Who else just follows baby's routine?

[empirepenguin]

My DS is now 10 weeks and ebf and we have for the most part just followed his cues to establish a feeding & bedtime routine. This does mean that often times change a bit & he might feed more or less on a particular day. He sleeps well on his own and can self settle during the night, but we are not seeing the 6 hour sleeps that he used to do as he has gone back to 4 or 5 hours at most (which Im not complaining about, just wonder if this is normal?).

Our routine is roughly:
7/8am wakes up
Every 2- 4 hours will do a cycle of feed, play, nap.
7/8 Bath
8/9 Bed
12/1 feed
5/6 feed
Maybe get another hour or 2 depending on nappy.

This feels good for us, BUT Im usually one for doing my research and I haven't read any books on sleeping or routines for happy babies. So am pondering whether I should I delve into the literature or stick to our baby led routine.

Any thoughs? (Sorry, epic post!)

Sounds very like our routine with 6 week old DD. Not much to add other than I'm interested in what others do...

Stick to your babies routine!! Books are guidelines and not always good for every baby as they are all different!! Your current routine looks good.

DD led us in terms of routine and now at 2 has a very good nap/sleep routine which she has had since a baby. She dropped feeds naturally herself too which took lots of stress away.

She is also flexible, so if stays up a little later, she wakes a little later etc. We are very lucky!! Let's hope DC2 is as good once they arrive

Books are written for the average child, hence the phrase "textbook baby"!! If you do use them, don't take every word as having to apply to your individual child.

That said, I have always found them useful to dip into if I ever got into a phase which I wasn't comfortable with. I was baby led for the first year but battled with her early starts (I need my sleep and consequently became very down about being sleep deprived). I found my solution from a book and I was much happier as a result.

What feels right for you? Your baby is still very young so there's plenty of time to see what's out there and if adopting elements of a routine make sense to you, then go for it.

Follow your baby's 'routine' - if you're happy, and baby's happy then why try to 'fix' something that's not broken and force your baby into an alternative schedule? :) That sounds like some nice sleep you're getting there - perhaps your baby could write some instructions for mine

I was following my babies routine up until she was about 16wo but then she just suddenly started doing the most random wakings etc and everything went to pot. I've now had to engineer nap times a bit so that they fall at the right times and things are starting to get back on track.

I would say that if you're both happy then go with the flow but if things change and start not to work then perhaps have a think about how to help it. I started off by going with the flow when she changed her ways and it only made things worse, our days were starting at 4:30am!

I had a sleep when the baby sleeps motto, and supplemented that with a sleep whenever there is another adult in the house motto too.

Usually I went to bed at 7pm and got up at 8am. Baby was brought to me for feeds and tucked in with me at midnight. One way or other, I got my 8-9 hours in those 12 hours and never got shattered.

Housework was done during the day but was minimal. Dinner was made in batches in advance to be warmed up.

I would always feed before going out regardless of whether baby was asking. Usually got enough of a snack to keep going until it was convenient again. I also fed every time I sat down, stopped, drank tea, MNed etc.

I followed my babies routine to start with, & all went well, until we got to 3/4 months & he would no longer settle for naps, and just wanted to be cuddled by me all the time. And screamed for a lot of the day. Then I found myself thinking 'what the hell am I doing?!' and I dug out the books.

I found the solutions to our problems & things settled down again. Like PP's say - they're great for dipping into now & then for dealing with specific problems, but dont assume that ALL other babies do what the textbooks say b/c its simply not true!!!xx

Great, I don't seem to be missing vital anecdotes and tips on how to create the "perfect" sleep routine. I don't feel particularly overtired and quite like that DS can be a bit flexible too! :)

I've done a bit of both, taken advice from books but tweaked them so it worked for us. I like routine cos I like to know where I am and what I'm doing. I dont actually think textbook babies exist! if you did read a book you would prob find that your routine is quite similar to what they say anyway. your baby might need a few extra night feeds or it could be an early start to sleep regression or it could just be a fluke and they'll settle back in. Do what works for you.

4 months is classic wonky sleep time, there's a huge growth spurt and sleep regression. No book would've been able to sort my DS out at that time!

We've always been baby-led and he's 13m now. He's always napped more in the day than he "should" and fed a lot more when he was younger too. Books would've stressed me out.

He fell into his own routine by about 10 weeks and then just dropped naps/feeds by himself. I guess I've been lucky that he's a creature of habit.

What I will say is to make a note of the ages for growth spurts so you don't think you're going mad/doing something wrong when all of a sudden they're unsettled/wake more etc. Oh and learning new things and teething can wake them too. And illness. Oh it's fun!

I think books/routines are good for mums who like routine and struggle with the concept of going with the flow. It really depends what sort of parent you are. I've got friends who've done baby led parenting, one gas a baby who slept through the night at 6 weeks (rare but not a myth) and the other has a 3 year old who still wakes regularly. Routines dont necessarily prevent this but I think they do give you a plan to follow if that's what you need to get through the day.

Of course it's each to their own, Daisy. I love routine, but DS wouldn't have fitted into one of the book routines! So I guess it depends on the baby as well. We still have a routine, we both know how the day will go, it's just his own and not one from a book. Baby led doesn't always mean no structure at all :)

It's funny how a lot of babies also end up in the sort of routine that the books talk about anyway! I agree Jugs that baby led can still constitute a routine; I'm just thinking of situations where baby-led ends up being very tiring or debilitating for parents eg waking every day at 4.30am which I had for 6 months. I couldn't see a way of changing it and no HV was able to help.

Oh definitely, I've just been really lucky that DS tended towards structure. I know some people who've been baby led and it's all up in the air. If that had been me I may have tried some routines!

I found out this morning that DS has actually fallen in to Gina Ford's sleep times! And that his pattern of napping when he was tiny was very "Baby Whisperer", with his very specific amount of awake time - you could set your watch by him, he was only able to stay awake for an hour until he was about 4m old.