What is happening at MIDNIGHT??????

[tackleberry29]

Hello all! First time poster here......

We have just adopted our beautiful baby daughter who is 20 months old.

She despite having amazing foster parents wakes every night at around midnight, having gone to bed at 7pm every time. They tried everything and we are now trying to workout what is going on. She does have a nap in the day for around an hour.

Once she wakes at 12am ish it takes until 2 am ish until she will go back to sleep properly. In those couple of hours, she will cry/scream/ all of the usual.

So, what do we think is going on??

Thanks!!

Congratulations!
Could you try gently half waking her about 11-11.30 (stroking her face or something), with the idea that she stirs a bit and then goes back to sleep (sounds a it too easy probably!).

My Ds has always been a bit of a bad sleeper, and I think sometimes there's not too much you can do, just stay chilled as much as possible, lots of cuddles and love and hopefully she'll relax a bit. (we get him to gawp at the 24hr news while we sleep on the floor which sometimes stops the crying and he'll sleep then)

Or it might just be getting her used to her new surroundings. For us just changing him from a cot to a bed is taking over a month for him to settle well.

Another one here, trying to get 18 month old back to sleep. Sorry no advice apart from he usually goes back to sleep within about 20 minutes if I cuddle him till he stops crying then put him back in his cot and sit in his room and lurk on mumsnet till he is sound asleep. Not ideal, I know, but it's the only way to keep him out of our bed.

Does she wake up screaming and crying?

Am sure her foster parents tried this, but have you tried setting an alarm for ten to midnight, sitting next to her and as she stirs on the way to waking try shushing/patting/soothing her before she wakes..

We did this for a week when DD1 was younger and had a 4am wake up. The sleep consultant at the time (we were having a nightmare, she didn't sleep for more than 1.5 hours at any point of day or night for over 8 months) talked about how routined and habitualised wakings can be. Their bodies train themselves/habitualise to wake at the same time. The 'averting' approach was her idea of a gentle way to 're-train'. It did help us.

Congratualtions on becoming her parents!

Sounds pretty normal to me for an under 2 year old - I think DS was around that age when he grew out of it, but it's feasible that with the disruption, fostering, the initial reason for the adoption etc she will take a little longer. She will get there - will she settle if you bring her into bed with you? Or try getting her a single bed, and get in with her?

The slightly disturbing her just before 12 sounds like something to try, too.