how do you sleep train a baby who is sick when he cries?

[MamaChocoholic]

ds2 is 17 months and has never been a great sleeper, but we'd got to a stage where he would reliably go to sleep in his cot with me sitting nearby. then he was ill, and couldn't be put down, even once asleep. when he was better, I tried putting him in the cot, but he cried so hard he coughed and was sick. this sounds dramatic, but having been a reflux baby, he does sick up if he coughs hard, plus he has a permanent cough, so he can be sick within 30 seconds of crying - it's not like I left him for half an hour or something!

so, around this time he also tried climbing out of his cot in a growbag and very nearly made it. I started trying to get him to go to sleep on the mattress on the floor that I use for co sleeping for part of the night. it worked fine the first night, he and dd (twins) bf, popped her in her cot, he lay down and went to sleep. fantastic :) the next night I tried the same, he lay down ready to go to sleep, then after a bit, 10 mins or so, starting crying, and was sick within 2 minutes, even though I was sitting on the mattress with him, talking, stroking, trying to comfort. I changed him, and fed him to sleep.

the same thing happened the next few nights, so I just gave up, fed him to sleep lying down so I could get up and leave him there. I thought I'd do this for a couple of weeks, so he forgot about being sick. well, last night I tried again to get him to go to sleep without bf, and he coughed like he was about to be sick. probably not the best time, as he is under the weather, but I was that fed up. he wouldn't feed to sleep either, and in the end, dp persuaded me to bring him downstairs, where he fell asleep in my arms, without crying or bf. I don't think that's progress though - I want him to go to sleep in his room.

so, I'm going to leave it till he's properly well. but then, I need a plan. and wtf can I do if he cries the instant I don't bf and is then sick? I think he's picked up that I really hate sick, so it will get an instant response.

I know this makes me sound like a terrible mother, that I let my child cry till he's sick, but I have never left him to cry alone. although in the past he has cried a lot to get to sleep (with me there, but not holding him because you can't always hold two babies), that hasn't happened recently. I don't know what to do to change this pattern. please, any suggestions?

Can you feed then cuddle to sleep? Perhaps have an armchair in the room you can recline on with him (not in a feeding position, I used to have ds on my chest like a little baby). Then work on putting him down just before he falls asleep, gradually putting him down earlier until he's awake?

Although I'd tackle his permanent cough. Has his reflux been sorted? Is he on meds?

Can you DP or DH go and comfort him so that he is not left alone crying and getting really distressed? That way he cant be bf as you're not there.

he's been sick with dp too.

I have tried rocking to sleep whilst standing, which can work, but he wakes when I put him down, whether he's fully asleep or just nearly there.

gp doesn't seem bothered by his cough - could it be reflux related? he isn't on meds. his reflux was silent till about 5 months, it was only when he started being sick after that that we connected his constant screaming with reflux, but it seemed to improve from 8 months, and nowadays he doesn't seem to be upset/sicky except when it's time to sleep.

ps thanks for reading, hadn't realised how long my op was!

Maybe you could try not doing bedtime for a while, and let DP do it - then bfing isn't an option.

I would prepare for the sick (two part pjyamas rather than a sleepsuit so top is easy to change, extra sheet on the bed to change, wipes to hand etc) and have DP clear up quickly without turning the light on/talking/making a fuss and carry on getting him to sleep.

Yes - a chronic cough can be because of the acid.

Which might explain why he likes feeding to sleep as it soothes his throat. If he's got a low level irritation which is more apparent at bedtime then I can see why he won't settle easily.

So I'd push back to the GP and ask to try a low level dose of ranitidine to reduce acid production or see a paediatrician. Did he have trouble with his gag reflux when on solids? Or try giving a few sips of peppermint tea before bedtime with a touch of honey as that might help.

DS had reflux as does dd so have been there!

ok, that's useful to know iggly. may still have some ranitidine left over, will check expiry date, and head back to gp if that helps. will also try peppermint and honey. I don't think he has full on reflux, but is double jointed (like me), and his sphincter muscle may be a bit too lax (like mine).

weaning... he didn't gag much as I recall, but it's all a bit hazy.

I won't push the sleep thing till we work out if it's reflux related, wouldn't be fair if he's in pain with it, poor thing.

It might just be a low level irritation. Lying down definitely wont help either. Worth checking his diet too - anything too acidic or fatty at bedtime might be setting something off too.

my DS was exactly like that, literally as soon as he started to cry, he would be sick, also he can make himself sick, can cough, then gag, then vomit on demand. We tried getting through it without medication as the medical world said reflux doesn't exist, and that he'd grow out of it, but after a year i had had enough. He had started going to nursery and his record was throwing up and getting 3 of their staff in one go, plus himself and the cot. Got referred to a consultant after videoing one of his voluntary making himself sick sessions. He was prescribed losec tablets and domperidone, and i can't believe how much he has changed. Mealtimes are now a pleasure, and he has only had one sickness involuntarily in the last month ish, and the involuntary has improved massively and we can now leave him in his cot to self settle to sleep. We found giving him a pillow for comfort also helped. Just wish we could stop the involuntary stuff completely, he still does it whenever we leave him (even if leave him in the dining room whilst we take things back into the kitchen) and our other issue is waking up early in the morning. But the medication has made life a lot more tolerable!

We had this.

Turned out to be a dairy allergy.