Going to sleep for Dh but not mummy?!!!

[flowerfairy]

Since finishing bfing dd d took on the role of main putting dd to bed duties. He has established a fab routine which really works for dd 13mths-bath, stories, put sleeping bag on, another story, lullaby and bed. HAve discussed at length with dh the ins and outs of routine and think i'm following exact same routine. I try to put her to bed at least twice a week and always on friday when dh goes out. However whenever i do it she cries and gets very upset after i have laid her down and walked out of the room , she occasionally make a murmur for dh but last few nights she appears to go straight to sleep. Last night she screamed for 1 1/2 hours and felt very hopeless.

HAve decided next week i will have to bite the bullet and do it every night to see if this helps. She has regular naps and when i lay her down for naps she either lies down and goes to sleep straight away or quick moan then sleep and it is always me who puts her down for a nap except for the 2 days i work.

HAs anybody got a ny ideas. I just end up feeling so useless and hopeless and guilty that is seem to be unable to put my dd to bed at night.

It's not what you are doing it's the fact you are not DH. They have the routine and it's 'their' thing.

Make a new routine, where you take turns or do it together.

I have the same problem, though it is getting easier now. I had no problems at all until DTs were just under a year (had the whole process down to 15 mins at one point - not BA for two babies!), then bedtime turned into an endless cycle if feeding, crying, giggling, feeding - it went on and on and in every night, until DH came home. He popped them in their cots and they went out like lights . They'd also go down no problem for my mum it DH without a BF if I wasn't there.

They're 17 months old now, and they're getting better at going to bed for me. I'm not really doing anything differently, but I do try to leave the room at the first calm moment. They then often settle. If I don't leave at the perfect moment, we get sucked back into the endless bedtime cycle (thank god DH is home at 7.45 most days!).

Out of necessity, I tend to take the 'roll with it' approach to parenting. If your DD wants your DH to put her to bed, can you accommodate that most of the time? Or could you do 90% of the routine and let DH do the last 10 mins? If your DD is anything like my DTs things will change in a few months anyway ....