stuck in a rut - 3.5 year old

[CaresMildly]

8 times out of 10 my DD will go off to sleep reasonably easily - read 3 story books together, switch light off and hold her hand 'til she drifts off. Generally takes about 30 mins which is fine.

But the other times she is a nightmare of wriggling, messsing around and generally trying to keep herself awake.

Now we're handling this wrong, we know that because at that point we'll threaten to go and either give in or not give in, depending on how resolute we're feeling. Either way it then causes a lot of crying and trauma.

So my feeling is we somehow need to address this in the daytime to resolve it but that hasn't worked so far either.

Any ideas for how I can move it forward in a calm fashion so on wriggly nights we don't end up with all this stress?

I had to stop sitting with my ds1 as he was confused that sometimes I would stay and sometimes go depending on how tired I was. He is a wriggler too but now I leave him he can wriggle in peace!

How long did it take for him to accept you were going?

Well he didn't like it as he was used to me staying until he was asleep but I was quite firm and just said 'mummy's going to get her dressing gown (or something like that) and I'll come and check on you in 5 minutes. Then I would just stay upstairs and potter around so he knew I wax still around, then go back in and check on him again. Took a few times and he did used to come out but just put him back. Wasn't that bad though as he knew I hadn't left and was still upstairs. I also said something like 'Ur a big boy now and I dont need to sit with you'

Maybe u could tell her before bed... Praise Her for being a big girl then explain you're not sitting with her. Just stick too it as I've gone back on it before and had to start again x

There is a checking method I've seen in a few childcare books (naming no names!). It involves what Wrenner says where you put them to bed with usual routine (and try to keep this consistent). Then you say, I'm just going to the look or I'm going to brush my teeth, Mummy will be back in a few minutes to check you're okay. The first few times you should go back in to build the trust etc but eventually, they will forget/fall asleep.

My 2.5 yr old goes down brilliantly but occasionally tries to prolong story time and I just put her to bed and say 'Daddy will be in in five minutes to read you more stories and tuck you in'. She's usually asleep in two!

Sorry, going to the loo, not the look!!!

Oh didn't actually know it was a 'method' lol! X

You are a natural childcare guru!! :)

Haha!!! If only!! Xx

I put audio stories on for my 3 year old as it stops the fuss and he falls asleep listening to them straightaway... Easiest for me!

Thanks both - that could work quite well for her I think. I will try it tomorrow and report back in a week or so on how we get on.

I guess we didn't try anything before because every time we got to breaking point she'd then slip back into the "good" nighttime routine. However, I think she is old enough to not need us there for her to be able to go to sleep.