Any co-sleepers out there?

[Epigirl]

AM after some advice about co-sleeping. Have slept with dd since she was 5 months old, she's now 23 months. ds is 12 weeks old and I am currently sleeping in one bed with him, dh in another with dd. This arrangement does not bother us at all (dh often worked shifts so sleeping apart not an issue for us) but I was wondering if anyone else out there has co-slept with 2 children at once?

dd now goes to bed by herself but tends to join us/dh in the night and we have a 6ft bed so space is not an issue but I'm worried about dd squashing a small baby.

Any opinions?

Epigirl - I'm curious. Ds has slept in with us everynight since birth I think!! He is 2.5 yrs now and we are currently trying to conceive our 2nd. Like you, our ds falls asleep in his own bed then joins us at some point during the night (it varies alot!). We have tried controlled crying to stop this, but I think we are ready to give in!
I am SO worried about this happening with the 2nd as we don't have a 6 ft bed.

Do both children have to sleep in the middle?? Can't you have one either side?

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I am currently co-sleeping with DD1 who is 4.5 and DD2 who is 7 weeks old. I sleep in the middle, because DD1 would most defintely end up on top of the baby in the night, she thrashes about so much. I have read that it is best for an adult to sleep between the 2 children. DH sleeps in a single bed pushed up against the kingsize bed, our room is just one big bed.

"Three in a bed" is written by Deborah Jackson.
We also co-sleep (on and off), but I only trust myself in sleeping next to a very small baby. Didn't trust DD nor DH when DS was very small....

so glad it's not just me My dd 2.7 is getting good in her own bed but sometimes comes in at 7...sometimes 3 or 4. (have to admit i do love the snuggle time My dp usually sleeps in the spare room.Snoring!....My sis is exactly the same as you Epigirl, her dp sleeps with their 2 year old and she sleeps with her 1 year old! Have been thinking about second baby too so i just hope dd is sleeping through most nights by then!

I was thinking about co-sleeping last night, funny enough. Not that I'm a huge fan, but haveing tried all the alternatives, part-time co-sleeping works best for us. My experience was DH slept with older child from 23-28 months, and I slept with the baby in another room from 0-5 months. And then older child went pretty happily into his own bed (most of the time) from 2yrs+4 months, while DD (now just over 2yo) still sleeps in a cot or with us.

I still sneak off to sleep elsewhere if both kids end up in (king-size) bed with me & DH. DH doesn't mind them, but they drive me a bit crazy.

I've just recently stopped co sleeping with my youngest two , aged nearly 5 and 2y 9m(well until about 6.30 am, when the oldest wants me to get into bed with them again, so he can fall asleep!). The oldest never once squashed the youngest one, thought they often ended up intertwined , having a cuddle in their sleep. I thought I would miss it terribly, but I have got used to sleeping in the same bed as dh all night remarkably quickly. Even his snoring seems to have improved.

It might be worth considering getting a bed-side bed , assuming they still make them. We had one and it was worth its weight in gold. I know you don't strictly need it space-wise with a 6 ft bed, but it would give the baby its own defined space, especially if you were next to it.

If you're not familiar with them, they are cots that have three sides (you can add the fourth if you want it) and the base is adjustable to be the same height as any bed, so it makes a safe bed-extension for a baby. Good luck with it!

Epigirl, I'm in a similar position to you. I sleep with our ds who is now 13 months in one bed and dh sleeps with dd who is 3 yo in another. DD was sleeping in her own bed but once ds was born it all went to pot. She would wake and wander in the night and because I was bf so often during the night I couldn't keep getting up and settling her. DH gets up very early so he used to just carry her into the spare bed and now she goes straight there at bedtime. We are in the midst of building works so once these are sorted we will sort out bedrooms and get both children to sleep apart from us. I have had both children in bed with me and when ds was about 3 weeks and PIL were visiting dd slept with us for 1 week. Not idela but in that type of situation I have been in the middle as dd tends to kick and move alot in the night and I worried about her hurting ds or him overheating if she slept too close to him.

M2T - our little dd also sleeps with us - falls asleep in her own bed after lots of stories ( and have to say most nights she needs to be well and truely alseep before I tiptoe out) and then about 4ish, she crawls into bed with us. We co-slept until she had her own bed at about 16 months(thought getting her own bed would stop the cosleeping....we were wrong) Most mornings now hubby and I can't even remember when she joined us. TTC and her in the bed don't really mix....but she's a great little sleeper
will watch the advice as I don't ever see her getting out of the habit for a while......too lazy for the crying business...
hana

DD has been sleeping with us since birth, shes now 3 weeks. DS2 has come into bed with us a few times in the middle of the night ( he's 3) and I've moved DD over to the side of the bed - she doesn't move at this age so won't roll out and I have my arm around her. The first weekend after she was born DS1(5)and 2 came in quite early in the morning, before we were ready to get up, so we had 5 in a bed!

I'd just keep you in the middle, just in case.

SamACon, you have to be the winner at most in a bed

I couldnt bear to sleep with my two as, after having had them all day I really couldnt face the thought of having them all night too. I get round it by my two boys sleeping in a double together. They like the company that each other gives and means they dont have to come into me for comfort.

Ds slept with me on and off till around age 3, dh in his own bed (usually spent first part of the night with him). Then when dd came along when ds was 2.9 I had them both in with me one on either side (dh in a completely separate bed). I had a blanket rolled up and a chair turned backwards psuhed up at theside of the bed just in case dd rolled over and fell out. Then when ds turned 3 he went to his own bed totally (don't worry MT2 they do want to have their own bed eventually ) It all works OK for us... dh does have BAD snoring and I'd probably not be able to spend a whole night with him anyway, children or not !!

Exactly Eulalia! Ds goes to Granny's one night a week and I have a terribly disturbed sleep with DH! I have gone through to the spare room a few times.

I am curious . . why do you all co-sleep? I'm not looking for adebate, not saying its right or wrong, I am seriously just wondering. Is it to do with breastfeeding?

No for me its to do with a nights sleep!
I went back to work 40hrs a week when ds was 18wks old. He would only sleep most of the night if he was in beside us!

In my case I think breast feeding is a major factor although DS's were both voracious feeders and bad sleepers which improved when we co-slept.

DD is 3 weeks, she feeds when we go to bed ( about 11ish) and then sleeps until around 5.30. Because she's next to me I don't even have to sit up, I just put her on whatever side it is, whip a breast out and hey presto! within 10 minutes we are both asleep again. I will admit to waking up in the 'hanging out' position though! Getting this amount of sleep at this stage for me is wonderful, and I'm quite happy to deal with any problems later on if this means I can cope better now.

For me its the breastfeeding, bad sleeping and, well this may sound strange, but I felt the baby kicking, moving for 9 months and then my womb feels kinda empty. They are only little for so long and I love falling asleep holding them, smelling them. Waking up to find them smiling at me. It won't last long...

Both my children seem to need feeding every 3-4 hours during the night as well.

Oh yeah and I only have one bedroom, so I couldn't put them in their own bed or room if I wanted to!!!

Maybe its cultural too, raised in a Thai household, we all co-slept...my sister till she was 10 no matter how many times my mum kept starting her off in her own bed at night. But thats another story!

our sleeping arrangements keep changing (dh calls it musical beds). At the momemt dd (8 mo) sleeps between me and ds (3y). Reason now for co-sleeping is like the others (bf and the best way to get some sleep without having to get up).
A major reason was when ds 4 mo old he had bad eczema and despite mittens he was always trying to scratch his face. When next to me I could at least try to put my arm on his.
And I was dead against co-sleeping before....

We started off co-cleeping as a means of getting some sleep but grew to really enjoy it and now we wouldn't change it. Horses for courses I suppose. We all seem to get a good night's sleep and, with ds, I have found I can bf without really waking up or sitting up.

I love the fact that they're there when you wake in the night and you know they're OK, hearing their breath etc. and the snuggle time in the morning is great but I know it wouldn't be for everyone.

FOr me it was the frequency of bf leading to no sleep - dead zombie feeling. Much easier to have them in bed but hard to get them out when bf ceases. I do like it and dh says he likes being in his own room also!!

We co-sleep too, glad we are not alone! Ds has suffered v bad eczema and it really interers with sleep so we had him with us till he was 3. Then we moved him into his own room but he comes into us every night, has a good scratch and goes back to sleep. It works for us (we get some time alone, useful when ttcing!) I think it is natural for children to want to sleep with their parents, I hope it makes his feel safe.

Recently my hv did advise we keep ds on one side, he insists on being in the middle and according to the hv, this is all to do with dividing up dh and me (divide and rule I suppose).

we co-sleep too. DH has the 4 yr old in one room, I have 18mnth old in the other. I first fell into the trap as a means of getting DS1 to sleep well. He did, too - from an early age I was getting a full nights sleep (as long as I didn't leave the bed). Not so with DS2. He had marathon breastfeeds from the beginning, and I just couldn't take it, I had to feed him in my sleep. Now he spends 60%-70% of the night in his cot and the rest in with me (on a good night).

We'd like them to sleep together soon, but not sure what age to begin. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep in a different room, though - it feels unnatural now.