How on earth do I get her to nap?!

[Bellakins]

I have a 10 week old daughter. We have a bedtime routine - dad bathes her when he gets home from work - 6 ish - then I feed her to sleep and pop her in her Moses basket. So far, so good. I want to stop the feed to sleep thing at some point but what I REALLY want to do is to work out how to get her to nap during the day without props.

I know this will have been done before and I do apologise. Can anyone advise?

I've tried watching for signs of tiredness, then taking her to a quiet room and swaddling her, then popping her down on her Moses basket. But when she lies down she instantly starts crying. I pick her up, sssh her, pat her back, pop her back down, crying starts again. Repeat repeat repeat. Eventually her crying escalates to the point where nothing I do will console her.

What does work, however, is by no means ideal. Taking her out in the car, pram, sometimes she will fall asleep on me after a daytime feed, sometimes the sling works. Any attempt to put her in her Moses basket is an epic fail.

Is this something I should be worried about? Will she eventually "get it", should I persevere with Moses basket?

By the way - She rarely tolerates lying down anywhere unless she can see me - preferably singing to her or dangling a toy in front of her. Maybe when she gets a bit better at amusing herself I should be attempting to put her down for naps as she may be more content?

Anyone got any advice? Or shall I resign myself to pounding the pavements with the pram/getting back ache from the sling/chained to sofa/burning diesel for the rest of my maternity leave?

I'm lucky in that my two have been good daytime sleepers thus far (19 wo twins) and we follow a routine of feed, play, sleep, they usually wear themselves out kicking on the playmat and will drop off about 2 hours after feeding (used to be more like 1.5 hrs at 10weeks).

But one of my friends had the same issue as you and she swears by something called Ewan the Dream Sheep (I know you don't want any props but according to my friend its the only thing that has made her dd sleep in her cot in the daytime).

Thanks, I've googled Ewan the Sheep and it seems to have had some good reviews. Got to be worth a try! And she does like white noise so I'm hopeful.

Hi, absolutely no expert because my 4 mth old is currently really struggling with naps, but she was doing well for a time until 10 days ago. I have found white noise as ceeveebee suggests is really helpful as it helps DD relax. Can just turn the radio on white noise/ untuned really loud. I discovered it worked when was vacuuming one day and DD dropped off to sleep. We leave the radio on all night/ nap time and it helps to re-settle.

Other than that it is timing I think, knowing the signs that LO is sleepy and putting your DD down at the right time (about 1 1/2 hrs after waking at 10 weeks) before she is over-tired. Works really well if you can do it. It is really hard when they are so little. Hope you have some luck.

Thanks roses - I noticed white noise worked when I was hoovering and once when I was drying my hair. It did seem to calm her down. Unfortunately bad for electricity bills and possible fire risk to leave these things on for entire duration of nap!

I then thought that an untuned radio might work but she doesn't seem to like it. Maybe I don't turn it up loud enough, or maybe I should try it quieter. Anyway, I will try that again tomorrow before ordering the sheep just in case.

Re. Watching the signs, I actually only realised a few weeks ago I was supposed to do this. Silly me had thought that when a baby got tired, they would just go to sleep!

Really really don't worry about it. Save yourself the anxiety and just do what it takes. DD never slept anywhere other than in my arms, the sling or the pushchair (sometimes car) or cuddled to sleep in my bed for naps til 6 months old. We then did night sleep training to put her down awake because her night sleep had got terrible. Once she was reliably falling asleep in the evening I started putting her in the cot for naps. By 6.5 months she was mostly napping in the cot. Now at 1yr they tell me she sometimes takes herself off for naps on a cushion at nursery. Your DCs will get there, though I never believed anyone who told me not to worry I really wish I hadn't wasted so many hours of my life trying to "put her down awake" or "shush-pat" her to sleep.

All will be fine, enjoy the cuddles while they last!

bellakins, I could have written your post word for word . Like your DD, my 8w old DD also sleeps really well at night and happily goes down in her basket while half asleep after her bath and last feed, but in the daytime she will only nap out walking in her pram or being cuddled by someone. I've tried putting her down when she is asleep in her basket, in the pram, or just on our bed and every time she wakes up after about 10, 15 mins and is inconsolable because she has woken too early. I've tried Ewan but it hasn't made much effect, but I think its because she wants physical contact and jiggling to sleep rather than white noise.

At the moment I'm trying not to be too stressed about it and have given up with putting her down for daytime naps. Obviously we're both lucky having LO's who go to sleep easily at a reasonable time in the evening and having a stress free evening and some decent sleep really counts for a lot. I get anywhere from 30-60 mins after each feed where she is happy to kick around on her playmat so I can get some eating and housework done then, and if the worst comes to the worst I will put her in the sling and try and do a few things while she sleeps there (though eating with a baby's head in the way is always entertaining!).

So sorry that I don't have any advice, and I'm really just marking my place here, but I guess I also wanted to cheer you up by reminding you that you are doing so well with the night sleeps!

Don't worry about feeding/rocking/driving to sleep. I nearly drove myself mad fretting about rocking DS to sleep because all the baby books said he was supposed to settle himself blah, blah, blah. But the more sleep he got, the better he slept so it was worth doing everything it took to get him there.

When he was 6 months old (and getting really heavy!) I gradually started putting him in his cot before he was fully asleep and soon he'd go down happily awake and drop off.

Some babies are just get that self settling thing later than others, I think!

You could try putting her down a little earlier, I found with DS that if I waiting for tired signs it was already too late. If I remember right, when he was that age, he'd have his first nap 1.5 hrs after waking up, then 2 hours after, then 2 hours after that.

Good luck! You will come through it.

Or you could just have a child who is a crap sleeper. I do! She slept fine at night until he 4 month sleep regression, but I couldn't put her down for naps until she was 14 weeks, I think? And the. It was only feed her on the bed and sneak away. My suggestion is just to roll with it and ignore what the books say!

My DD is 17 months and I still feed or pushchair her to sleep for naps. I'm fine with this. If your DC is going to be with another carer, then they will learn to sleep in other ways!

Agree with others who say don't stress! I used to always feed my DS to sleep on my bed and roll away or just hold him while he napped, naps in the cot were a mythical thing other babies did. He is now 7 months and if we are at home will have lovely long naps in his cot which is bliss, he started being able to do this from about 6 months.

I NEVER thought he would. You dont want to spend your day shushing in a darkened room (I did this and regret it as it was a waste of time!), Id make the most of the lovely weather. Keep trying every now and then putting her down awake, as this will hopefully encourage her to be able to do it a bit sooner than 6 months!

watermint, can I ask how you knew he was ready to nap on his own in his cot? Did you just put him down occasionally?

Thanks for everyone's comments so far. My initial thought was not to stress about it but my husband is so worried about creating bad habits and it does get tiring always being with her while she naps.

BellaCB sorry to hear you're having the same issues but suppose it's always nice to know you're not alone! All the other babies I know in RL sleep in their cots for naps. I'm so jealous!! But you're right, at least the bedtime routine seems to be working. I get a few hours in the evening with husband before going to bed and it's keeping my sanity.

We have other issues with feeding, weight gain and reflux, it would be good to get one thing right! But I will just go with it for now.

Bellakins, don't believe everything your are told about other people's babies. If they are anything like my NCT buddies they might have slightly bent the truth (oh she started rolling at 4 weeks, talking at 6 weeks etc). At least the weather is lovely so if you have to go for a walk to get her to sleep, its not so bad and you get some sunshine too. One ofmy other friends babies would only sleep in her cot not in her pram, so she was trapped in the house for naps.

What is your routine with her during the day regarding feeds and naps? It could be something really simple, or it could just be that she's getting used to self-settling. My DD didn't sleep in her cot during the day for ages (9 months) so I used to have the pram in the house, put her in it with her little giraffe and rock her to sleep. She'd sleep happily in there for a couple of hours. It never affected her ability to self-soothe later on and suddenly she just got used to her cot (I would try putting her down for naps in it every few days).

She may be overtired by the time you're putting her down so looking at her routine would help.

Ah yes, the bad habit business... Took me much longer than 4 months to realise that doing things "wrong" do not mean you're going to end up with a nightmare clingy baby. Ignore books, ignore that you think if your child doesn't fall asleep on their own you have failed. Don't worry about what your OH thinks - he's almost certainly just trying to help and thinks that by reinforcing your fears he is bein supportive - that's what mine's like.

I agree it is exhausting having to be there all the time, but you know what? If you stop even hoping to do any housework it gives you some lovely peace and quiet to nap too or read if you leave your book in the right place. I still sit with DD while she's napping in the cot and read as I got so used to it!

As I said before it took me ages to chill out so I know it's not easy to "just not worry" but do try not to!

As to when is the right time to go for the cot, as watermint suggested you can just try every now and then, but in our case it was pretty obvious. We just kept in mind what we were aiming for and tried to gradually reduce the amount of rocking, til she was just lying on our laps. At that point we thought ok now she's ready to fall asleep in the cot. And the self-settling did wonders for her horrid night wakings! Naps are harder IMO than bedtime though and I still have the odd day when I cuddle her to sleep if it's all going arse over elbow.

Oh those were the days! Me and my sling. Every day. Sometimes several times a day. DS did not like his cot much at around 10 months and thought that the pram was a torture instrument (he was 5 months when he voluntarily fell asleep in the pram for the first time). He is now 14 months and naps in his cot rather nicely (after a bit of rocking )

Bellakins, don't worry about your DD. She sounds like a totally normal baby to me. Just do whatever works now and don't listen to baby books. The only result they tend to produce is to make you feel inadequate or give you false hopes that are then dashed, making you feel inadequate again. Do try putting him down once in a while, I am sure eventually he will decide it's not so bad after all.

loveisagirlnameddaisy our daytime routine is admittedly all over the place, mostly because of the issues I am having with her feeding, which can take 1 hr 45 mins at a time. I am getting RL help with. It's a long story and I'm tapping away on my phone.

But, basically we get up between 7.30-8am and I try to get her to nap around 9-9.30am for an hour. I try to make her nap for longer at lunchtime, up to 2 hrs if possible. Around 4.30pm I will try to get her to nap for 30-45 mins. Sometimes she will skip a nap depending what we are doing and I will try to make the time up elsewhere. Her final feed starts at 6.30pm and I've actually just popped her down asleep now. She will wake anywhere between 12-3 for her next feed. Due to the length of time feeds take I don't feed her at 10pm as some of the books suggest, past experience shows it doesn't actually help us get a longer stretch of sleep as she would still wake around 2/3am, sometimes sooner.

Thank you all for reassuring me that we will be ok! I think the parenting books do contribute to "the fear" of messing it all up. It seems that the 4/5/6 month mark may be when she gets a bit easier for napping. But I will keep trying every few days or so. If nothing else I want her to get used to her cot and hopefully recognise it as a nice place to be!

Bellakins, I took DD swimming today for the first time and after that she was so exhausted I put in down in her basket, swaddled up like at nighttime, and then left her. She spent 45 mins flirting with the ceiling (I kept popping my head in) but then fell asleep and I think she slept for about 45 mins. It was bliss! So there's a way of doing it - knacker then out!

BellaCB that's brilliant! Bet that was fun, can't wait to take her swimming. What did you do when she was down for 45 mins? Hope you put your feet up! I have a terrible knack of doing a few chores if she's fallen asleep in the pram and then as soon as I get ready to sit down and relax she wakes up! It's like she KNOWS. Just as she knows when I'm about to eat lunch and she suddenly wants feeding too!

I started doing a few chores, but then sat and - gasp! - checked MN... I had no idea how long she would stay down for, which was distracting. I really wish I'd had a shower, though, I stink of chlorine...

Good luck with your LO. If you get a result from anything please share - the joy of an hour and a half today with DD asleep upstairs was so much, I now want her to nap other than on me so much more than before! Just one nap, that's all I want, just one nap a day in her basket...

Well, as an update ... I bought Ewan the Dream Sheep and tried it today. Unfortunately, the white noise is too quiet to soothe her (beginning to think my baby is a really loud crier compared to other babies!? Is that possible?) so he's going back. Shame, I had such high hopes too.

Aaaargh!

Bellakins, that's such a shame!

Have you tried putting her down wide awake? Having been inspired to try again by this thread I put LO down swaddled when she was still awake, so pre-empting the tiredness by about 15 mins or so, and she has gone to sleep each time. She doesn't sleep as long as she would on me, and when she wakes up she won't self-settle again so there is some crying, but it has been much more of a success than putting her down when she is actually tired, as we were doing before.

BellaCB that sounds really encouraging! Well done. You have given me hope!

I think I'll try as you suggest. She tends to start crying within minutes of being put down but I'd been watching for tiredness cues - perhaps by then I've already missed the boat. Maybe if I try to put her down around 2 hrs after last waking we'll have more luck. Will report back!

Some good advice we got was to to put a soft blanket on the mattress of the moses basket and also to put in some clothing of mine so my DD would smell that and be more relaxed.

At first she wouldn't go in it at all and would only sleep on me...then we would put her in it when she was asleep (she cried as soon as she woke up to start with).....then kept putting her in it when she was dozy and basically worked up. Each time she settled there for a bit longer (even just 2mins!) I told myself was progress.

Now I can put her down for a nap during the day while she's still awake and she can (usually) settle herself to sleep.

My DD is 11 weeks old btw.

Hello, thank you for everyone's advice and I'm reporting back with an update.

DD (now 15 weeks) is now napping in her cot! Sometimes. But, it is progress compared to when I started the thread so I'm thrilled.

We decided to introduce the cot once her reflux medication was sorted, and she also just seemed to be ready. She started to fall asleep quickly on walks in the pram (within minutes of leaving the house, rather than the 10/15 mins it used to take) and I felt that she was no longer fighting sleep.

The first couple of days we tried, she screamed as soon as we put her down. Then we'd pick her up, comfort her, and put her back down. Sometimes it would work and she would settle and other times she wouldn't, so we abandoned it. Never tried more than 15 minutes at a time. We then stopped trying for a week or so as I felt she was becoming more agitated. However, we tried again at the weekend and she now goes to sleep really quickly, maybe just 1 minute of crying and then she stops and gets that glazed expression, then drops off.

I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel!