touching her and talking to her. Stopped for a millisecond so I left the room.

She started again, I went straight back and did the same. This time she screamed even harder - I think gave herself a temperature. Stopped and was whimpering and murmering. I left her still awake and whimpering. And I think she's gone to sleep.

About ten minutes - it felt like an hour.

Success....? I'm in tears.

Is this right...?

Do I have to do this every time she wakes tonight? Do I have to do this for naps tomorrow (she has never ever slept in her cot during the day - only on me - screams when we put her down).

Does this mean I can never hold my baby while she sleeps?

I feel your pain. My DH and I were at the end of our tether with shush pat. It just didn't work for our DD. even if we held her doing it. We changed a week ago to using the 'no cry sleep solution'. SO MUCH BETTER! It is taking us 15 mins to settle her in her cot with no crying. We are all so much happier and less stressed.

Our dd is only 4 months, but this has been a saviour. I strongly suggest you read it and give it ago!

Other than that (hug) for you and remember, "it's only a phase"

Makes mine more frantic too!

Are you doing something totally different to what your baby usually expects at sleep time? Have you considered all options and decided what you are going to do no matter what? If you're not confident and sure about what you're doing then stop, do whatever it takes to get her to sleep and make a long term plan and stick to it for every nap/sleep time.

Its totally different - we normally rock her to sleep. And when that doesn't work I feed her. How long did the 'no cry' work for you? I have the book, but we have tried putting her down in the middle of the night when she's sleepy (after rocking) and she wakes instantly....

chocciechip, this sounds totally normal to me. All babies are different (sorry, I don't mean to be a patronising cow) and some are much more obliging than others. I know that shush/pat and "no cry sleep solution" work well for many people, but shush-patting my DS was like shush-patting a raging rhino, and any "no cry" interventions almost inevitably led to LOTS of crying. I just gave up on books in the end. But they may work for you. 10 minutes of crying is really not so bad. Try a few more times, if it works - brill, if it does not - I would not lose any sleep (forgive the pun) over it.

shush/pat made my babies really frustrated and did nothing for us. no cry didn't work for us either when I was desperate with ds1 but did help in a lot of ways, it may take a while to decide if it works or not because it's a gradual approach.

I either sat with mine stroking their head or put them down and left them then went in to give comforter back/shush then straight out over and over till they fell asleep. If you're doing sleep training of any description you need to be really confident of what you are doing so baby knows what's going on.

Think shush pat is meant for up to about 4/5 months and pick up put down definitely better for 6+months... I did that with dd at 6 months or less. Having said that, I agree with the others and see what works for you...my dd would have been better off left to her own devices (realise this in hindsight!).. stick with whatever way you choose though. Took us a few weeks to sort it x

Both shush pat and pick up out down were rubbish for my ds and as such I didn't even attempt them with dd. I fed to sleep with both and felt no guilt or concern at doing so.

If it feels wrong, don't do it. It sounds like you have a method of getting your baby to sleep - if it works, why not use it?