2mths to go 'til baby#2 arrives, still cuddling dd1 to sleep+co-sleeping..urgent help/change needed

[mammainlove]

DD is 21m.o. We love co-sleeping+cuddling to sleep, although I'm starting to panic as this is the only way (besides car+buggy) she will go to sleep. I also want to co-sleep with baby+b.f. so obviously there needs to be change, I.e. DP get her to sleep. I think we may have left it too late to gradually get her used to going to sleep alone,+i would never, ever use CC as a method.

I would like some advice on;

1. For DP to start getting her to sleep (when tried before she usually cries+screams for me so much that I have to give in), should he do the whole bedtime routine (bath,books etc), and do this for a few consecutive nights? Or 1 night to begin? Will she get used to him there instead of me? (i'm so terrified of her crying,screaming so much!)

2. Is it possible to co-sleep with 2 children? She usually sleeps on a single mattress next to our double mattress on the floor, only stirring once in the night if she does, then she climbs into our bed.

Ideally we would have her in her own room, but this has been delayed for reasons too long to explain. I think it might be too late to get her to sleep in a different room..the thought also makes me sad as I'm so used being very close to her all night..

Any thoughts or suggestions very much appreciated x

Hi, I have 23 months between my DS + DD. DS was quite set in his ways about sleeping but in the end we decided to try a few changes because
a) we didn't want DS to link the changes to baby, risk of blaming baby
b) however hard it was to make changes before baby, it would definitely be harder AFTER baby

DS had to be carried to sleep. At 18 months his cot was still in our room - others found odd but we loved it. When I was about 6 months' pg I physically couldn't carry him, so sat on the floor next to the cot or lay on my bed near him. He stood up and cried but I never left him, not a fan of CC. If he got really upset I lifted him out for a hug, told him I loved him and asked him to lie down. After a few weeks it improved. We then painted a new room for him and moved his cot through when i was about 8 months' pregnant. Both I and DP cried as we were sad our baby was growing up. However, DS LOVED it, loved his toy boxes + books etc.

Co-sleeping is trickier, we do that now with DD. Could you try 2 single mattresses on the floor in a different room, get your DD used to "her" room? You probably could try co-sleeping as a family, I just felt like I wanted DC2 to have some time "just with Mummy" like DC1 was able to, and for me this was easier when DS had his own room. Also, though I know me + DP wouldn't squash the baby, might be too much to expect of DC1, if they are anything like my jumping, bouncing, hair pulling, eye-poking but very lovely DD!

Sorry, forgot to say, will be hard but I think you know you have to give it a go with DP and bedtime, even if DD cries. Might be better for DP to do the whole of bedtime and see how it goes? Think you will need DP to be able to take turns once the new baby is here.

Does DD go to bed for anyone else like a grandparent? Do you have plans for when you are in labour?

Hi, thank u. What u say makes sense, though I feel so emotional about it all! I couldn't cuddle dd to sleep last night as my indigestion was too bad, and she really suffered. Went to sleep crying, and was awake in the night for 2 hours, even when I was cuddling her she still cried for hugs. She is so sensitive! It feels cruel to deprive her of hugs..

No her grandparents havnt put her to bed yet, I think it might be best for dp to do this before them x

Please, does anyone else have any advice to offer?