20 minutes sleep maximum?

[Edison01]

Hi ladies, I am quite new here, so hopefully not going to ask something discussed already many times! I have a five weeks old baby girl and altough I am a second time mum (and also taking care of two stepkids) she is nothing like I have known before, so I am a bit lost about what would be the right thing to do.

The first few weeks she only wanted to be held, and slept on my chest, which we somehow managed to overcome at nights, as she accepted her mini-cot as a place to sleep at night and by 3 weeks we somehow naturally started to put her down around 8pm upstairs into the the cot and she had one big stretch of sleep (3 hours) and then fed about each 2 hours till morning. During days she still wanted/wants to be held nonstop, but for the time being I just accepted it and tried to work around it, happy that at least we are getting somewhere at night time.

But for about a week now she has completely changed her habits at night, as she wakes up every hour, which basically means she only sleeps about 20 minutes in one stretch, as she wakes up, she goes on breast, she feeds a little, I burp her, she falls asleep and I put her back to cot and she seems to be happy and asleep, but 20 minutes later she is up and crying to be picked up. I tried rocking and shsh-ing sounds, patting, etc - the only think sending her back to sleep is the breast - but she is not even hungry, she is only snacking, she does a bit of nipple chewing and that's about it - so it is more a comfort thing - so I also know it is not a growth spur, as she is not after a proper feed. I know she is very young, but could there be any reason she regressed to this hourly routine and 20 minutes naps? I have read that babies change each 20 minutes from light to deep sleep and vice versa - could this be a case? Anybody has a similar experience? We also tried swaddling to no avail, it just upset her even more.

Of course I have not slept in a week and I am becoming so tired and tense I can't remeber my own name anymore - being irritated with other kids and grumpy and tearful froim lack of sleep - is there any solution which would at least get us back on 2 hours slots?

Thanks for anybody who can share their experience/wisdom!

Maybe instead of burping you could just let her feed lying down next to you and then both of you fall asleep? Maybe she's just becoming more aware and is unhappy about being in the cot rather than snuggled up with you.

Depending on how well you feel bfing is going, you could consider a dummy if she likes to comfort suck.

Sleep changes rapidly in small babies, first around 6 weeks, then 4 months. You've hit the first stage of sleep becoming more developed in that she's not sleeping the sleep of the dead that newborns do. I know shes v young but I think this is when you can start helping her to learn to self settle. Breast feeding to sleep and doing it every hour is a sure fire way to encourage her to become dependent on you for help getting to sleep (although I know it's v hard when you're exhausted).

A dummy is a good idea in v young babies who suck a lot for comfort although they do become dependent on them later on (I have a 2 yr old who can't sleep without 4 in her cot!).

I would've suggested swaddling and tucking in but you say she doesn't like this. If you're sure she's not hungry, don't feed her every time she wakes, leave her in her cot, make sure she feels securely tucked in and do shush/patting until she settles. It may take a few nights and can get worse before it gets better.

I would suggest trying swaddling again and a dummy if you're happy to use one. The swaddle should help her get past the first 15-20mins of sleep where she might be waking herself up by jolting in her sleep and realising she's on her own with nothing to keep her cosy (like when we feel we're falling just as we're about to go into a deep sleep.) My LO didn't like being put into the swaddle used to scream as I did it but soon realised it was a nice place to be and helped her sleep no end. I still swaddle now at 12 months if she's refusing to nap, she still doesn't like being put into the swaddle but as soon as she's picked up and cuddled (whilst still swaddled) she loves being all wrapped up.
I think the sleep cycle is something like 15mins light sleep and easily woken and when they're likely to jolt and wake up, 30 mins to 45 mins deep sleep then back to light (but don't quote me on that) . Good Luck