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16 month old, early waking, and i'm 16 weeks pregnant and need sleep and something needs to change but need help!!

13 replies

Loopyhasanotherbean · 25/03/2012 10:01

Hi all

this is my DS's current routine, he has reflux so we have to factor in a 30 minute delay between giving him his domperidone medicine and giving him his meals, and he also has it before his bedtime bottle. I breast fed DS until i was 10 weeks pregnant, and he used to sleep better, but there is no going back to breastfeeding, and we really need to try and get him sleeping longer, even if he would sleep till 6.30am it would make a big difference to us (DP commutes to London so his alarm goes off around then anyhow).

5.30 on average is the latest he wakes up, but can be anywhere between 5-5.30, and on waking he has his domperidone
6.00 has breakfast (weetabix, 1/2 pot of fruit puree with his losec tablet, and toast)
7.30 5 oz cows milk
7.40 morning nap (because of early waking, he cannot cope being up more than 2 hours before he is desperate to go back to bed, rubbing eyes, crying etc)
8.40-9.10 wakes from nap
10.00 has a snack - perhaps a biscuit/raisins
11.00 has domperidone
11.30 dinner - finger foods, typically 1 beetroot, 2 cherry tomatoes, sliced pepper, cucumber, 2-3 grapes, crisp puffs, cheese on toast (won't eat sandwiches or untoasted bread at the moment), few prawns or a crabstick or some fresh meat, chopped melon/mango/kiwi/strawberries/a plum, followed by a petit filous
1.45 5oz cows milk
1.55 afternoon nap
3.30-4 wakes from nap
4.00 has domperidone
4.30 tea - hot savoury meal, always has protein as part of it, and remaining half a pot of puree, then more fresh fruit, perhaps a small slice of cake or half a hot cross bun if we have something like that in the house at the time
6.00 begs food from my tea (i am having to have my dinner at 11.30 whilst he has his else it is impossible to eat it without him screaming at me throughout, which then means i am starving and can't wait until he has gone to bed before having my tea like i used to - am now 16 weeks pregnant and not put on any weight and so am now listening to when i am hungry as i need to start putting me and the new baby first a bit more)
6.30 has domperidone
7.00 6oz cows milk
7.10 goes to sleep for the night.

Can anyone give us any suggestions as to what to do that might encourage him to swop part of his naps for a longer night time sleep, or anything else that might help?

He sleeps in his own room and has done since he was 6 months old. He is very happy to go to sleep, self settles calmly within a minute or two of being put down, and doesn't cry at all. He has black out blinds. He sleeps in a merino sleeping bag so is never cold, and never too hot. He has a snuggle blanket with a teddy on for comfort which he holds/chews, and a pillow that he snuggles into. There is no stress whatsoever when he goes in the cot, and he rarely wakes in the night, but he just seems unable to sleep beyond 10 1/2 hours. He wakes up happy, chirpy, chatty, and raring to go. He is a very lively boy, on the go all the time, he isn't one for playing quietly/calmly or sitting with a book etc, he is like a duracell bunny! He goes to nursery 2 afternoons a week, and doesn't sleep as well there, the most he has as an afternoon nap is usually around 50 minutes. On these days he is so overtired, i pick him up at 6 and he would like to go straight to bed when we get home (about 6.10). He still wakes early the following day despite having had less naps the day before. He has also had a couple of whole days there, and refused morning naps, and only had 30 minutes afternoon naps, but still woke early the following mornings. We have always found that the more sleep he has in the day, the better he sleeps at night, but nothing ever seems to alter him waking early. However we are getting desperate and are willing to try anything if it means we get just an extra hours sleep in the morning.

Can anyone help??

OP posts:
Mibby · 25/03/2012 12:16

Cant help but Im bumping it for you

Juule · 25/03/2012 12:28

Could you go to bed an hour or so earlier so that getting up earlier isn't tiring you out?
Do you have a partner? If so, could you take turns at getting up early and let the other one have an extra hour?
If you have your dinner at 11:30 and are hungry later could you prepare yourself a snack for then?
Are you at home when he is at nursery? If so, could you use the time to catch up on sleep?

5madthings · 25/03/2012 12:46

not much advice, other than try moving his bedtime a bit later and with time he may well grow out of it, when he wakes do you have to go into him straight away? will he play quietly in his cot? my ds1 used to get up early and would potter in his room, which was totally safe, from 18mths ish when h was in a toddler bed. xx

vez123 · 25/03/2012 13:21

Try and restructure his naps. At that age most children are either on one nap in the middle of the dat or on two with the morning one kept short. Right now he is probably catching up on his sleep during the morning nap. Try and push the morning nap later and keep it shorter like from 9:30 to 10 and then put him down after lunch for a long nap. It may take a few days.. He will probably move to one nap soon anyway.
Also lots of activity outside in the afternoon may help.
Early morning waking can be difficult to resolve but often a change of routine helps..
Have you also tried plenty of carbs for dinner? Sorry, cannot remember what you said and am on phone at the mo..

Iggly · 25/03/2012 14:16

The early waking is likely because he's losing day sleep so he gets into an over tired cycle.

I'd give him an afternoon nap closer to his lunch - 12.30 maybe? And push his morning nap to 8 for 30-45 mins. Try that for a week with an earlier bedtime of 6.30. So 5 min bath as soon as home from nursery, pjs, story, bed. His tea looks too early at half 4. Can he have it at 5?

Also if he has reflux, have you ruled out cows milk intolerance? I'd switch to an oat/coconut based milk enriched with calcium and up his fat intake elsewhere. Ds had reflux and soya/cows milk intolerance (common to get both hence not switching to soya) and only by 18 months could he have yoghurt or cheese. It can give you a low level feeling of yuck which can affect sleep. It's worth a shot again for a week.

Loopyhasanotherbean · 25/03/2012 14:42

i'm not a great sleeper myself at the best of times, and especially not when pregnant. DP snores, and i wake once a night for a wee. And it can take me a while to drop off at night, and then whenever i wake in the night, i could be awake again for a while (i've had nights where i've lay here for 2 hours trying to get to sleep). So once we wake up to DS on the monitor, i find it hard to get back to sleep, nigh on impossible. DP is doing what he can, like i said he doesn't get home till after Ds is asleep, but when DS wakes in the morning, DP goes into him, gives him his medicine, changes his nappy and dresses him, and takes him downstairs, empties the dishwasher, and makes up his milk bottles during the half hour between him having the medicine and being able to have his breakfast, and then he often starts him on his breakfast, meanwhile i drink a glass of milk to settle my stomach (don't get morning sickness but have to drink milk before i get vertical!), then i have a shower, and get dressed so i can take over from DP at 6.45. (DS can make himself sick whenever he wants, so if i leave him to have a shower, he will do, so this is the only way i can have a shower - if i have one whilst he is napping, he wakes up).

If i had a snack at 6 instead of tea, DS would still want some, he has gone a long time being sick, and now he is on medication, he is eating like never before, and seems to have a bottomless stomach.

DS goes to nursery so i can attempt to do some work, i predominantly work from home, with occasional client visits. I can't sleep on demand, else i'd sleep every day when DS does, my body wants to sleep about 4pm onwards, and i must admit things have got that bad that i have crawled under the covers a few times lately when he is at nursery, which makes me feel bad, as DP is paying for the nursery so that i can work, not so i can sleep.

He will stay happy in his cot for perhaps 10-15 minutes on a good day - the 5.30 average that i mentioned in my post is the time when he is no longer happy being on his own and starts kicking off if DP doesn't go in.

Every evening meal he has contains either pasta, potato or rice. and protein.

Re activities, i really can't begin to describe how active he is. And until this last week, he was doing something every monday, wednesday and friday morning, plus nursery tues and thurs afternoons. Never made any difference to his sleep whatsoever.

Could try and move his naps a bit, but i'm not sure how much i could move them by. Its a nightmare knowing what to do for the best. He is so happy with our current routine apart from wanting to go to bed about an hour earlier, but we really can't cope with this for much longer, me particularly! An average night for me is to probably fall asleep about 11 if i'm lucky, get woken at least twice by DP snoring, once for a wee, and then by 5-5.15ish with DS, with him properly wanting attention by 5.30 at the latest. And never dropping straight asleep after any of the night wakings...

OP posts:
Iggly · 25/03/2012 14:49

I'm confused.

If he wants to go to bed an hour earlier, why don't you let him? Can you change his nursery hours to mornings?

Juule · 25/03/2012 15:18

"If i had a snack at 6 instead of tea, DS would still want some,"
Make him a snack too?

"I can't sleep on demand, else i'd sleep every day when DS does",

Even if you can't sleep, make sure you rest (you might even find you nod off for a few minutes) It will make a difference.

" that i have crawled under the covers a few times lately when he is at nursery, which makes me feel bad, as DP is paying for the nursery so that i can work, not so i can sleep. "

Don't feel bad. If you need the rest then you need the rest. Also, your dp isn't paying for the nursery - you both are. Surely it's coming out of the family income. And if it keeps you well then it's worth the expense to the whole family.

"An average night for me is to probably fall asleep about 11 if i'm lucky, get woken at least twice by DP snoring,"

Could you go to bed earlier than you do and maybe fall asleep earlier? How about ear-plugs to help avoid being woken by snoring.

Your ds sounds very normal to me and we found that the best way was to change our routines to accommodate toddlers (within reason) until they passed through that particular phase. It's worth trying to change nap-times etc but as you have said he has a settle routine, which although it's not how you would like it is somewhat predictable giving you an opportunity to be more flexible with your own routines.
Lack of sleep is a nightmare. Whenever possible try to catch up however you are able to. Being less tired puts most other things into perspective.

loveisagirlnameddaisy · 25/03/2012 18:27

Was in the same boat as you, my DD was 14 months though. She was having two long naps a day as well. I cut the morning nap down to 45 mins, then 30, and made sure the next nap after lunch was no more than 2 hours. It took a month of doing this consistently to see a difference but at the end of this month I was waking her at 7am every day.

I truly believe some children need to drop daytime sleep when they get to a certain age and while some do it of their own accord, others will not to the detriment of their nighttime sleep. I know it might feel wrong to cut his nap if he seems tired but the only reason he's tired is because his nighttime sleep is being compromised by the length of his naps. If you find he struggles with reducing his naps, I'd put him to bed earlier, rather than continue with long naps.

Another poster also mentioned carbs at tea, I agree with this as they are sleep inducing. Hope that helps.

vix206 · 26/03/2012 07:05

If he's wanting bed time an hour earlier let him go to bed! It could simply be that he's overtired and the extra hour at night could solve the night wakings and early starts. That's all it took for my ds and it worked immediately. Lack of sleep is horrible. I'm in bed by 9 every night even now ds wakes at 7, just in case he wakes up earlier!!

vix206 · 26/03/2012 07:08

Just read your second post too. He definitely sounds as though he needs more sleep to me.

omama · 26/03/2012 11:10

I completely agree with love that while some babies cut down on naps naturally, others don't & will instead cut down on their nights (mine is one of those!!!)

I'm going to contradict here & say that I am not so sure that bringing his bedtime earlier is a good idea while he remains on his current routine. Whilst he will of course be tired by bedtime (because his day is long from the early waking), the length of time he is awake between his afternoon nap (2-3.30/4pm) & bedtime 7pm is actually pretty short for his age. This may be part of the reason he is only sleeping for 10.5hrs at night - because he's simply not tired enough to sleep for any longer. I fear if you bring BT earlier as things currently stand, his wakeup time might actually get even earlier.

The other big issue here is that morning nap. Its far too early. At his age he should be able to last much longer than 2hrs awake before he needs a nap. He needs the nap atm because he's not sleeping enough at night, but by offering the nap so early you are allowing him to catch up on what he missed at night, & thus carry on the cycle of early waking.

The best thing you can possibly do to break the early waking cycle is what several pp's have suggested i.e gradually push the morning nap later & make it shorter. It really needs to be no earlier than 9.30am & for no more than 30mins. Then his afternoon nap should be just after lunch at 12.30/1pm. The combination of these two changes will give him more time awake between PM nap & BT and hopefully break the early morning waking cycle.

I have a sneaking suspicion though that the only way you will see a real improvement in his wakeup time is when you completely drop his morning nap, and have him take a single nap at lunchtime, coupled with an early bedtime.

xx

loveisagirlnameddaisy · 26/03/2012 12:01

Second all that omama is saying. Also, if you do change things please don't become disheartened if there's no change after a week. It took me at least a month of being completely consistent and I'm sure that was part of my success. I was hoping for miracles after the first couple of days but didn't get them. It's easy to give up at this point assuming you've failed and some people say you can change a baby's habits v quickly. Where sleep habits are concerned I'm afraid I don't agree. They can fall into them quickly but take longer to fall out of them.

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